Let's Talk About You

[aberdien]

I can move my belly like that of a bellydancer.

I can't really do anything super cool.

[Louich]

I golf righty but play hockey lefty... Baseball I bat on the left side of the plate so that would make me a righty ?

For the rest I pretty much do everything by my right hand (except drinking)

[HavoK471]

So that's my story. That's how those weird things happened. Not necessarily because I did anything special, but because the people around me did.

I'm more inclined to believe that this is the case more often than others would like us to believe, but in my case I blatantly admit it. It's not because I did anything amazing, but rather because I tend to be surrounded by those who do.

I'm going to have to disagree with you here. Sometimes things happen around people because they influence it. An artist doesn't just draw/paint/sculpt with no thought in his mind, he has something influencing him to do it. That small kick of inspiration shows how powerful some people/places can be to others.

I think your ability to leave an impact on peoples lives has allowed for these weird things to happen. The most boring of people do not have stuff going on like you do. You're an interesting character that some people will not forget. A conversation with you would most certainly be one to remember.

I can understand why you see it that way, but I think you're giving too much credit to the people around you and not enough to yourself.

[CoryWinget81]

Nix that. Nevermind....why would you know Gary Gaines? :doh:

He was at San Angelo when I was in high school, I think?

College coach? Red Raider....ewwwwwww

[DoomTrooper]

She asked if she could get a picture real quick and he said "oh yeah, sure" and kept walking. She said "what a jerk", and apparently John heard her and flipped her the bird.

I thought it was hilarious.

I would love to see Elway's facial expression as he flipped her off.

People's facial expressions are always hilarious when they're flipping somebody off. Its like it's part of the gesture.

[Alastor]

Alastor........

My friend works with ADD and has been successful......is it the same type of medical thing, or is yours different? Just wondering what supportive things can be utilized, to help.....if in fact help is even needed?

Not sure why people keep buying $3500 locks? Too much money and/or protecting something pretty special????

I honestly am not certain of the specifics. Bear in mind I'm 38. In school as a kid I was not "ADHD" - I was just "a troublemaker."

ADHD didn't exist, and I never got diagnosed for it as a kid. I just got punished a lot.

It was only in the military that I was finally told what it was and that I had it. I had been in about a year and a half. I had a TS/SCI clearance and was on a unit that had some immediate threat response teams. I was on one of those teams. As a result we were on something called the "Personnel Reliability Program."

I got pee tested constantly. My weight was monitored. My blood was taken monthly. I had to do a psych evaluation every 3 months, and I was constantly being briefed and debriefed (which is a nice way of saying "reviewed for security" and "has he lost his mind yet?").

It was under this kind of detailed scrutiny that I was finally diagnosed. They told me the reason it hadn't been detected sooner was because I had developed a lot of very effective coping mechanisms on my own; most likely just out of sheer luck.

I asked if it would result in my removal from the team and they told me that because I seemed to manage it pretty effectively, it wasn't an issue.

It was the military so naturally if they weren't concerned about it, I wasn't about to ask questions (and frankly, they weren't interested in answering them. This ain't your family doctor you're talkin' to. It's not a "nurturing" kind of doctor).

So I don't actually know all the details of it. Very few, actually. I just know I have it, I have it at a pretty high level, but I don't know exactly what type or anything. There are several types and I can't for the life of me figure out which one it is - or perhaps what combination of the types - that I have.

In other words... "I really have no idea. Don't mind either, because it's not always a handicap. Childhood and school were a real nightmare, but it's been quite the asset to me as an adult."


What helps me is being constantly engaged in something. In some cases that means reading something while performing tasks, or learning about things, doing other stuff, and so on. Since I'm a pretty curious person having an overly active brain function means I have to keep myself constantly engaged. The difference is in the self-training and self-discipline I have now that I didn't have as a kid; to turn unproductive impulses into productive impulses.

I used to sit at my desk as a kid and draw on it, carve into it, or antagonize the other students around me. As an adult when I get those impulses I've learned to focus on the person talking, read while they talk (and yes I can still hear them), take better notes that are more elaborate, and so on.

I've really just kind of learned to replace destructive behaviors with constructive habits I guess.


I don't know how or why, but when I was a kid my mom noticed that coffee actually settled me down. Now it's common knowledge that coffee helps people with ADHD focus (as does nicotine by the way). For whatever reason, she noticed that if I had coffee I was more calm and focused. I always had coffee with my mom every morning before she went to work and I went to school. In the military the addiction just got worse, and as an adult... In the course of writing this post I've had three full cups of coffee. Not just because I like it and am addicted to it, but because it helps me focus.

I almost always carry something to play with. In academic terms and among teachers we call these "manipulables" which is a grown up way of saying "toy."

I almost always have something I play with. A tin of Carmex that I spin like a top, a pen I can take apart and put back together while someone lectures, I doodle... You name it. Sometimes I unashamedly just bring an actual toy. I had a rubber dinosaur you could take apart and put back together that I always used to play with in class the last semester I taught. The kids would sometimes play with it as I taught too. Eventually one of them got attached to it so I gave it to them, but I've been known to carry genuine children's toys around with me. I own Legos for personal pleasure. Hot-Wheels too. Play-doh is constantly present in my classrooms.

Anyway, those are some of the tricks I use to keep from making myself look like an ass-clown in polite company.

Here's another confession; sometimes if I'm sitting idle too long, no matter what I do I can't control it. My mind goes off to Lala Land and my imagination goes all kinds of weird places and I'm not always conscious of it. Sometimes I have a fleeting thought that's so vivid or real to me that I physically respond to it somehow. Like if I imagine I'm dodging a boulder in an avalanche, I forget where I am and actually start to move my body like I'm scared. I was in a lecture not too long ago from one of the leading experts on teaching gifted children in the world. She's probably one of the top five experts in the world on the topic, and I got to sit in on her lecture. I had to sit idle. It was a long lecture. I don't know what happened really, but I snapped out of one of my "mental wanderlusts" to find everyone staring at me - PhDs and influential people in the education field - because I had apparently started singing out loud. Not overly loudly and they thought it was funny; but most of them knew me too. I lucked out. Do that during a job interview and I'll never work in that district even when they need a teacher like me desperately. They'll think I'm a lunatic. Sometimes I've caught myself waving my pencil like it's a sword in business meetings.

This is cute when someone's a kid. I'm 38.

I get exceptionally nervous and self-conscious when meeting groups of new people if I have to sit quietly while someone else talks, because I'm very very afraid of where my mind will go when it wanders off and what the results will be.

So far I don't have too many horror stories, but a big part of that is because I try like Hell to keep my mind in check while I sit there.

I really can't describe how difficult it is for me to sit calmly without doing something. Job interviews are a nightmare, and I almost always end up having a very mutual (but professional) conversation with the interviewer as a result. I ask a lot of questions and stuff to help keep myself active. For some of the jobs I apply for I have a panel review (most of them actually). I have to sit there, sit still, and engage mind-numbingly stupid questions while five people stare at me and take notes on my answers.

I cannot possibly express how incredibly hard that is on someone like me. When I get done with those 1 or 2 hour interviews, I am as physically and mentally exhausted as I was on the worst day of military basic training.

I have intentionally avoided owning a laptop, because if I have one I'll then feel obligated to create presentations for interviews that work on that technology. While that's all techy and cool and stuff, it also means I'd sit idle and essentially just drone on about the topic while others took notes. My mind would go all kinds of places it shouldn't go. So I don't own a laptop. I own about 35 whiteboard markers of different colors though, and I'll sit there and draw a presentation all day long while I talk and ask others to do the same to help explain things instead of using a PowerPoint or whatever they want to use.

I don't use videos in my classroom. The students and I have conversations and look at pictures that are passed around, listen to music while we talk or whatever else I can think of. I'm certain some parents wouldn't like the way I do certain things in my classroom, but I guarantee them that their student is fully engaged, and that they pay attention (they have to or I target them and get them involved). I guarantee their kids aren't sleeping. The one complaint I always get in every school I work in is that my classroom is way too noisy, and the kids are bouncing off the walls when they leave my room. There was an English teacher at my last school... And bless her heart, she was so nice about it... But she got my group of students right after I had them three times a week, and I swear she lost 15 pounds in three months as a result of the stress and she was tiny to begin with. I was her surrogate diet program because of the way the kids came out of my classroom.

In my classroom, no one sits still. We work and we work hard, but we don't do it quietly, and we certainly don't do it sitting down.

I had a student fall asleep in my class once.

Once.

Sitting still is the hardest thing I have to do in daily life, and it's a bloody nightmare for me. I hate it. I despise it. And I get angry when people who know these things about me put me in positions where I have to do that. They simply don't realize how damned hard that is for me.

They really don't get it. They don't understand. It's almost a form of mild torture to me.

I know that if I ever go to prison or get captured by an enemy, if they put me in a sensory deprivation environment I'd go pretty crazy pretty quick.

It makes me mad when people who I've told all this stuff to disregard it and then put me in situations where I have to go through it. I do it, and I get through it, but I'm pretty pissed off about it.

They just don't get it. It's hard for me.

I dunno if that answered your question or not, but it sure felt good to put out there.

[Alastor]

Havok,

Thank you again for the very kind words. That's again very flattering. I don't know how true any of it is in my case, but it's flattering none the less.

I think your ability to leave an impact on peoples lives has allowed for these weird things to happen.

The same can be said of Wile E Coyote. I'm not sure my impact is always what I'd like to pretend it is.



Havok, you've been very active in this thread, but I looked and I can't seem to see your post. If I missed it, please point me to it. If not, I'd like to hear your story now.

[CoryWinget81]

It's interesting as hell knowing someone before you know all the side-story, Ala.

[KatieElway7]

Something I've noticed, and totally pointless, to all the left handers here, I have never met a dumb lefty. They are all super smart. :thumb:

For the record I'm a righty

[Alastor]

It's interesting as hell knowing someone before you know all the side-story, Ala.

Ha! I hadn't even thought of that.

Be honest, Cory. Did you ever look at me and watch me and wonder, "What the Hell is he doing!?"

"What is wrong with him!?"

Did you?

I don't know how well I actually control myself around other people, so sometimes it's fun to find out what someone's take on it is like yours.

I wonder how I really appear to others around me. I try like Hell to behave normally, but I always wonder how well I actually pull it off.

[Strimpel]

I want to come back and write more later. But I'll start with this:

I don't have a sense of smell

[CoryWinget81]

Ha! I hadn't even thought of that.

Be honest, Cory. Did you ever look at me and watch me and wonder, "What the Hell is he doing!?"

"What is wrong with him!?"

Did you?

I don't know how well I actually control myself around other people, so sometimes it's fun to find out what someone's take on it is like yours.

I wonder how I really appear to others around me. I try like Hell to behave normally, but I always wonder how well I actually pull it off.

Just always seemed hyper. Nothing really out of the ordinary. I did notice that the first time I was around you extensively you didn't say much and studied me interacting with George and your nephew. Now though, you seem a lot more comfortable around me.

Also, a thing I think is awesome, is how unpredictable the next words out of your mouth will be. If you remember Village Inn and about a certain player being "more exciting"....

I have noticed your ability to talk, look at something, watch football all at the same time while keeping up with all of them.



OH, I just thought of something, I'll pm it to you.

[Alastor]

Oh, And:

Cory, the last time we got together, I told your wife her hair was cool because of the silver strip. She seemed to get kind of annoyed that I didn't remember it was natural and had always been there.

I had remembered that though, it's just that my brain kicked into impulse mode. This is the other danger. When I get excited I get VERY impulsive. You and Miranda, Tasha and Broncbeat, plus Stacey and I all hanging out together watching the game and getting some beer together!

I was so excited!

I love that kind of stuff. As a result, I kind of pee myself like a puppy.

Back to the hair: I was just mentioning that I still thought it was cool. She looked a little offended that I didn't remember though, and I just apologized and moved past it as fast as I could. That was an instance of me having an impulse though, and I do it more often than I'd like to acknowledge.

I knew about her hair. I remembered. It's just that I saw it, my mind said, "Oh, wow, that's really cool! I've seen her hair before, but it's still cool!" and I mostly didn't even realize I was saying it out loud.

I do other things too, socially, because my mind just wanders and I say things that are imaginary or just fleeting thoughts. They're not real and they're not conscious, but sometimes I vocalize them without realizing I'm even talking. Usually they have no bearing whatsoever on my actual thoughts either. It's really just my imagination going weird places.

Anyway, that's one rather harmless instance of my ADHD getting the best of me that I remember you were there to see. I'm sure there have been others though.

[CoryWinget81]

Cory, the last time we got together, I told your wife her hair was cool because of the silver strip. She seemed to get kind of annoyed that I didn't remember it was natural and had always been there.

I had remembered that though, it's just that my brain kicked into impulse mode and I was just mentioning that I still thought it was cool. She looked a little offended that I didn't remember though, and I just apologized and moved past it as fast as I could. That was an instance of me having an impulse though, and I do it more often than I'd like to acknowledge.

I knew about her hair. I remembered. It's just that I saw it, my mind said, "Oh, wow, that's really cool! I've seen her hair before, but it's still cool!" and I mostly didn't even realize I was saying it out loud.

I do other things too, socially, because my mind just wanders and I say things that are imaginary or just fleeting thoughts. They're not real and they're not conscious, but sometimes I vocalize them without realizing I'm even talking. Usually they have no bearing whatsoever on my actual thoughts either. It's really just my imagination going weird places.

Anyway, that's one rather harmless instance of my ADHD getting the best of me that I remember you were there to see. I'm sure there have been others though.

My wife is very misunderstood. She often makes people think she's annoyed or mad with her facial expressions. I don't know why she does it.

On the subject of her hair, its natural, and a birthmark, if she didn't tell you. If she WAS annoyed, it was because she probably thought you were about to say she looked like Rogue from X-Men. She got that a lot.

[Alastor]

I did notice that the first time I was around you extensively you didn't say much and studied me.

Ah! Busted.

Yeah, I do that. I force myself to sit quietly when new people are around. Not because I'd get uncomfortable if I didn't, but because they would. I try to break people in slowly and show that I'm harmless before I get my groove on.

I also want to know which things to not do near them. Thankfully, you have very few boundaries and are very tolerant of other people, which is admirable.

But I can overwhelm people if I'm not careful, so I always try my hardest to not "get in a new person's face" right off the bat.

And yeah, it helps to know something of the mentality of the person I'm interacting with, because I do things without realizing it that some people might think is pretty weird.

Thanks for being tolerant of me, by the way. I do feel very comfortable around you and your family. In a world where I'm constantly restraining myself, you have no idea how valuable it is to me to be able to be myself with other people and just relax and have fun for once. It's nice to be around people and know that for once, no matter what I do or what weird crap I say or what I fidget with or how often I get up and walk around... That just for once, I can do what I want, say what I want, around other people... And it's going to be okay.

That's an amazing feeling for me, and it's rare to get to enjoy it.

It means a lot to me. Thank you.