Dumbest Things Ever Said

[str8jacket]

I'm sure alot of you guys have some classics

Let me know, I got some...I'll wait till I see yours.

[str8jacket]

I figure I'll go ahead and post this before it looks like I'm copying someone, here's one of my many.

I will be called cynical for this.....

A girl (believe it or not) once told me "I Love You"

:laugh: I'm 18 and have no redeeming qualities. Fail!

[Silent-Assassin]

" I know about foreign policy because I can see Russia from my backyard."

-Sarah Palin:duh::brick:

[str8jacket]

" I know about foreign policy because I can see Russia from my backyard."

-Sarah Palin:duh::brick:

:laugh:

One of my buddies had a girl send him a text saying.

"I'm pregnant and I'm pretty sure it's yours."

:laugh: Oh man.......

[Silent-Assassin]

:laugh:

One of my buddies had a girl send him a text saying.

"I'm pregnant and I'm pretty sure it's yours."

:laugh: Oh man.......

Oh Snap!!!

" Brandon Marshall Is the 134th best player in the 06 Draft"

http://www.sportspool.com/football/draft/492.php

[Bronco_f1]

Once a girl told me "I love you"

I told her: "I know you do"

Then didnt say anything else. She's been mean to me at times ever since

[alistair145]

a boy said to me, "i love you"
then i said, "but i don't"

[Peerless]

I could get really REALLY flamed for this...so don't look down if you LOVE xmas.



















































































I was in 5th grade... and I knew the "big secret", and this annoying kid in my class didn't.

So he was talking one day "Santa came through my front door, I got a picture with him."

My stupid self said: "No he didn't... he's not real. It's probably just your uncle or something."

Kid: Looking at me with a weeping face.


Teacher: "Way to ruin the spirit of christmas brent."

:eek::eek:

[Southstander]

Ed Hochuli bet on the Broncos that is why he made the call he did. JC Davey.

[Ravage!!!]

Ed Hochuli bet on the Broncos that is why he made the call he did. JC Davey.

I think that is one of the dumbest things I've seen/heard.

[Southstander]

but since he put in it the land of kool-aid drinking Sparkler fans he got away with it,

[Broncosfreak_56]

I told a girl a was from Norway. She looked at me confused and said, " Where in America is Norway???"

:doh:

[str8jacket]

This thread must live!

[Southstander]

I told a girl a was from Norway. She looked at me confused and said, " Where in America is Norway???"

:doh:


LOL was she blonde.

[Broncosfreak_56]

LOL was she blonde.

Eh, I don't remember, it was a while ago. I think she was though.

[Bronco_Armada]

When I was 5 I was wearing a blue shirt and green pants.

My Aunt made a comment saying that those 2 colors did not go together.

I told her "But God made the sky blue and the grass green"

My aunt: "Don't be a smart ass"

Me: "Better than a dumb ass"

:sad:

[Legendary30]

"Shut your mouth when you talk to me!!"-wedding crashers :laugh:

[str8jacket]

Tusconsaint referring to all Bronco fans as Inbreds.

What a joke.

[BroncFanInPA]

"Why did they call them the "dark ages", didn't the sun shine?"

I had already married her, so it was too late :eek:


Another from my brother in law, whom we had invited to dinner (barbequed ribs):
"Man, I love the taste of meat in my mouth."

It's been 15 years, and he still hears that one :laugh:

[getlynched47]

"who's Champ Bailey? Does he score a lot of touchdowns?"

[Legendary30]

"The Raiders are a Professional football team."-:rolleyes:

[Southstander]

" I know about foreign policy because I can see Russia from my backyard."

-Sarah Palin:duh::brick:

Gov. Palin did not say that interview with Charles Gibson

GIBSON: But this is not just reforming a government. This is also running a government on the huge international stage in a very dangerous world. When I asked John McCain about your national security credentials, he cited the fact that you have commanded the Alaskan National Guard and that Alaska is close to Russia. Are those sufficient credentials?

PALIN: But it is about reform of government and it's about putting government back on the side of the people, and that has much to do with foreign policy and national security issues Let me speak specifically about a credential that I do bring to this table, Charlie, and that's with the energy independence that I've been working on for these years as the governor of this state that produces nearly 20 percent of the U.S. domestic supply of energy, that I worked on as chairman of the Alaska Oil and Gas Conservation Commission, overseeing the oil and gas development in our state to produce more for the United States.

~~~~~Later in the Interview~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
GIBSON: Let's start, because we are near Russia, let's start with Russia and Georgia.

The administration has said we've got to maintain the territorial integrity of Georgia. Do you believe the United States should try to restore Georgian sovereignty over South Ossetia and Abkhazia?

PALIN: First off, we're going to continue good relations with Saakashvili there. I was able to speak with him the other day and giving him my commitment, as John McCain's running mate, that we will be committed to Georgia. And we've got to keep an eye on Russia. For Russia to have exerted such pressure in terms of invading a smaller democratic country, unprovoked, is unacceptable and we have to keep...

GIBSON: You believe unprovoked.

PALIN: I do believe unprovoked and we have got to keep our eyes on Russia, under the leadership there. I think it was unfortunate. That manifestation that we saw with that invasion of Georgia shows us some steps backwards that Russia has recently taken away from the race toward a more democratic nation with democratic ideals.That's why we have to keep an eye on Russia.

And, Charlie, you're in Alaska. We have that very narrow maritime border between the United States, and the 49th state, Alaska, and Russia. They are our next door neighbors.We need to have a good relationship with them. They're very, very important to us and they are our next door neighbor.

GIBSON: What insight into Russian actions, particularly in the last couple of weeks, does the proximity of the state give you?

PALIN: They're our next door neighbors and you can actually see Russia from land here in Alaska, from an island in Alaska.

GIBSON: What insight does that give you into what they're doing in Georgia?

PALIN: Well, I'm giving you that perspective of how small our world is and how important it is that we work with our allies to keep good relation with all of these countries, especially Russia. We will not repeat a Cold War. We must have good relationship with our allies, pressuring, also, helping us to remind Russia that it's in their benefit, also, a mutually beneficial relationship for us all to be getting along.

Sarah Palin on Russia:

We cannot repeat the Cold War. We are thankful that, under Reagan, we won the Cold War, without a shot fired, also. We've learned lessons from that in our relationship with Russia, previously the Soviet Union.

We will not repeat a Cold War. We must have good relationship with our allies, pressuring, also, helping us to remind Russia that it's in their benefit, also, a mutually beneficial relationship for us all to be getting along.

GIBSON: Would you favor putting Georgia and Ukraine in NATO?

PALIN: Ukraine, definitely, yes. Yes, and Georgia.

GIBSON: Because Putin has said he would not tolerate NATO incursion into the Caucasus.

PALIN: Well, you know, the Rose Revolution, the Orange Revolution, those actions have showed us that those democratic nations, I believe, deserve to be in NATO.

Putin thinks otherwise. Obviously, he thinks otherwise, but...

GIBSON: And under the NATO treaty, wouldn't we then have to go to war if Russia went into Georgia?

[Snapping Turtle]

I was at the rockies game and this conversation happened behind me:

Guy: Yes! Ball four!
Girl: Aren't they all balls?

Me: :eek: :laugh:

[Southstander]

I was at the rockies game and this conversation happened behind me:

Guy: Yes! Ball four!
Girl: Aren't they all balls?

Me: :eek: :laugh:

All I can say is WOW.

http://www.highenergyconstructs.com/hecla/wp-content/uploads/2007/09/shocked%20nazi.JPG

[Snapping Turtle]

All I can say is WOW.

http://www.highenergyconstructs.com/hecla/wp-content/uploads/2007/09/shocked%20nazi.JPG

Yeah...I almost hit her. I have a very long (too long if you ask me) collection of dumb things people say about baseball and at Rockies games. I guess I will share the rest.

Me(while on the other side of the room, within earshot of the TV but not able to actually see it): Where did they just hit the ball?
Roomie: I don't know.
Me: Right or left field?
Roomie: I thought we were in San Francisco.

I don't really GET what she meant, but it was stupid and idiotic.

Me and my BFF are at the Rockies game, there are some girls in front of us.
Girl 1: Why is there a row of purple seats?
Girl 2: I don't know, maybe its for every home run they've ever hit.
Me: :eek:

You know how they hose down the field before the game? Well me and my brother are sitting there waiting for the game to start...the field crew is already gone.

Guy behind me: Did they get rain?
Guy 2: Why? I don't think so?
Guy 1: Because the dirt is all wet.
Me: :eek:

I am sitting in the rockpile with my BFF.
Guy behind me: There went the no hitter!
Girl: Whats a hit?
Me: :eek:

SAME guy and girl...like halfway through the game.
Girl: Are we the blue team or the white team?
Me: :eek:

That is just some of it...really. I could go on. That really upsets me actually.

[KozmicKlown]

I was in Disney world, and these kids were goofing around, you know, just being kids.

When there mom looks at them and says "This is no place to have fun!" And then grabbed them and walked away.

C'mon. Isn't that the happiest place on earth.

[Chris Wade]

Uhm.........."I do" about sums it up for me.

[Peanut]

Uhm.........."I do" about sums it up for me.

:eek: I'm going to tell your wife!



:laugh:

[Chris Wade]

:eek: I'm going to tell your wife!



:laugh:

snitch-bucket

[lilsstinkr]

Yeah...I almost hit her. I have a very long (too long if you ask me) collection of dumb things people say about baseball and at Rockies games. I guess I will share the rest.

Me(while on the other side of the room, within earshot of the TV but not able to actually see it): Where did they just hit the ball?
Roomie: I don't know.
Me: Right or left field?
Roomie: I thought we were in San Francisco.

I don't really GET what she meant, but it was stupid and idiotic.

Me and my BFF are at the Rockies game, there are some girls in front of us.
Girl 1: Why is there a row of purple seats?
Girl 2: I don't know, maybe its for every home run they've ever hit.
Me: :eek:

You know how they hose down the field before the game? Well me and my brother are sitting there waiting for the game to start...the field crew is already gone.

Guy behind me: Did they get rain?
Guy 2: Why? I don't think so?
Guy 1: Because the dirt is all wet.
Me: :eek:

I am sitting in the rockpile with my BFF.
Guy behind me: There went the no hitter!
Girl: Whats a hit?
Me: :eek:

SAME guy and girl...like halfway through the game.
Girl: Are we the blue team or the white team?
Me: :eek:

That is just some of it...really. I could go on. That really upsets me actually.

Wow I dont know who I feel worse for, the guy because he has to put up with an air head like that, or the girl because she really is an airhead.

[Schroedog]

Haha this thread is awesome.

In high school biology everyone had to do a report and presentation on an animal. This girl in my class: "Hippopotamuses lay eggs"

Same girl in history class thought Pearl Harbor was in the 80's :eek:

[str8jacket]

Haha this thread is awesome.

In high school biology everyone had to do a report and presentation on an animal. This girl in my class: "Hippopotamuses lay eggs"

Same girl in history class thought Pearl Harbor was in the 80's :eek:

:jawdrop:...

[LordTrychon]

:jawdrop:...

I confuse the '80s with the '70s all the time.

*sigh*

[str8jacket]

I confuse the '80s with the '70s all the time.

*sigh*

Oh true that.

[RedRaptor]

Oh true that.

Psh...how do you mess up the Civil War with the 70's and 80's :goofy: Japan will never divide us again! :fight:

[str8jacket]

Psh...how do you mess up the Civil War with the 70's and 80's :goofy: Japan will never divide us again! :fight:

Or how about Prohibition in the 90s?

I sure wish Woodrow Wilson didnt punish Vietnam with the Treaty of Versailles.

[LordTrychon]

Or how about Prohibition in the 90s?

I sure wish Woodrow Wilson didnt punish Vietnam with the Treaty of Versailles.

Psh.

Prohibition of 'LT's in a jobsearch' Trumps them all.

:sad:

[str8jacket]

Psh.

Prohibition of 'LT's in a jobsearch' Trumps them all.

:sad:

Sell mile high magic!

[LordTrychon]

Sell mile high magic!

No... I'll be donating all that to the front office. :cheers: :salute:

[RedRaptor]

Or how about Prohibition in the 90s?

I sure wish Woodrow Wilson didnt punish Vietnam with the Treaty of Versailles.

Hey...just because Nixon put us into $12 Trillion dollars in debt and causing the Stock Market crash by buying the Louisiana Purchase doesn't mean you have to knock on Wilson. He DID free the slaves with the Declaration of Independence after all...If only Clinton hadn't been so eager to go after Saddam in Korea...*sigh*...:(

Wow...I wish I'd written a paper like this for my history teacher back in HS :laugh:

[str8jacket]

No... I'll be donating all that to the front office. :cheers: :salute:

Damn I was hoping I could buy some. I'm all out and need a fix.

[OrAnGe WiLk]

Without a doubt the dumbest thing I ever said

Mike Tyson just got out of prison, and my buddy got it on pay-per-view. So there's quite a few people there I don't really know. We start flipping through his old yearbook, waiting for the fight to start. We're laughing at people in there, remember so and so what a dork. So there's a pic of this guy that was known to be totally gay, flaming gay because it's a small town.

I say hey check out Tony what a fairy this guys such a phag.

Then a guy says, Hey man, that's my brother.
:eek:

[RedRaptor]

Damn I was hoping I could buy some. I'm all out and need a fix.

How do you take MHM anyway? :confused:

[str8jacket]

Without a doubt the dumbest thing I ever said

Mike Tyson just got out of prison, and my buddy got it on pay-per-view. So there's quite a few people there I don't really know. We start flipping through his old yearbook, waiting for the fight to start. We're laughing at people in there, remember so and so what a dork. So there's a pic of this guy that was known to be totally gay, flaming gay because it's a small town.

I say hey check out Tony what a fairy this guys such a phag.

Then a guy says, Hey man, that's my brother.
:eek:

:laugh:! Oh man thats good

[str8jacket]

How do you take MHM anyway? :confused:

Through the nose.

[RedRaptor]

Through the nose.

Huh...so I'm assuming that's why Marshall got fined for tossing all that "snow" around at fans after that TD...I don't think there's anything wrong with that though...I mean, its all natural anyway!

[jdubv724]

You play...too WIN THE GAME! - Herm Edwards

[Snapping Turtle]

Ok something else I remembered. This time its something I actually said...ok wait there are a couple now that I think of it. Yeaah.

So I was in the car in high school with my friend and her mom. They were giving me a ride home from somewhere and I for some reason started making fun of one of my teachers who was named Pat. And I said something along the lines of "Haha, I feel sorry for that guy because he has a unisex name! He is all manly and he has the wimpiest name ever!" and then her mom is like "Amanda's brother is named Pat you know." And im just like...:eek: silent the rest of the way home. Totally sucked. lol.

Another time my friend and I are watching the Rockies game...and they were showing the backs of the Rockies shirts and Todd Helton was standing so you couldn't see all of Tulo's back so part of the name was covered...and I seriously said, out loud: Who the hell is Lowitzki?? I meant it to. Then like a second later I cracked up because I realized how dumb it was.

But those arent all that funny and Im really tired so...woo.

[Skywalker]

Hey...just because Nixon put us into $12 Trillion dollars in debt and causing the Stock Market crash by buying the Louisiana Purchase doesn't mean you have to knock on Wilson. He DID free the slaves with the Declaration of Independence after all...If only Clinton hadn't been so eager to go after Saddam in Korea...*sigh*...:(

Wow...I wish I'd written a paper like this for my history teacher back in HS :laugh:

Right now in History we're learning about the Revolutionary War and such....and we have to write a report. I might plagerize and write a report like this. Thanks for the idea. :laugh:

[LordTrychon]

Ok something else I remembered. This time its something I actually said...ok wait there are a couple now that I think of it. Yeaah.

So I was in the car in high school with my friend and her mom. They were giving me a ride home from somewhere and I for some reason started making fun of one of my teachers who was named Pat. And I said something along the lines of "Haha, I feel sorry for that guy because he has a unisex name! He is all manly and he has the wimpiest name ever!" and then her mom is like "Amanda's brother is named Pat you know." And im just like...:eek: silent the rest of the way home. Totally sucked. lol.

Another time my friend and I are watching the Rockies game...and they were showing the backs of the Rockies shirts and Todd Helton was standing so you couldn't see all of Tulo's back so part of the name was covered...and I seriously said, out loud: Who the hell is Lowitzki?? I meant it to. Then like a second later I cracked up because I realized how dumb it was.

But those arent all that funny and Im really tired so...woo.

That reminds me...

I was dating a girl named Amanda...

We weren't serious yet... and we joked around alot...

She told me she couldn't see herself marrying me because "Amanda ______" was a horrible name.

I straightfaced her and said... "That's my stepmom's name."

:laugh:

[Southstander]

My friends and I where driving to a wrestling show, and three of them are from Nigera, and some how we got on the subject of sextape of Screech from Saved by the Bell. My Response was he is the last person from that show I'd like to she a sextape of, and my friend Scott said "Yeah I know, I'd even rather see the black chick them him.:eek: He didn't mean it the way it came out but it is still funny.


My other friend Renee and I where at Starbuck and while we where inline I asked her if she was getting a med or a large, and her response was "That's not what they are called, they don't speak english here". The Mexican gal behind the counter gave her the dirtiest look.

[Shanahanigans]

I'm sad to say it but I was watching the Olympics and during one of the running events our guy finished with Silver. He ran up to the camera with his index fingers raised and said "Wooh yeah, number one baby!" :doh:

The funniest one was told to me by a friend. He was in health class and the professor was talking about how glucose is a component of semen. A girl blurted out "But it doesn't taste sweet." Then turned red, shrank back into her seat as everyone laughed and dropped the class.

[str8jacket]

If it werent for my horse I wouldnt have spent that year in college.

Think about that for a second.

[Anikai]

"It is wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago"
- Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice-President

"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life."
- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a federal anti-smoking campaign.

"I have opinions of my own --strong opinions-- but I don't always agree with them."
-George Bush

"The word 'genius' isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."
-Joe Theisman, quarterback and sports analyst

You can't just let nature run wild.
-- Wally Hickel, former governor of Alaska

[Southstander]

My Best friends Mom said "Electric cars will never work, the extention cords will get all tangled up."


"A Leporad can change his stripes". Vice President Al Gore


All of the Mets’ road wins against Los Angeles this year have been at Dodger Stadium. Raplh Kinner

Well, I used to look like this when I was young and now I still do.

Always go to other people’s funerals, otherwise they won’t come to yours.

The other teams could make trouble for us if they win.

It was pretty good. Even the music was nice
~~said after attending an opera.

Congratulations on breaking my record. I always thought the record would stand until it was broken. Yogi Berra

*"Did you write the words, or the lyrics?" - Bruce Forsyth

*"Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours" - Yogi Berra

*"If you could live forever, would you want to, and why?" answer, "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would
not live forever." - Miss Alabama 1994

*"Politics gives guys so much power that they tend to behave badly around women. And I hope I never get into that." - Bill Clinton

" I'm a 4-wheel-drive pickup type of guy. So is my wife." - Mike Greenwell, Baseball player

*"I think there is a world market for maybe five computers." - Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943

'No one will need more than 637Kb of memory for a personal computer' - Bill Gates

[RedRaptor]

Just heard a good one in the USC/Oregon State game...

"The Trojans are falling into the Beavers' trap!"

Couldn't stop laughing :laugh:

[Bronco_Hyde]

Less than a month ago I saw a bumper sticker I thought was funny. It was a take on the cliche "Guns don't kill people . . . . ." stuff. It said "Guns don't kill people, gaping holes in vital organs kill people".

So a few days later I was talking to a friend I hadn't seen in awhile, and I don't know why it came up, but I said it to her, "Guns don't kill people, gaping holes in vital organs kill people" . . . . only to find out that less than 3 months ago, her fiance had been shot and killed :eek:

[Southstander]

Less than a month ago I saw a bumper sticker I thought was funny. It was a take on the cliche "Guns don't kill people . . . . ." stuff. It said "Guns don't kill people, gaping holes in vital organs kill people".

So a few days later I was talking to a friend I hadn't seen in awhile, and I don't know why it came up, but I said it to her, "Guns don't kill people, gaping holes in vital organs kill people" . . . . only to find out that less than 3 months ago, her fiance had been shot and killed :eek:

OMG!!! LOL!!!!

[Anikai]

Less than a month ago I saw a bumper sticker I thought was funny. It was a take on the cliche "Guns don't kill people . . . . ." stuff. It said "Guns don't kill people, gaping holes in vital organs kill people".

So a few days later I was talking to a friend I hadn't seen in awhile, and I don't know why it came up, but I said it to her, "Guns don't kill people, gaping holes in vital organs kill people" . . . . only to find out that less than 3 months ago, her fiance had been shot and killed :eek:
:laugh::laugh::laugh: thats pretty f'd up.

[Bronco_Hyde]

:laugh::laugh::laugh: thats pretty f'd up.

Yeah, that was not a fun experience. I had absolutely no inkling . . . didn't even know she was engaged. Apparently the guy had been shot by his ex-wife.

Makes me wonder what dumb thing he said:confused:

[Legendary30]

I was at the mall around the holidays about 2 years ago. I was looking at some sports stuff and some 18-19 year old guy in a Marines shirt came up to me and introduced himself as Private (forget his last name) and started to ask me where I could see myself in the next four years. I smiled and told him that I could see myself in colorado.

He talked a bit about the benifits and then he told me that the Marines were paying him 4,000 bucks a month because he was a sniper that was on call and had to be ready at a moments notice.:confused:

He asked me to take his card incase I thought I'd be interested in something like that.

I asked him "How long have you been in?"

He said "3 months, I just graduated boot camp last friday"

I congratulated him on his graduation and gave him some advice......

I said (I was cool about it): "I wish you the best of luck during your time, but next time you approach someone with your 4,000 a month/sniper pitch, make sure the guy isn't a Sergeant who has been in for 5 years."

He thought for a second and his eyes got big and mouth dropped open. He was embarassed as hell.
All he said.... " Aye, Sergeant" and walked away.

:laugh:

[str8jacket]

I was at the mall around the holidays about 2 years ago. I was looking at some sports stuff and some 18-19 year old guy in a Marines shirt came up to me and introduced himself as Private (forget his last name) and started to ask me where I could see myself in the next four years. I smiled and told him that I could see myself in colorado.

He talked a bit about the benifits and then he told me that the Marines were paying him 4,000 bucks a month because he was a sniper that was on call and had to be ready at a moments notice.:confused:

He asked me to take his card incase I thought I'd be interested in something like that.

I asked him "How long have you been in?"

He said "3 months, I just graduated boot camp last friday"

I congratulated him on his graduation and gave him some advice......

I said (I was cool about it): "I wish you the best of luck during your time, but next time you approach someone with your 4,000 a month/sniper pitch, make sure the guy isn't a Sergeant who has been in for 5 years."

He thought for a second and his eyes got big and mouth dropped open. He was embarassed as hell.
All he said.... " Aye, Sergeant" and walked away.

:laugh:

Ouch man......:laugh:

[Tonyshucraft]

" I know about foreign policy because I can see Russia from my backyard."

-Sarah Palin:duh::brick:

"I hope she doesn't let people enter that way."

"Maybe she can see out of her ass?"

"Putin is wanting to get her from behind but she has eyes on the back.....of the lower half of her body"

All thought I have had for jokes based on that quote. I feel one of them is stupid enough.

[Southstander]

Once again that is not what she said. I post the transcript of the interview already.

[Bronco_Hyde]

"I hope she doesn't let people enter that way."

"Maybe she can see out of her ass?"

"Putin is wanting to get her from behind but she has eyes on the back.....of the lower half of her body"

All thought I have had for jokes based on that quote. I feel one of them is stupid enough.

We can thank SNL and late night talk shows for that garbage. People need to show a little respect for the lady. It's not like she's a vegas showgirl, she's a Governor of the largest state in the union.

[Peanut]

We can thank SNL and late night talk shows for that garbage. People need to show a little respect for the lady. It's not like she's a vegas showgirl, she's a Governor of the largest state in the union.

That just earned you a CP from me. :salute:

[Southstander]

I'd give you one to if I had any to give. Sad thing is Playboy has offered to money to pose.