I love America. I went on vacation to San Francisco and Boston 15 years ago and fell in love with the place. I've been back every year since - sometimes coming across the pond two or three times a year. Went to Dallas as I'm interested in the Kennedy story, did the Texas Stadium tour (Booo! Damn those arrogant Cowboys!), ate massive steaks and had a ball. Been to New York twice - the people are like Scots from Glasgow - straight talkers and no bull. Went to Washington DC three times. Fantastic. The national mall, Arlington, Georgetown....superb. Went to see the Redskins v Cowboys at FedEx Field (Booo! Damn those hopeless Redskins as they lost again!) New Orleans - great food, did the tour of the Superdome (Booo! Damn those Super Bowl winning Saints!). Orlando, been twice. Las Vegas, been thirteen times, best holiday destination in the world, love it or hate it, I love it. Seattle? Went once, saw the Mariners play in the old Kingdome, and Ken Griffey Jr hit a home run. Chicago, San Diego, Memphis, Nashville, Denver (Booo! Damn those pesky Broncos, no hold on, that's not right!) Did the Invesco Field tour, fell in love with the city and the team. The Broncos became my team forever in May 2009, so I'm a new fan. Philadelphia, Baltimore - been to them too. Liberty Bell, the history....Baltimore Harbour, lovely.
Right, OK, so we've established that I love America. I love your music - Springsteen, REM, Pearl Jam, Tom Petty...the list goes on. I love your movies, American culture influences so much of our lives in the UK....
BUT, America...from sea to shining sea. There's one thing I HATE about you.... What on earth were you thinking when you decided it was a good idea to have those sticky strips right across the top of your CDs? It's a disgrace! Has anyone, anyone at all - in the history of your great nation (well, since CDs were invented) EVER, EVER been able to get their fingernail under the corner of the sticky bit marked 'pull', and actually get the damn thing off in one piece? No. It's impossible. You spend five minutes trying to get the corner picked off enough to be able to grab it between your finger and thumb - then...snap. A little piece comes off, leaving the rest stuck fast. You've waited years for the new Lifehouse CD, it's there in your hands, but you can't get to it. You try again, a bit at a time. The sticky bit has the name of the artist and album on the top white bit, you're so close you can almost hear the music in your head.... but the bloody thing is still stuck fast. Eventually you get one length off - but there's more to go. You try opening the CD jewel case from the bottom, but it bows open, as it's still glued shut at the top. You try to use pressure to make the top sticky strip give way, but BANG! you break the jewel case open after waiting weeks for Amazon to deliver that Lifehouse CD to your door in sunny Scotland. Minutes turn into hours, day turns to night. Eventually you're there - all the sticky top bit is off, and you can listen to the album. Great....aren't Lifehouse a great band, and the album is worth the wait. You put it back in the by now broken into three or more pieces jewel case, and your fingers stick to the residue that you didn't realise was still on the case. It feels horrible, so you start trying to rub it off with your fingers creating friction and heat. Nah, it ain't working - the top of the jewel case is now covered in black sticky gungy bits that just spread out but don't come off. You give up and start searching for a new jewel case to house your new CD, all the time cursing the US of A and their sticky CD strip thingy slapped across the top of every new CD.
America. You guys put men on the moon. What the - is going on?
Obama. One year in - get it fixed.
God Bless America and Go Broncos.
Right, OK, so we've established that I love America. I love your music - Springsteen, REM, Pearl Jam, Tom Petty...the list goes on. I love your movies, American culture influences so much of our lives in the UK....
BUT, America...from sea to shining sea. There's one thing I HATE about you.... What on earth were you thinking when you decided it was a good idea to have those sticky strips right across the top of your CDs? It's a disgrace! Has anyone, anyone at all - in the history of your great nation (well, since CDs were invented) EVER, EVER been able to get their fingernail under the corner of the sticky bit marked 'pull', and actually get the damn thing off in one piece? No. It's impossible. You spend five minutes trying to get the corner picked off enough to be able to grab it between your finger and thumb - then...snap. A little piece comes off, leaving the rest stuck fast. You've waited years for the new Lifehouse CD, it's there in your hands, but you can't get to it. You try again, a bit at a time. The sticky bit has the name of the artist and album on the top white bit, you're so close you can almost hear the music in your head.... but the bloody thing is still stuck fast. Eventually you get one length off - but there's more to go. You try opening the CD jewel case from the bottom, but it bows open, as it's still glued shut at the top. You try to use pressure to make the top sticky strip give way, but BANG! you break the jewel case open after waiting weeks for Amazon to deliver that Lifehouse CD to your door in sunny Scotland. Minutes turn into hours, day turns to night. Eventually you're there - all the sticky top bit is off, and you can listen to the album. Great....aren't Lifehouse a great band, and the album is worth the wait. You put it back in the by now broken into three or more pieces jewel case, and your fingers stick to the residue that you didn't realise was still on the case. It feels horrible, so you start trying to rub it off with your fingers creating friction and heat. Nah, it ain't working - the top of the jewel case is now covered in black sticky gungy bits that just spread out but don't come off. You give up and start searching for a new jewel case to house your new CD, all the time cursing the US of A and their sticky CD strip thingy slapped across the top of every new CD.
America. You guys put men on the moon. What the - is going on?
Obama. One year in - get it fixed.
God Bless America and Go Broncos.
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