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Whatever happened to common courtesy?

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  • #61
    Originally posted by CanDB View Post
    but if you are referring to this thread in general I would kindly argue that it is a relevant topic, and not aimed at individuals' flaws, rather a concern that many of my friends and I continue to feel needs an adjustment. It's a combination of the way kids are raised, possibly the education system, and other things we have noted prior to (in this thread).

    I think this is good discussion for the mostpart. And if it's as true as many of us believe, the question is, how do we move the pendulum? It's going to take time, maybe even some worldly events. But if nothing else, here's my first suggestion....

    If you are a parent or parent to be......try your hardest to help your kids in terms of appreciating the rights of others. We live together, and we need to think outside of ourselves.....we need to take into consideration the needs of others when we take action.

    That's what many of you can do. And it's little things (parent or not)...
    - if your kid yells and screams at a restaurant, take them out for a few minutes
    - if you are a neighbour, keep the sound down, and do not mess your neighbour's property
    - if you are walking in a mall, do not walk into people
    - if your kid talks "me", remind them that they are part of "we"
    - if there is garbage on the ground, maybe consider picking it up and throwing it out
    - if an elderly person is having trouble, offer a hand

    The list is endless.......and there's nothing extraordinary about it.
    Those are all things everybody should be doing and be taught.

    I wasn't really directly pointing at this thread when I said that, I kind of just wanted to spark another discussion considering the majority of the people share the same opinion and feeling towards the common courtesy bit.

    My real issue seems to be the difference between respect being demanded and respect just becoming second nature. I want to see the opinions of others as I am a bit conflicted as to how respect should be taught.

    I am younger and I have not raised any children so I want to understand the opinions of others because I think it's great to really know how everyone feels, not just me.
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    • #62
      Originally posted by HavoK471 View Post
      Those are all things everybody should be doing and be taught.

      I wasn't really directly pointing at this thread when I said that, I kind of just wanted to spark another discussion considering the majority of the people share the same opinion and feeling towards the common courtesy bit.

      My real issue seems to be the difference between respect being demanded and respect just becoming second nature. I want to see the opinions of others as I am a bit conflicted as to how respect should be taught.

      I am younger and I have not raised any children so I want to understand the opinions of others because I think it's great to really know how everyone feels, not just me.
      I honestly don't feel those are things that have to do with respect.

      I think respect for me is hard to come by. I'm very opinionated and hold people to a high standard mostly to a fault. Respect is something very different than courtesy. They don't come hand in hand in my mind.

      I treat people kindly no matter what. But don't mistake that for respect.
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      • #63
        Originally posted by JakeNbake View Post
        I honestly don't feel those are things that have to do with respect.

        I think respect for me is hard to come by. I'm very opinionated and hold people to a high standard mostly to a fault. Respect is something very different than courtesy. They don't come hand in hand in my mind.

        I treat people kindly no matter what. But don't mistake that for respect.
        I hold a different opinion in the sense that if you are treating people nice it means you have a sense of respect for yourself and other people in general. It doesn't necessarily mean you respect that one individual you are helping but instead you understand the good of a small gesture because of your ability to respect others.

        The levels of respect you hold for people may be different but respect is always there. For example I respect my parents a great amount, more than I respect the old lady who is struggling with her grocery bags. However, I will still run to help that lady out because I respect the fact that this lady has lived a while and has done a lot in her life yet she still continues to go on.

        I respect everyone around me untill they give me a real reason not to
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        • #64
          When I first created this thread it was more of an abstract idea that began when I noticed a few things one day last week.

          In my memory (which is perhaps flawed) I remember a time when a lot of things were different than they seem to be today. I definitely and freely admit that the curtain of time and distance may be warping my memory of how things "were".

          The things I noticed last week?

          Being in a conversation and being interrupted before I had finished sharing my thought.

          My son not saying "thank you" to my cousin for getting him a milkshake. (and yes, I did correct him on it, and made a point of it to him)

          Another family member being selfish in a situation where they should have been more considerate.

          An individual working at a fast food place who was irritable and obnoxious when our order was wrong.

          Sitting in a parking lot for what seemed like forever, waiting on a break in traffic, until someone Finally let us out.

          A young man I saw as we were driving by, who "seemed" to be yelling at his elderly "mother/aunt/sister?

          A young child running through Walmart and almost knocking over another elderly person, with the parent(s) nowhere in sight.

          I'm not saying these things didn't happen when I was a child as well. I "AM" saying that I do not remember them happening as frequently if I saw them at all.

          I believe this thread has covered a lot of the reasons why things are different:

          The mother not being in the home, because it takes both parents working to survive.

          A more fast paced social and economic situation than was present years ago.

          All of the ideology that makes it almost a crime to spank your child (not beat them, but to even give a solid spank on the butt when they are doing something wrong).

          The school system no longer having the ability to spank a child.

          And I could go on with this list forever.

          The one final thing I would add that is MUCH different than when I was a child, or at least seems to be much different?

          All the legalism and the attitude of "covering your butt" in almost all public institutions. People are more concerned with making sure they can't be accused of doing wrong, than they are about doing right. A prime example that just occurred this year in our school system?

          The middle school was allowing all 8th graders who had after school activities at the high school, to ride a bus that had a route close to the high school, and be dropped off there.

          Two young boys touched a young girl "inappropriately" while in route to the high school. The girl didn't report it until the next day at school, when her parents came in raising cain about those boys even being on that bus since they were getting off at the high school.

          Bus services were immediately suspended for ALL students who needed to be at the high school for after school activities such as band, flag, football, basketball, etc. The two boys were immediately expelled for the rest of the school year.

          From that point in the school year on, there were an extra 30-50 cars sitting at the middle school at 3:20 so the parents could take their kids over to the high school (a few miles away).

          In "my" memory, I remember a similar incident when I was a kid. The boys were suspended/expelled and the bus service continued. Now? That's impossible because of the liability that would exist for the school system. I don't blame the school for taking the action they took. Afterall we live in a day and age where someone can sue and get millions of dollars because their coffee was HOT and the lid wasn't perfectly sealed. :brick:

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          • #65
            The nuclear family doesn't exist anymore with high divorce rate or both parents are usually have careers, we are a keychain generation that has the most information under our fingertips than any generation prior and very close knit with our peers due our technology.

            The previous generation always look at the current generation as inappropriate. The hippies in the 70, the rock and rollers in th 80. Its easy to judge when your generation is over and the other is existing.

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            • #66
              Being courteous to someone (as an other member said) is common sense to me. I was raised in a somewhat severe manner but no spanking and no grounding (one or two exceptions).

              My dad always told me two thing:

              -think before whats going to happend after. I didn't get at first but as time passed by it became obvious, I was not making mistakes other friends were making in life

              -the other one is treat people like you want to be treated, once someone does not treat you properly, forgive him he's just not well mannered but remember it so you dont make the mistake twice.

              Well, as of today I am 30, and these still stand. I try most of the time to be couteous and help people who are in need. Sometimes some are grateful other times they are rude. When I think they are being rude I just throw a having a bad day? or a thanks it was my pleasure just for the fun of it and that it.

              To each is own but, being selfish in these day may give you an individual advantage sometime but in the long run people around you notice and you get identified by it. I have a lot of friends some of them are great and would sell their houses for me (wich goes both way btw) and some are more of a fun to have around type of friends who I have fun with them but wont never ever see them freely offer thei help to anyone. Some people are just more selfish than other. There are many variable to this, society being on, the way parents raised you being an other one but there is also the way YOU choose to run your life as well.
              Canadian Denver Bronco Fan #7

              Adopted Broncos:
              -:Mr. Decker:-

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              • #67
                What is everyone doing here right now? Posting on internet message boards. I feel society has become less personally interacted with the advent of Facebook, online games, message boards, email, and texting.

                You can do and say whatever you want online (far more than in person), and also people would rather be attached to their technology than interact with others directly.

                The great sense of invulnerability and anonymity that being online provides teaches people to just do and say whatever they like. They may pull it back when they are out interacting with others physically, but they have already tasted what kind of protections being online gives them and it's hard to just change how you do things on the fly.

                People may not get the reciprocal disrespect or common courtesy's as much because younger generations don't have the face to face interactions like before.

                This is just on top of what others have mentioned, divorce rate, duel working parents, allowing the TV to raise your children.

                I feel bad for my wife, because she works as a manager at Walgreen's and she gets many people daily who will just go off on her because some coupon isn't accepted or something as insignificant. If people don't get THEIR way, then they throw a temper tantrum not even thinking they are quite literally ruining my wife's entire day by acting like a little child.
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