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Best Burns/ putdowns/ comebacks.

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  • Best Burns/ putdowns/ comebacks.

    Okay, simple concept, I only ask that you dont direct them to specific people on the boards, this is simply a place to learn the wittiest and snappiest phrases you can use in your daily life.

    (Unfortunately, I cannot be responsible for any bodily injury as a result of you using these phrases)

    So heres a good one I actually used, my sister was driving me back from college and in her car she had her music on and started singing

    So I said "Who sings this song"


    "Ya ya, lets keep it that way."

    Yes I stole it from family guy! One of my favorite all time family guy scenes and I can never find it on youtube.


    Have at it!
    A book I wrote

  • #2
    "Oh yeah, well I just had sex with your wife"!!!!!!!


    • #3
      My wife asked me if I bought her a diamond for Christmas one time and I told her "what I got you could become a diamond if it was put under tremendous pressure for a million years or so, so yeah I guess I did"


      • #4
        Originally posted by Bronco51 View Post
        "Oh yeah, well I just had sex with your wife"!!!!!!!
        That is the comeback Phillip Rivers tells his Dad all the time.


        • #5
          I was playing World of Warcraft one time, and I was participating in a BattleGround. Things were kinda slow, we were just standing around, so a discussion ensued. Someone spouted off something about how "Nobody who plays WoW has ever even seen a woman, or ever had sex."

          Me: "That's not true. I know plenty of people who play WoW and have sex. Myself included."

          Someone else: (a few moments later) "Haha probably some fat (rhymes with witch)."

          Me: "Don't talk about your mother like that, young man."

          It just came out of nowhere, it was awesome.
          I adopted Peanut!!!
          Adopted by *Atwater*!!!

          I'm UNDEFEATED at Broncos games!!!!

          12/06/09 @ Kansas City: W 44-13



          • #6
            Couple years ago my family was out somewhere and I was giving my younger brother crap. So my mom says "what have I told you about picking on your brother?". And without missing a beat I just say "Do it often". She didnt say anything. She was too busy laughing.
            LET 'ER BUCK!!!
            Adopted by: Peanut, Chazoe60, CanDB, RealBronco and JakeNbake


            • #7
              "Your Mom goes to college". I crack up everytime i hear that line.


              • #8


                • #9
                  “Is that your face, or is a baboon trying to climb down your neck face first?”


                  • #10
                    This fat guy was talking trash during one of our football games awhile back. He said something about me being skinny and how he would snap me in half. I told him:

                    "Look at you! You don't even have a neck! If I wanted to choke you I'd have to punch you in the chest"


                    • #11
                      The jerk store called and their all out of you
                      Last edited by kmcgough25; 01-09-2009, 02:07 PM.
                      My 2011 adopted poster.........and and

                      Adopted by: and


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by kmcgough25 View Post
                        The jerk store called nad their all out of you
                        The ocean called they said they're all out of shrimp

                        I love Seinfeld


                        • #13
                          I'm surprised no one told me about your accident.....


                          • #14
                            I don't remember who, but it wa son these boards...

                            ... "I'm surprised your mom didn't just swallow you." I saw that and fell of my rocker!!!!!
                            *2011 BCMB Locker Room Division I League Champion*
                            *Voted; 2013 & 2015 BCMBA's Scariest Mod*
                            *Voted; 2014 BCMBA's Best Avi and Most Friendly*


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by chazoe60 View Post
                              The ocean called they said they're all out of shrimp

                              I love Seinfeld
                              Seinfeld was one of the all time best!!!! Kramer was my main man, but I loved most of the cast.

                              This could lead to another fun thread.....after all, I need a break from GD and the "sometimes" repetitive nature of that place....:hammer: