Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Best Friend Is Turning Into a Loser

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • #31
    Originally posted by xX-Bronco-Xx View Post
    I'm not his parent but it damn seems I should start yelling at him like one.

    Dude doesn't go to college nor can he keep a job. He BARELY passed high school two years ago by going to night school.

    Instead of saving his money up for something useful from his past job he spent it all on a big screen TV, PS3, and video games. All the people around him are enablers with his parents not giving a damn or doing anything and his girlfriend for some reason buys him everything which I can tell is the only reason he's with her.

    He still lives in his dads basement, plays video games ALL night, and goes to sleep at like 11 AM to wake up at 6 or 7 at night. It's like the stereotypical burnout who is addicted to video games.

    But what really pisses me off is that he's dragging my other buddy down by doing the same crap with him when the dude is about to start school again in the fall.

    My question is how am I suppose to confront him about this without shattering his ego? It really does piss me off that he's wasting away in his dad's basement and I honestly think he's going to be one of those 40 year old men that live with their parents still if he keeps this up.
    Be honest with him. If he continues his course, he is going to hurt himself. Be straight with him.:thumb:
    sigpic

    Comment


    • #32
      Originally posted by sharp_shepherd View Post
      Pretty much sounds like my 20 year old son after actually achieving something during high school. I laid it on the line and he got pissed off and then I told him the real hard truth that he's been a big disappointment. He hung up deleted me off of facebook and posted that he's now a bastard child. I had to tell him the truth and i'm not the type of parent who'll ever enable their child to do "nothing". He'll come around someday and hopefully see that he's wrong....if he doesn't it's all on him. I did my part as a parent and hounded the living heck out of him until he was 19.

      Your buddy sucks and it's best not to waste YOUR time handing around with someone who is obviously heading in a different direction that you are. It's not your job to ensure he lives a good life. Our society has way to many losers who are enabled by girlfriends, boyfriends, friends, parents and our government in general. I say let them all fall on their face so maybe it'll wake them up and learn a lesson while they are young.
      You sound like my dad! And I'm starting to sound like my dad!

      Call me naive but there is no way I'm giving up on my best friend in any situation... Unless he steals all my starbursts again. Then the gloves are off.

      I feel better getting all that off my chest though. Thanks for the advice everyone.

      Comment


      • #33
        You need to kick that dirty hippie right in the nuts.
        I really like Cheese.

        Comment


        • #34
          Originally posted by xX-Bronco-Xx View Post
          I'm not his parent but it damn seems I should start yelling at him like one.

          Dude doesn't go to college nor can he keep a job. He BARELY passed high school two years ago by going to night school.

          Instead of saving his money up for something useful from his past job he spent it all on a big screen TV, PS3, and video games. All the people around him are enablers with his parents not giving a damn or doing anything and his girlfriend for some reason buys him everything which I can tell is the only reason he's with her.

          He still lives in his dads basement, plays video games ALL night, and goes to sleep at like 11 AM to wake up at 6 or 7 at night. It's like the stereotypical burnout who is addicted to video games.

          But what really pisses me off is that he's dragging my other buddy down by doing the same crap with him when the dude is about to start school again in the fall.

          My question is how am I suppose to confront him about this without shattering his ego? It really does piss me off that he's wasting away in his dad's basement and I honestly think he's going to be one of those 40 year old men that live with their parents still if he keeps this up.
          I think that might be exactly what you need to do. There are 2 main reasons people are like that (I have a few friends like that) 1 is depression. Some people hide from there depression by playing waaaaayyyyy too many video games, the other reason is ego. Some people think they are awesome enough that they don't need to do anything with themselves and if that's the case he may hate you for it but it would help him to crush it. What sucks about your situation is he may hate you for trying to help him.
          sigpic
          Sig pic by dbfan2007

          Originally posted by kishzilla
          You truly are a special kind of strange ha ha ha.
          You damn right!

          Songs engineered, mixed, and mastered by yours truly...
          Have It All - Blu3
          Conceited - Blu3
          Intro (Failure Meets Success) - Blu3
          All On You - Blu3

          Comment


          • #35
            Originally posted by xX-Bronco-Xx View Post
            I'm not his parent but it damn seems I should start yelling at him like one.

            Dude doesn't go to college nor can he keep a job. He BARELY passed high school two years ago by going to night school.

            Instead of saving his money up for something useful from his past job he spent it all on a big screen TV, PS3, and video games. All the people around him are enablers with his parents not giving a damn or doing anything and his girlfriend for some reason buys him everything which I can tell is the only reason he's with her.

            He still lives in his dads basement, plays video games ALL night, and goes to sleep at like 11 AM to wake up at 6 or 7 at night. It's like the stereotypical burnout who is addicted to video games.

            But what really pisses me off is that he's dragging my other buddy down by doing the same crap with him when the dude is about to start school again in the fall.

            My question is how am I suppose to confront him about this without shattering his ego? It really does piss me off that he's wasting away in his dad's basement and I honestly think he's going to be one of those 40 year old men that live with their parents still if he keeps this up.
            Gotta agree with a lot of what I have seen, the quicker you can get it out the better! I have always tried to address things sooner than later in my life and it has seemed to work out well so far!

            Comment


            • #36
              I have a friend that went through what your friend seems to be going through right now, and he eventually grew out of it, moved to California and became a systems administrator for Hot Topic, of all places. This guy was worthless for like four years after college, which he dropped out of after a year. He ate Doritos, drank Mountain Dew and played freaking Final Fantasy for hours at a time, and now he's a 32-year-old yuppie. He's married and he's doing good.

              I know, cool story bro, but I just thought I'd throw that out there.

              his name is joe
              HEAR ME ROAR!
              sigpic
              Thanks to Freyaka for the great sig!

              Comment


              • #37
                I'd go to the people he's totally reliant on first (dad & girlfriend), get them to stop giving him everything. Monetary get him cut him off, otherwise I don't see anything doing the trick. Sure there are a lot of examples like WhoDeyBengals gave, but that is usually not the case.
                Last edited by Sparky The Sun Devil; 03-02-2011, 12:44 AM.

                Comment


                • #38
                  Originally posted by xX-Bronco-Xx View Post
                  I'm getting a bench press very soon. I haven't been working out diligently since I stopped football in freshmen year of high school. Hows about I get him to start working out with me once the thing comes instead of full out confronting him and starting trouble?

                  He actually liked working out for a little while until he couldn't pay for gym membership so that's something I could lean towards.
                  I think this sounds like a good way to make a bridge... reach out to him. I think it will be difficult to get him going regularly since he seems pretty set in his ways. Like Alastor says, this may just be a phase this kid goes through and he's going to pull himself out some day. However, for every Alastor who kicks the habit there are 3 lost fellows sitting down in a dark room not looking for a light switch. Sometimes a light switch comes when your buddy opens the door and flicks it on. Pot can kill a man's motivation.

                  My advice? Sometimes you have to come to terms with these things. Life will grow people apart, you should be ready to face that. Let him do what is easy for him and you focus on yourself. However, if you consider this guy a great friend and a good guy it is worth your time to try and get him onto a healthier track. Smoking pot, playing 15 hours of video games a night is not healthy.

                  I would say, keep it simple. Tell him straight up, like you love em. Be confrontational, turn the TV off sit across from him and look him in the eye. Be careful, it's tough to deliver: be gentle, level headed and non threatening. That's the truth, I've experienced similar situation you just got to tell your brother real. "Hey man, you're a great friend of mine. I know you may just be taking the liberty of hanging our right now... I just don't want to see you make marijuana and video games a life long habit. You won't accomplish anything in this basement, grab life by the balls." I think short, simple to the point works best in male to male dialect like this. Offer him your hand in healthier things, work out and go try to pick up girls or something.

                  Comment


                  • #39
                    So there is more to the story, and probably more still that you haven't said.

                    Then there's the parts you don't know.

                    It's all so hard for us to speculate on. I wish you the best, but ultimately he's going to have to make his own choices. If you want to be there for him when he needs input, you're going to have to find a way to deal with this that doesn't wind up with him shutting you out.

                    Comment


                    • #40
                      Originally posted by sharp_shepherd View Post
                      Pretty much sounds like my 20 year old son after actually achieving something during high school. I laid it on the line and he got pissed off and then I told him the real hard truth that he's been a big disappointment. He hung up deleted me off of facebook and posted that he's now a bastard child. I had to tell him the truth and i'm not the type of parent who'll ever enable their child to do "nothing". He'll come around someday and hopefully see that he's wrong....if he doesn't it's all on him. I did my part as a parent and hounded the living heck out of him until he was 19.
                      Your buddy sucks and it's best not to waste YOUR time handing around with someone who is obviously heading in a different direction that you are. It's not your job to ensure he lives a good life. Our society has way to many losers who are enabled by girlfriends, boyfriends, friends, parents and our government in general. I say let them all fall on their face so maybe it'll wake them up and learn a lesson while they are young.
                      Wow Sharp_Shepard. GOD forbid, But what if somethin happens to him (passes away or if something happens to you?. I can tell you that it will be very tough and dreadful to deal with. I grew up with my pops until the age of about 6 when my parents split. I grew up getting into trouble (Guns to my head, Friends getting stabbed & shot, Seen a friend die in my arms). My senior year of HS i got into a fight and moved to Maui to live with my dad. He pushed me to be a carpenter so much that i moved back with moms. I always held a grudge because he never visited me or my brothers when we were growing up and leaving my mom to care for us. Years went by without even a phone call, Even though we lived on different islands. My brothers and i grew up without him, My youngest brother lived on the same island and he never got to meet his grandchildren. Now, I do put blame on us by not visiting him. Back in 2009, I was talking with my brothers about taking a trip to see pops, And they did not even want to talk about it. I was very angry because i knew that he was getting old and living all alone like that for all these years can't be good for him. I was disappointed in my older brother too, As he has 3 kids that haven't seen their grandpa too, Six grandkids that haven't seen their grandpa, Sad. Well, about a month later we found out that he had passed away. Till this day, I still pray that i should have done more to see him one last time. Life is short my friend, And i hope that you make the most of it to see your son again. Aloha & GOD bless.
                      Last edited by Broncoboy6; 03-02-2011, 04:25 AM.
                      HE>i

                      Comment


                      • #41
                        Quite a few long posts in this thread, so I didn't read every post and perhaps I've missed something, but I am a little surprised at some of the responses in this thread. I figured I would chime in.

                        Your friend and I have a lot of similarities when it comes to lifestyle, from your explanation. I would be extremely angry if one of my "friends" got on me about how I live my life. It's none of there business. And no matter what anybody tells me, I will not do something, or change who I am/how I live because somebody doesn't approve. I will do what I want to do, and do what makes me happy. Not to mention, my "friends" are into way worse things, or live a much unhealthier lifestyle than I do, but do I mention anything to them? No, because I understand it's there life, and they are living it how they seem fit. Basically, we aren't here for very long, and all we can ever hope for in life is to be happy, and whatever being happy entails, you should go ahead and do that.

                        Comment


                        • #42
                          Given-
                          Option A: Work at Del Taco, get a dump of a loft apartment in some crappy neighborhood, work as many hours as possible just to pay for the dump and maybe some basic cable. Deal with miserable/angry customers all day on top of that. Maybe, just maybe can get a student loan to go to night school (Assuming he even cares about school, some people don't and won't). All of this in a crap economy where he might lose his job, or find out that degree he just worked for can't get him a job.

                          Or

                          Option B: Live at dads, play video games, still have a GF, have nice things (TV, PS3 ect.), and not have to worry about anything.

                          Is there really any reason why he shouldn't chose option B?

                          Humans will generally always chose the easiest route unless forced otherwise.
                          sigpic


                          Comment


                          • #43
                            Originally posted by BroncoFanNC View Post
                            Humans will generally always chose the easiest route unless forced otherwise.
                            So you're suggesting we transform him into a hedgehog?

                            Comment


                            • #44
                              I had two friends who after high school started turning into bums.

                              They were smoking weed everyday, and dealing it and drinking. Hitting up the strip clubs in Mexico and causing trouble. They both dropped out of college as well.

                              But then one of them decided to change and ended up joining the army and last time I checked hes doing fine.

                              The other one is a pot head, possibly a full on drug addict now. I haven't seen him in a while.

                              In your case I wouldn't do anything. Just let your friends learn by themselves. You might also think about not hanging out with them anymore.
                              Now go get your shine box

                              Comment


                              • #45
                                Originally posted by Spice 1 View Post

                                Never could quite figure what this was all about..........unless the guy with the gun is a dentist.

                                Comment

                                Working...
                                X