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JOKE of teh DAY!

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  • Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.

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    • The other day when I was walking through the woods, I saw a rabbit standing in front of a candle making shadows of people on a tree.

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      • My watch is three hours fast, and I can't fix it. So I'm going to move to New York.

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        • Is it weird in here, or is it just me?

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          • Change is inevitable….except from vending machines.

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            • A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

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              • Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.

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                • OK, so what’s the speed of dark?

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                  • Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.

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                    • You can’t have everything. Where would you put it?

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                      • The severity of the itch is proportional to the reach.

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                        • A dog walks into a telegram office

                          The guy behind the desk asks "what do want your telegram to read?"

                          The dog goes " woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof"

                          The guy says "I noticed you have 9 words, do you want an extra woof? it's for free"

                          The dog says "Nooo, that wouldn't make any sense"

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                          • I endorse podiums.

                            That’s a product I can stand behind!

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                            • Honey, I look in the mirror and all I see is a fat, ugly, old man. I need you to pay me a compliment.

                              Ok. Your eyesight is darn near perfect!

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                              • Glass coffins. Will they ever catch on?

                                Remains to be seen.

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