PDA

View Full Version : None tonight . . .


topscribe
05-08-2006, 07:34 AM
I don't know where I found this. -ts


I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ
so much. And I have never figured out why men think with their head and
women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into
bed. The passion starts to heat up, when she eventually said "I don't
feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!" So she says the words that every
husband on the planet dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with
my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical
needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you
just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to
happen that night, I went to sleep...

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time
with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big,
big department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one
to take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to
compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit.

We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of
diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have
thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was
testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't
even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I
said, "That's fine, honey."

She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.

Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is
all, Dear. Let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't
feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled
WHAT?!

I then said "Honey, I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.
You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me
to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this
look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love
me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently nothing's happening tonight, either . . .

-----

Emancipator
05-08-2006, 07:42 AM
:laugh:
:laugh:
Really made me laugh! Don't think I'll be trying that though. Their house wouldn't be the only place nothing is happening. ;)

x_predator89
05-08-2006, 08:23 AM
That is HILARIOUS!!! :salute:

tpryce93
05-08-2006, 03:59 PM
hmmm. glad that's never happened to me. but i'm only 14 so i'm assuming it will. hopefully later rather then sooner.

Saddletramp
05-08-2006, 04:22 PM
I don't know where I found this. -ts


I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ
so much. And I have never figured out why men think with their head and
women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into
bed. The passion starts to heat up, when she eventually said "I don't
feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!" So she says the words that every
husband on the planet dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with
my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical
needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you
just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to
happen that night, I went to sleep...

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time
with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big,
big department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one
to take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to
compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit.

We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of
diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have
thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was
testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't
even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I
said, "That's fine, honey."

She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.

Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is
all, Dear. Let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't
feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled
WHAT?!

I then said "Honey, I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.
You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me
to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this
look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love
me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently nothing's happening tonight, either . . .

-----
Another absolute priceless post. I would love to be able to try this just once. Regardless of the consequences.

Saddletramp
05-08-2006, 04:25 PM
hmmm. glad that's never happened to me. but i'm only 14 so i'm assuming it will. hopefully later rather then sooner.
It will trust us OLD married and formerly married men.

tpryce93
05-08-2006, 04:29 PM
It will trust us OLD married and formerly married men.
well that's reassuring :ugh:

Saddletramp
05-08-2006, 04:48 PM
well that's reassuring :ugh:
sorry kid just a fact of life. dont mean to turn off women. Of course if I do I am willing to bet a man would do the same. Do not know for sure just an uneducated guess. I am not speaking from experience.