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  • How would you take this?

    My wife and I have spent several months looking for a house because we're basically less than 20 days away from being homeless. We found a house and it was a wierd out of the blue thing it just happened to be someone we've known for years and go to church with. They showed us the house they were really enthused about the fact that we were looking at it now today they told us they'd email us the application and that since they just put it in the paper today they want to give anyone who's interested a chance to apply as well before they decide.


    To me that basically says, I don't feel comfortable with you so I'm going to wait and see if something better comes along....I'm fine if they don't end up renting it to me but if they really didn't want to rent it to us you'd think they would just come right out and say it knowing full and well we have to be out of here on the 21st. I'm basicly at this point just going back to looking which is frustrating because since the market bottomed out here no one is buying houses anymore everyone is choosing to rent and there are no houses or apartments anywhere.
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  • #2
    Originally posted by Freyaka View Post
    My wife and I have spent several months looking for a house because we're basically less than 20 days away from being homeless. We found a house and it was a wierd out of the blue thing it just happened to be someone we've known for years and go to church with. They showed us the house they were really enthused about the fact that we were looking at it now today they told us they'd email us the application and that since they just put it in the paper today they want to give anyone who's interested a chance to apply as well before they decide.


    To me that basically says, I don't feel comfortable with you so I'm going to wait and see if something better comes along....I'm fine if they don't end up renting it to me but if they really didn't want to rent it to us you'd think they would just come right out and say it knowing full and well we have to be out of here on the 21st. I'm basicly at this point just going back to looking which is frustrating because since the market bottomed out here no one is buying houses anymore everyone is choosing to rent and there are no houses or apartments anywhere.
    If someone I knew for years at Church had said that to me, I'd take it the same way you did.

    "...What?"
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    • #3
      Originally posted by Freyaka View Post
      My wife and I have spent several months looking for a house because we're basically less than 20 days away from being homeless. We found a house and it was a wierd out of the blue thing it just happened to be someone we've known for years and go to church with. They showed us the house they were really enthused about the fact that we were looking at it now today they told us they'd email us the application and that since they just put it in the paper today they want to give anyone who's interested a chance to apply as well before they decide.


      To me that basically says, I don't feel comfortable with you so I'm going to wait and see if something better comes along....I'm fine if they don't end up renting it to me but if they really didn't want to rent it to us you'd think they would just come right out and say it knowing full and well we have to be out of here on the 21st. I'm basicly at this point just going back to looking which is frustrating because since the market bottomed out here no one is buying houses anymore everyone is choosing to rent and there are no houses or apartments anywhere.

      I can understand that maybe they want to help you guys because you are in a bind. But I can also see how a land lord/renter situation could make things awkward at church if something goes wrong with the house or a money situation comes up. Like renting to your family. Money/ property is a touchy subject when it comes to friends and family.
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      • #4
        Originally posted by Legendary30 View Post
        I can understand that maybe they want to help you guys because you are in a bind. But I can also see how a land lord/renter situation could make things awkward at church if something goes wrong with the house or a money situation comes up. Like renting to your family. Money/ property is a touchy subject when it comes to friends and family.
        And I understand that I really do but seriously, in my mind if you really don't want me renting from you don't sugarcoat it and make it sound like you might just tell me no so I can move on to something else. I'm on a freaking time crunch. Yea I filed bankruptcy and that doesn't look the greatest BUT it wasn't a character thing it was a I lost my job for 6 months and during that 6 month span sally mae started garnishing most of my wife's checks leaving us with absolutly nothing. When I finally did get a job it was for $7 less an hour than I'd been making previously. It was a case of living within our means and having the economy tank out like so many others have had happen recently.

        I get their side of things but it's a crappy way of treating someone you know. Yes or no...simple as that.
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        • #5
          Originally posted by Freyaka View Post
          And I understand that I really do but seriously, in my mind if you really don't want me renting from you don't sugarcoat it and make it sound like you might just tell me no so I can move on to something else. I'm on a freaking time crunch. Yea I filed bankruptcy and that doesn't look the greatest BUT it wasn't a character thing it was a I lost my job for 6 months and during that 6 month span sally mae started garnishing most of my wife's checks leaving us with absolutly nothing. When I finally did get a job it was for $7 less an hour than I'd been making previously. It was a case of living within our means and having the economy tank out like so many others have had happen recently.

          I get their side of things but it's a crappy way of treating someone you know. Yes or no...simple as that.
          I agree with you. Its your life you are talking about and you are desperate. They are trying to be all cautious and careful with this choice and you cant afford to be playing any games. They should let you know straight up.

          Considering this, you should call them and tell them that you need to know in the next few days. Like a job application, they say they will call you, you gotta follow up with them or they might forget about you.
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          • #6
            Originally posted by Legendary30 View Post
            I agree with you. Its your life you are talking about and you are desperate. They are trying to be all cautious and careful with this choice and you cant afford to be playing any games. They should let you know straight up.

            Considering this, you should call them and tell them that you need to know in the next few days. Like a job application, they say they will call you, you gotta follow up with them or they might forget about you.
            Well our plan is if we haven't heard by Friday we'll call them and if they can't give us an answer by then it's unfortunately time to try and cram 4 people into a 2 bedroom apartment (go from 1700sqft to 700...) sad thing is if we wait around too long that may not be an option. It's unreal when you can't even find apartments for rent much less houses...
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            • #7
              They may simply want to make certain they get the best deal they can. While they're trying to help you out and they want to help you out, they also need to maximize their investment and make sure they get the best renters as well as the best rent.

              They offered you an opportunity to get the apartment, nothing more. They have a right to look out for their own interests too.

              I wouldn't read into it. They obviously do want to help you and they obviously like you, but money's tight in this economy. I can't blame someone for wanting to make sure they get fair value for their property. If they can help a friend while also doing that, that's bonus.

              That's probably how they feel about it. I can see that side of things personally. My family owns several places that we've rented out over the years. Sometimes to friends, sometimes not.

              We want to be nice to people and there are people we like, but we have to get a good value for the property as well.

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              • #8
                Originally posted by Alastor View Post
                They may simply want to make certain they get the best deal they can. While they're trying to help you out and they want to help you out, they also need to maximize their investment and make sure they get the best renters as well as the best rent.

                They offered you an opportunity to get the apartment, nothing more. They have a right to look out for their own interests too.

                I wouldn't read into it. They obviously do want to help you and they obviously like you, but money's tight in this economy. I can't blame someone for wanting to make sure they get fair value for their property. If they can help a friend while also doing that, that's bonus.

                That's probably how they feel about it. I can see that side of things personally. My family owns several places that we've rented out over the years. Sometimes to friends, sometimes not.

                We want to be nice to people and there are people we like, but we have to get a good value for the property as well.

                Yea and I get that I dunno...it's frustrating. My wife and I are beyond stressed out at this point it's something I never want to deal with again after this. It tears me up not knowing were I'm going to live next month and that the 21st I could come home from work with my stuff on the curb. It's just an odd deal they went from really excited to all standoffish like they talked to someone who didn't have the nicest things to say. It was almost like it was a burden to be talking to me today when I called here which was the opposite of the other day when all the sudden we realized that this random landlord we called just happened to be someone we've known awhile.
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                • #9
                  Originally posted by Freyaka View Post
                  My wife and I have spent several months looking for a house because we're basically less than 20 days away from being homeless. We found a house and it was a wierd out of the blue thing it just happened to be someone we've known for years and go to church with. They showed us the house they were really enthused about the fact that we were looking at it now today they told us they'd email us the application and that since they just put it in the paper today they want to give anyone who's interested a chance to apply as well before they decide.


                  To me that basically says, I don't feel comfortable with you so I'm going to wait and see if something better comes along....I'm fine if they don't end up renting it to me but if they really didn't want to rent it to us you'd think they would just come right out and say it knowing full and well we have to be out of here on the 21st. I'm basicly at this point just going back to looking which is frustrating because since the market bottomed out here no one is buying houses anymore everyone is choosing to rent and there are no houses or apartments anywhere.
                  As long as your ap is in first, and you qualifiy, legally they can't turn you down, so hurry up, fill it out, and get it back to them.

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by jetrazor74 View Post
                    As long as your ap is in first, and you qualifiy, legally they can't turn you down, so hurry up, fill it out, and get it back to them.
                    Then how do you prove they got your ap first?

                    But then that opens all kinda of other uncomfortable issues in seeing them at church on a weekly basis.
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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by ebsoria View Post
                      Then how do you prove they got your ap first?

                      But then that opens all kinda of other uncomfortable issues in seeing them at church on a weekly basis.
                      That's true... but they are emailing the app, so I'm guessing they'll email to everyone, so date and time sent would be on there.

                      I would assume that the app has a place for date, on it, but I don't know.

                      I just know that the 'housing fairness' laws basically say that you have to take the first qualified applicant, I think.... I could be wrong, but if you're qualified, then why wouldn't you take the person? On what other basis could you possibly choose?

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                      • #12
                        I would encourage you to remember where your frustration lies.

                        When it comes to relationships with church members I try to remember that I shouldn't expect more from them than I would somebody I don't know in a given situation.

                        Remember, you are in a difficult situation. Try not to let your frustration get directed at them.

                        Remember 70 times 7!........

                        Ultimately, if you are a person of faith, you believe God is the One who will take care of you!
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                        Thank you to my grandfather jetrazor for being a veteran of the armed forces!

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by jetrazor74 View Post
                          As long as your ap is in first, and you qualifiy, legally they can't turn you down, so hurry up, fill it out, and get it back to them.
                          well they can find a reason to say we don't qualify, our credit is crap from filing bankruptcy.
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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by jetrazor74 View Post
                            That's true... but they are emailing the app, so I'm guessing they'll email to everyone, so date and time sent would be on there.

                            I would assume that the app has a place for date, on it, but I don't know.

                            I just know that the 'housing fairness' laws basically say that you have to take the first qualified applicant, I think.... I could be wrong, but if you're qualified, then why wouldn't you take the person? On what other basis could you possibly choose?
                            they emailed it to us we printed it out and droped it in their mailbox.
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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Al Wilson 4 Mayor View Post
                              I would encourage you to remember where your frustration lies.

                              When it comes to relationships with church members I try to remember that I shouldn't expect more from them than I would somebody I don't know in a given situation.

                              Remember, you are in a difficult situation. Try not to let your frustration get directed at them.

                              Remember 70 times 7!........

                              Ultimately, if you are a person of faith, you believe God is the One who will take care of you!
                              It's not that I'm frustrated at them for not giving me the house, it's that they realize I don't have time to screw around and need a yes or no answer. Regardless I'm going out tomorrow afternoon and hunting for apartments and if I don't hear from them friday the plan is to call them and then if they can't give me a answer then just say thanks for your time and rent an apartment (which I have no desire to do because I can only find 2 bedrooms for 4 people and you have to lock into a year lease....) but I gotta keep a roof over my kids heads and I don't really like the idea of comming home from work to find my stuff sitting on the curb.
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