Best Burns/ putdowns/ comebacks.

[CTM]

Okay, simple concept, I only ask that you dont direct them to specific people on the boards, this is simply a place to learn the wittiest and snappiest phrases you can use in your daily life.

(Unfortunately, I cannot be responsible for any bodily injury as a result of you using these phrases)


So heres a good one I actually used, my sister was driving me back from college and in her car she had her music on and started singing

So I said "Who sings this song"

"OneRepublic"

"Ya ya, lets keep it that way."

Yes I stole it from family guy! One of my favorite all time family guy scenes and I can never find it on youtube.

Anyway

Have at it!

[Bronco51]

"Oh yeah, well I just had sex with your wife"!!!!!!!

[chazoe60]

My wife asked me if I bought her a diamond for Christmas one time and I told her "what I got you could become a diamond if it was put under tremendous pressure for a million years or so, so yeah I guess I did"

[chazoe60]

"Oh yeah, well I just had sex with your wife"!!!!!!!

That is the comeback Phillip Rivers tells his Dad all the time.

[osubroncos86]

I was playing World of Warcraft one time, and I was participating in a BattleGround. Things were kinda slow, we were just standing around, so a discussion ensued. Someone spouted off something about how "Nobody who plays WoW has ever even seen a woman, or ever had sex."

Me: "That's not true. I know plenty of people who play WoW and have sex. Myself included."

Someone else: (a few moments later) "Haha probably some fat (rhymes with witch)."

Me: "Don't talk about your mother like that, young man."

It just came out of nowhere, it was awesome.

[HurricaneDovs]

Couple years ago my family was out somewhere and I was giving my younger brother crap. So my mom says "what have I told you about picking on your brother?". And without missing a beat I just say "Do it often". She didnt say anything. She was too busy laughing.

[The Hamburgler]

"Your Mom goes to college". I crack up everytime i hear that line.

[Legendary30]

[PowderAddict]

“Is that your face, or is a baboon trying to climb down your neck face first?”

[Legendary30]

This fat guy was talking trash during one of our football games awhile back. He said something about me being skinny and how he would snap me in half. I told him:

"Look at you! You don't even have a neck! If I wanted to choke you I'd have to punch you in the chest"

[kmcgough25]

The jerk store called and their all out of you

[chazoe60]

The jerk store called nad their all out of you

The ocean called they said they're all out of shrimp

I love Seinfeld

[CanDB]

I'm surprised no one told me about your accident.....

[ebsoria]

I don't remember who, but it wa son these boards...


... "I'm surprised your mom didn't just swallow you." I saw that and fell of my rocker!!!!!

[CanDB]

The ocean called they said they're all out of shrimp

I love Seinfeld

Seinfeld was one of the all time best!!!! Kramer was my main man, but I loved most of the cast.

This could lead to another fun thread.....after all, I need a break from GD and the "sometimes" repetitive nature of that place....:hammer: