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Blond Joke

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  • dandaman23
    Originally posted by hugelynchfan
    11. Bumper sticker of the year: "If you can read this, thank a teacher...and since it's in English, thank a veteran.
    I like that one...

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  • hugelynchfan
    1. I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it. So I said "Implants?" She hit me.

    2. How come we choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?

    3. A good friend will come and bail you out of jail ... but, a true
    friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn ... that was fun!"

    4. I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting clothing. If I had any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!

    5. When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping," now I just "chunky dunk."

    6. Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference.

    7. Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could
    simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over?

    8. Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they
    can in prison?

    9. Wouldn't you know it ... Brain cells come and brain cells go, but
    FAT cells live forever.

    10. Why do I have to swear on the Bible in court when the Ten
    Commandments cannot be displayed in a federal building?

    11. Bumper sticker of the year: "If you can read this, thank a teacher...and since it's in English, thank a veteran.

    Leave a comment:

  • dandaman23
    I have a few....Only there Mama Jokes though...

    Yo mama so fat she got busted by the Police for having 200 pounds of CRACK!

    Yo mama is like a Big Mac...Full of fat and only worth a buck!

    What is the difference between yo mama and the Titanic?
    Yo mama floats the Titanic sinks...

    Here is another one..

    One day, a kid gets onto the city bus, the kid is about 10 years old, and he sits right behind the bus driver, and he is annoying the bus driver really bad, the kid keeps going "If my mom and my dad were elephants, then I would be a baby elephant" And he keeps on saying all these animals...So then the bus driver, who by now is very pissed and annoyed, says "Hey kid if your mom was a prostitute and your dad was a drunk then what would you be?" And the kid replied, well Mr. I would be a bus driver...LMAO..Thats a good one...

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  • Zmabe
    pretty good joke, pretty good.

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  • frenchfan
    A guy and a blonde just walking in a street... The guy stops and says "Hey ! look at this dead bird !"
    The blonde looks at the sky and says "Where ?"

    I hope OB will bite me for that one ROFL..

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  • hugelynchfan
    started a topic Blond Joke

    Blond Joke


    It's fun to cook for Bob. Today I made angel food cake. The recipe said beat 12 eggs separately. The neighbors were nice enough to loan me some extra bowls.

    Bob wanted fruit salad for supper. The recipe said serve without
    dressing. So I didn't dress. What a surprise when Bob brought a
    friend home for supper.

    A good day for rice. The recipe said wash thoroughly before
    steaming the rice. It seemed kind of silly but I took a bath. I can't say it improved the rice any.

    Today Bob asked for salad again. I tried a new recipe. It said
    prepare ingredients, then toss on a bed of lettuce one hour before serving. Which is what led up to Bob asking me why I was rolling around in the garden.

    I found an easy recipe for cookies. It said put all ingredients in
    bowl and beat it.There must have been something wrong with this recipe. When I got back, everything was the same as when I left.

    Bob did the shopping today and brought home a chicken. He asked me to dress it for Sunday (oh boy). For some reason Bob keeps counting to ten before talking.

    Bob's folks came to dinner. I wanted to serve roast. All I could
    find was hamburger. Suddenly I had a flash of genius. I put the hamburger in the oven and set the controls for roast. It still came out hamburger, much to my disappointment.

    This has been a very exciting week. I am eager for tomorrow to come so I can try out a new recipe on Bob. If we could just get a bigger oven I would like to surprise him with Chocolate Moose.