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  • So theres this guy sitting at a bar....

    ...and, after visiting with several patrons, has a seat at the bar and tells the bartender, "I'll bet you fifty bucks that I can bite my right eye." The bartender gives him a puzzled look, and says, "Yeah, OK, I'll take that bet." So, the man pulls out his glass eye and bites it. The bartender pays the guy his $50. The guy walks around the bar for a few more minutes, comes back to the bar, and tells the bartender, "Tell ya what. I feel kinda bad for tricking you, and I want to give you a chance to win your money back. I'll bet you $100 I can bite my left eye." The bartender waves his hand in front of the guy's face, thinks to himself, 'well, he's not blind,' and takes the bet. The guy pulls out his dentures, bites his left eye with them, and puts them back in his mouth. The bartender pays up, and the guy goes walking around the bar again. He returns to the bartender, and says, "Man, I don't want you to feel like I ripped you off. One more bet. I've never tried it before, but I'll bet you $200 that I can stand at the one end of the bar and piss in a shot glass at the other end of the bar." The bartender thinks, 'no way is that possible,' and eagerly takes the bet. So, the bartender sets up the shot glass, and the guy goes to the other end of the bar. He whips it out and starts pissing all over the bar, waving it back and forth, and coming nowhere near the shot glass. The bartender laughs as he counts his $200 dollars. He looks up at the guy - who's smiling - and says, "What the hell are you so happy about? You just lost $200!" The guy says, "Well, I may have lost $200 to you, but I bet those guys over there $500 that I could piss all over your bar and make you smile."
    sigpic

  • #2
    oldie/goody
    "It does not take a majority to prevail, but rather an irate,
    tireless minority keen on setting brushfires of freedom in the minds of
    men."

    -- Samuel Adams

    sigpicJacks RULE!!!!!!

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    • #3
      LMAO.........
      Have allways been Broncos & will allways be Broncos... ORANGE & BLUE FOREVER BABY!!!
      Thanks SixxGunz for the Avatar! Thanks Vulcan for the FanClub Card!

      Comment


      • #4
        LMFAO!! lol thats great...maybe its just me tho..it doesn't take much to entertain me...

        Comment


        • #5
          hey

          Good old one!

          Heres one.

          Imagine this. You are a siamese twin. Your Brother, attached at the side is gay. You are not. Bro has a date coming over tonight. You only have one ass!
          - Go Broncos 2017 and Beyond! -

          Super Bowl 50 CHAMPIONS!

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          • #6
            good one DB


            "Gateway leading to the AFC West"

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            • #7
              Originally posted by PAINTERDAVE
              Good old one!

              Heres one.

              Imagine this. You are a siamese twin. Your Brother, attached at the side is gay. You are not. Bro has a date coming over tonight. You only have one ass!
              LMAO! oh thats great...

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by PAINTERDAVE
                Good old one!

                Heres one.

                Imagine this. You are a siamese twin. Your Brother, attached at the side is gay. You are not. Bro has a date coming over tonight. You only have one ass!


                Oh no!


                "Gateway leading to the AFC West"

                Comment


                • #9
                  hey

                  The difference between Brittiny Spears and the Panama Canal?


                  The Panama Canal is a Busy Ditch!
                  - Go Broncos 2017 and Beyond! -

                  Super Bowl 50 CHAMPIONS!

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    john kerry sits down at the bar. the bartender asks "why the long face?".

                    May God Bless all men and women of our Armed Forces, past and present
                    The Only Thing Necessary For The Triumph Of Evil Is For Good Men To Do Nothing
                    http://www.navyjack.info/history.html
                    My Adopted Bronco is #95 Derek Wolfe

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by DBfan4lyfe
                      ...and, after visiting with several patrons, has a seat at the bar and tells the bartender, "I'll bet you fifty bucks that I can bite my right eye." The bartender gives him a puzzled look, and says, "Yeah, OK, I'll take that bet." So, the man pulls out his glass eye and bites it. The bartender pays the guy his $50. The guy walks around the bar for a few more minutes, comes back to the bar, and tells the bartender, "Tell ya what. I feel kinda bad for tricking you, and I want to give you a chance to win your money back. I'll bet you $100 I can bite my left eye." The bartender waves his hand in front of the guy's face, thinks to himself, 'well, he's not blind,' and takes the bet. The guy pulls out his dentures, bites his left eye with them, and puts them back in his mouth. The bartender pays up, and the guy goes walking around the bar again. He returns to the bartender, and says, "Man, I don't want you to feel like I ripped you off. One more bet. I've never tried it before, but I'll bet you $200 that I can stand at the one end of the bar and piss in a shot glass at the other end of the bar." The bartender thinks, 'no way is that possible,' and eagerly takes the bet. So, the bartender sets up the shot glass, and the guy goes to the other end of the bar. He whips it out and starts pissing all over the bar, waving it back and forth, and coming nowhere near the shot glass. The bartender laughs as he counts his $200 dollars. He looks up at the guy - who's smiling - and says, "What the hell are you so happy about? You just lost $200!" The guy says, "Well, I may have lost $200 to you, but I bet those guys over there $500 that I could piss all over your bar and make you smile."
                      go see DESPERADO. Quentin Tarantino does a great version of this. oldie but goodie.
                      "Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." --Albert Einstein

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                      • #12
                        hey

                        The difference between a rooster and a lawyer?


                        The rooster clucks defiance.
                        - Go Broncos 2017 and Beyond! -

                        Super Bowl 50 CHAMPIONS!

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                        • #13
                          everyone kept cracking jokes on me today..here's 2 of them tho:

                          whats the difference between you and a corvette?
                          not everyone's been in a corvette

                          You're like the town refridgerator. everyone stuffs their meat in you.

                          ah yes, what great friends i have, eh?

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by margerafanisbac
                            everyone kept cracking jokes on me today..here's 2 of them tho:

                            whats the difference between you and a corvette?
                            not everyone's been in a corvette

                            You're like the town refridgerator. everyone stuffs their meat in you.

                            ah yes, what great friends i have, eh?

                            you sound like fun


                            The earth is but one country and mankind it's citizens
                            Baha'u'llah

                            "Everyone takes turns making mistakes in poker. The trick is to skip your turn."
                            Mike Caro

                            "The all-in play works every time but once"


                            You can observe a lot just by watching.
                            Yogi Berra

                            every year.

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Uula Bear
                              you sound like fun
                              lol..ya last year, my great friends gave me the nickname that started it all...stripperella. and no, it didnt have anything to do with me stripping in the middle of a class or anything..its a long story..going way back to last christmas...

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