Whatever happened to common courtesy?

[knoxman36and2]

I live in the South, and supposedly we are known for our hospitality and courtesy etc.

I have to admit that in recent years I have seen a serious decline in manners, etiquette, or simple courtesy. They all mean the same thing to me. Little things such as:
Opening the door for a lady
Saying Sir or Ma'am to your elders
Saying thank you when something is done for you
Politely listening until someone is finished speaking before you say anything
Being considerate and willing to go a little further towards thinking of others
Not correcting someone on little mistakes, when you understand what they mean
Letting someone out into the flow of traffic when driving
not driving in the passing lane if your not traveling faster than the slow lane


There are literally hundreds of things that could be added to this list.

Is it because our lives have become so fast paced that we are always in a hurry? Is it because each generation teaches their children less about how they should act in public AND in private? Is it because we as a nation have become more self-centered and selfish?

I'm not sure that I know what the answer is. I do know that I miss the days when kids were raised to be respectful, and to honor their elders because those people had already been through the things these young kids were just beginning to experience. I miss the days when you could pull out of a parking lot, even at a busy intersection, because "someone" would slow down enough to let you out (and of course you would wave your thanks to them for doing so).

Is there an area in our country where this kind of behavior is still the norm, instead of the exception? Do people still live in places where kids aren't allowed to run wild through a Walmart/K-Mart?etc? Do any of you live in an area where you still say Aunt Frances or Uncle Frank, instead of just calling them by their name?

Perhaps it's not as bad as the picture I've painted. I do see more and more kids raised with less and less respect for their parents, authority figures, and the elderly. It kind of sickens me considering the way I was brought up to believe things should be done. How do the rest of you see it?

[Frenchy180]

A lot of it is gone nowadays... Which is sad... Though I know when I have kids, I'm going to teach them the right way to do things... The best way is by example.

[SoundsOfSuccess]

A lot of it is gone nowadays... Which is sad... Though I know when I have kids, I'm going to teach them the right way to do things... The best way is by example.

Amen.

It starts at the top. Lead by example and people will follow. Cough cough* government! *cough cough

[12and4]

He took off with my money

[100%Broncoholic]

Common courtesy and common sense were both corrupted by greed and corruption...

[CanDB]

knox.....you are definitely touching on a subject, make that more than one subject, that worry me a bit. I think it began way back when discipline became a 'loaded' proposition. I also believe it has to do with the over-used "quality time" parenting. Further, I think that parents who have been raised the "me first" way are not the best role models, and thus the problem carries on for multiple generations.

To elaborate a little......lets not confuse discipline with physicality. Discipline is not about hitting kids. Discipline should not be confused with mind games either. Discipline means simply that young ones need to know right from wrong, and that courtesy and such are a priority. I believe that some parents from the last couple of generations have things mixed up. They think that a little quality time, and a lot of letting kids get away with whatever, makes for good parenting. Instead, the kids can become selfish, and never quite understand common sense, courtesy and so on. They become oblivious to what's around them. It's their world. Case in point, how many (thousands of) times have you seen kids misbehaving or annoying others, and the parents just sitting there, pretty much ignoring all that's going on????

Further, I believe social networking has added another layer of restricted vision shall we say.....it's more about instant gratification and less about patience and striving and cooperating. This form of living dulls some of the normal, more natural ways of behaviour.

This doesn't apply to everyone. There are good parents out there, and good younger folks, who have common sense, respect for others, and all the traits that make for a full person. But I always look at the parents first. Many of them have failed, or in a lot of cases, been failed when growing up. I think we need a mini parenting revolution. The pendulum has swung too far in my books.

[Captain_23]

You are 100% right... and when i went home I noticed it myself. Was very disappointed in this " New Generation " of kids. But from my perception, it appears 90% of the problem of lack of discipline in this kids now a days, is the fact that kids are having kids extremely early into they're teen years.

When it comes to adults, people are just flat out ignorant now a days. There isnt love in the world anymore like it was for those of us who grew up in the 70's, 80's and early 90's... The 2k era is definitely a generation that is destroying our reputation as human beings..

[Portia11]

It isn't the parents providing the instruction/examples, it's the child care provider, school or peer group. So I blame a lot of it on the Mother working outside the home, whether by choice or necessity. I knew I had missed a few 'lessons in life' when one of my sons asked me why the man was supposed to walk on the side of the woman closest to the street.

There have always been 'parents' that, whether they stay home or not, can't or won't teach their children much of anything, just seems like they are in the majority these days.

[100%Broncoholic]

Its funny at a school we had an issue w "parent" lesson that should have been taught at home. I called the parent and their response was, "Isn't it your job to teach them?"

[CanDB]

Its funny at a school we had an issue w "parent" lesson that should have been taught at home. I called the parent and their response was, "Isn't it your job to teach them?"

That is a blatant cop out....and has much to do with the problem we discuss. These are part time parents, in my books. They need to read up on "parenting" pretty soon. This might be pre 101 level!

[CanDB]

For those of you who are raising kids, here's a positive to consider. If you raise your kids respectfully and provide them with every opportunity to become good role models and "good people", they will stand out even more as they mature, because others will value what they have to offer......and basically what they represent.

They will shine!!! And they will be the ones to rub off on others.

Do them that service......as a parent. They deserve it.

[BroncoManiac_69]

We are raising our 2 grandkids in our house with very strict yet fun loving attitudes. The 2 year old has a limited vocabulary but "please, thank you and you're welcome" are words he already knows and uses.

The 8 year old goes to a very nice public school that is also very strict regarding courtesy and respectful behavior and it shows.

This entire town of 30K is pretty friendly and courteous. We feel fortunate in that regard.

[Louich]

Chivalry and good manner are dead










a woman killed it ! lol

[PAINTERDAVE]

Same as happiness is a choice...
being polite and having manners is a choice.

So many today are so focused on their own selves to the exclusion of everyone around them...

deal is...

often folks think it is COOL to be sarcastic and sassy and hurtful to others.

It is about self awareness and choices.. I think.

As a single guy..

Believe me.. the older one gets..
the more that being kind and gentle is appreciated by women..

mean spirited, mannerless, selfish people just dont seem very happy as they age.

But what can you do?

Live and let live.

Beyond simple common courtesy, though is something deeper...
being a Gentleman.

That concept means so much more than simply opening a womans car door.
A gentleman tries to make those around himself comfortable.
A gentleman strives to do the right thing no matter what.
A gentleman keeps his head regardless of the situation.
A gentleman can be counted on.
A gentleman rejects negativity and embraces the positive aspects of life.
A gentleman gives respect, and here is the kicker...
a gentleman deserves and earns respect as a result of his consistant and dependably positive behaviour.
He places a high value on honesty. He is proficiant, decent and trustworthy.

Being a Gentleman today.. set's one above many of the rest...

Give it a try.

[Peanut]

Chivalry and good manner are dead










a woman killed it ! lol

If it weren't for women, good manners wouldn't exist.

Really. Have you guys looked at yourselves?

I've made it my job to check out each male I see.


Bad manners, good manners.

Is it something learned or something that comes naturally? Both?

It seems to me that someone with bad manners, is kind of a selfish person.