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  • #31
    TGIF a 4

    A plane is on its way to Montreal when a blonde
    in Economy Class gets up and moves to the First
    Class section and sits down.The flight attendant
    watches her do this and asks to see her ticket.
    She then tells the blonde that she paid for
    Economy and that she will have to sit in the back.
    The blonde replies "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful,
    I'm going to Montreal and I'm staying right here!".
    The flight attendant goes into the ****pit and
    tells the pilot and copilot that there is some blonde
    bimbo sitting in First Class that belongs in Economy
    and won't move back to her seat. The copilot goes
    back to the explain that because she only paid for
    Economy she will have to leave and return to her seat.
    The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm
    going to Montreal and I'm staying right here!"
    The copilot tells the pilot that he probably should have
    the police waiting when they land to arrest
    this blonde woman that won't listen to reason. The
    pilot says "I'll handle this. I'm married to a blonde.
    I have learned to speak 'blonde'". He goes back to the
    blonde, whispers in her ear,and without hesitation, she
    gets up and moves back to her seat in the Economy
    section.The flight attendant and copilot are amazed and
    asked him what he said to make her move without
    any fuss.
    "I told her First Class isn't going to Montreal."

    Comment


    • #32
      Tom calls in to work and says " Hey Boss, I cant make it in to work today. I've got a terrible headache and my stomach is really hurting. I just cant make it.

      The Boss tells him "Tom, I really need you here today. You've got to find a way to feel better. When I feel like that I just have sex with my wife. Im not sure why, but it always seems to make me feel better and I'm able to make it to work. You should try that."

      Two hours later Tom calls back "Boss, I did what you said and you were right. I feel great, I'll be at work soon! Oh and by the way Boss, you have a nice house."



      Quick: I haven't had my ass whipped in a while. Probably been since like...1911?
      Sugar Ray: Yeah, thats when you were born and the doctor slapped you on the ass.
      Quick: Yes, thats the last ass whipping I recall. And I'm looking for him.

      Comment


      • #33
        LOL 5


        two jokes for you


        Q: what job do blondes have at an M&M factory?

        A: proofreading


        Q: how do blonde brain cells die?

        A: alone


        If you take what I have to say seriously, then I'm embarrassed for you.

        Comment


        • #34
          a broncos fan, a buccs fan, and a kc fan are driving in a car together. they are speeding and get pulled over by the cops. the cop is a female, so the brnc fan says, "please let us go, this is my dads car and he will kill me!" the cop smirks and says "ok, ill measure your ****s and if they add up to 20 inches, you can go." so the denver fan shows his, and its 10 inches. the buccs fan shows his, and its 9 inches. the kc fan shows his and its 1 inch. the cop lets them go and on the way home, the denver fan says, "your lucky i have a 10 inch ****." the buccs fan says "your lucky i have a 9 inch ****." the kc fan says, "your lucky i have a boner!"
          In Seal Beach, takedown wins it and take out is king.

          Comment


          • #35
            Raider Hater

            Bronco Vs Raiders

            On a tour California, the Pope took a couple of days off to visit the coast for some sightseeing. He was cruising along the beach in the Pope-Mobile when there was a frantic commotion just off shore. A helpless man, wearing a Black&Silver RAIDER'S jersey, was struggling frantically to free himself from the jaws of a 25-foot shark. As the Pope watched, horrified, a speedboat came
            racing up with three men wearing Denver Broncos jerseys. One quickly fired a harpoon into the sharks' side. The other two reached out and pulled the bleeding, semiconscious Raider fan from the water. Then using long clubs, the three beat the shark to death and hauled it, too, into the boat.

            Immediately, the Pope shouted and summoned them to the beach. "I give you my blessing for your brave actions," he said. "I have been told about there being bad blood between Broncos and Raiders but now I have seen with my own eyes that this is not true."

            As the Pope drove off, the harpooner asked his buddies "Who was that?"

            "It was the Pope", one replied. "He is in direct contact with God and has
            access to all of God's wisdom."

            "Well," the harpooner said, "he may have access to God's wisdom, but he doesn't know jack about shark fishing. Is the bait holding up O.K., or do we need to get another one?"
            Hillis will be the best full back in the league by the end of the year!!!!!!!!!

            Comment


            • #36
              One day there was an old man sitting on his porch when a kid about 15 walked by. The kid had duct tape, the old man asked hey there what are you going to do with that duct tape the boy said im goin to go get me some ducks the old man then said you cant get no ducks with duct tape. A few hours later the boy came back with a duck. The next day the boy walked by with some chicken wire the old man asked what are you goin to do with that chicken wire the boy replies well im goin to get me some chickens the old man says you cant get no chickens with chicken wire sure enough a few hours later he walks by with a chicken. The next day the boy went by with some ***** willow the old man looked at the boy and said I am coming with you!!!

              Comment


              • #37
                Originally posted by Chubs_323
                thats's good, 5

                okay, so there is this magic mirror in this old house that makes you disappear when you tell a lie while looking into it.

                So, a brunette goes up to it and says, "I'm the most beutiful girl in the world!" and "POOF" she disappears.

                Next, a redhead goes up to the mirror and says, "I'm the smartest girl in the world!" and "POOF" she disappears.

                Finally, a blonde goes up to the mirror and says, "I think..." and "POOF" she disappears.
                i liked that :p
                I'm Such A Lady

                Comment


                • #38
                  Originally posted by JoviBronco
                  TGIF a 4

                  A plane is on its way to Montreal when a blonde
                  in Economy Class gets up and moves to the First
                  Class section and sits down.The flight attendant
                  watches her do this and asks to see her ticket.
                  She then tells the blonde that she paid for
                  Economy and that she will have to sit in the back.
                  The blonde replies "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful,
                  I'm going to Montreal and I'm staying right here!".
                  The flight attendant goes into the ****pit and
                  tells the pilot and copilot that there is some blonde
                  bimbo sitting in First Class that belongs in Economy
                  and won't move back to her seat. The copilot goes
                  back to the explain that because she only paid for
                  Economy she will have to leave and return to her seat.
                  The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm
                  going to Montreal and I'm staying right here!"
                  The copilot tells the pilot that he probably should have
                  the police waiting when they land to arrest
                  this blonde woman that won't listen to reason. The
                  pilot says "I'll handle this. I'm married to a blonde.
                  I have learned to speak 'blonde'". He goes back to the
                  blonde, whispers in her ear,and without hesitation, she
                  gets up and moves back to her seat in the Economy
                  section.The flight attendant and copilot are amazed and
                  asked him what he said to make her move without
                  any fuss.
                  "I told her First Class isn't going to Montreal."
                  now that's what you call funny i'll give that a 5
                  I'm Such A Lady

                  Comment


                  • #39
                    Originally posted by thesaint
                    Tom calls in to work and says " Hey Boss, I cant make it in to work today. I've got a terrible headache and my stomach is really hurting. I just cant make it.

                    The Boss tells him "Tom, I really need you here today. You've got to find a way to feel better. When I feel like that I just have sex with my wife. Im not sure why, but it always seems to make me feel better and I'm able to make it to work. You should try that."

                    Two hours later Tom calls back "Boss, I did what you said and you were right. I feel great, I'll be at work soon! Oh and by the way Boss, you have a nice house."
                    now this had me shocked i'll give this a 10 on ascale of 5 their isn't a such thing so i give this a 10. 5 is degrading to this joke.
                    I'm Such A Lady

                    Comment


                    • #40
                      Originally posted by BroncoMadness
                      Three football fans were on their way to a game when one noticed a foot sticking out of the bushes by the side of the road. They stopped and discovered a nude female dead drunk.
                      Out of respect and propriety, the Bronco's fan took off his cap and placed it over her right breast.

                      The 'Niners' fan took off his cap and placed it over her left breast.

                      Following their lead, the Raider's fan took off his cap and placed it over her crotch.

                      The police were called and when the officer arrived, he conducted his inspection. First, he lifted up the Bronco's cap, replaced it and wrote down some notes.

                      Next, he lifted the 'Niners' cap, replaced it and wrote down some more notes.

                      The officer then lifted the Raider's cap, replaced it, then lifted it again, replaced it, lifted it a third time, and replaced it one last time.

                      The Raider's fan was getting upset and finally asked, "What are you, a pervert or something?""Why do you keep lifting and looking, lifting and looking?
                      "Well," said the officer. "I am simply surprised; normally when I look under a Raider's hat,
                      I find an A_ _hole"
                      i give u a 5
                      I'm Such A Lady

                      Comment


                      • #41
                        Originally posted by BroncoMadness
                        A man won a ticket to the Super Bowl, but when he got there, he was very disappointed. He was on the far left, at the back. He was closer to the Goodyear Blimp than he was to the field, but halfway through the first quarter he spotted the best seat in the house. He went over to the empty seat and said to the guy sitting beside it, "Is anyone sitting here?" "No.", the guy replied. So the man sat down, and about 30 minutes later, he couldn't resist saying, "Man! This is an awesome seat! Whoever gave it up must be CRAZY!" The guy sitting next to him replied, "Well, actually, that was supposed to be my wife's seat, but she died." The man, feeling like **** said, "Oh, that's awful, but couldn't you have asked a relative to come with you?" "No", said the guy. The man was confused, and asked, "Why not?" The guy replied, "Because they're all at the funeral."
                        you are dead wrong for that joke it was real funny i give u a 5 too.
                        I'm Such A Lady

                        Comment


                        • #42
                          Originally posted by ScottishBronco
                          How do you circumcise a Raiders fan?

                          Kick his sister in the jaw!!!

                          BOOM BOOM!!
                          that's not funny at all you get a 0 for that.
                          I'm Such A Lady

                          Comment


                          • #43
                            Originally posted by Ftblman
                            THAT WAS ..OK...3



                            One day this guy is sitting on his front porch..He noticed his blonde nieghbor walking out to her mailbox and then slamming it shut...So after the 5th time of doing this he finally asks her "why do you keep looking in the mailbox and slamming it ?".She replies"My stupid computer keeps telling me i got mail"
                            that sounds just like a blond
                            I'm Such A Lady

                            Comment

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