Protect Our Children

[Sync]

Hi eb. I hadn't seen this thread before now... there are few things I hate more than the idea of someone who is supposed to be responsible for another human being abusing that position. The statistic you produced about the percentage of perps who were biological parents disgusts me, but does not surprise me (sadly). We live in a messed up world. I'm glad there are still people trying to move it in the right direction.

to you and your cause.

[ebsoria]

As a victim myself I thank you for your efforts.

Victim.. or survivor??

[Southstander]

As a victim myself I thank you for your efforts.

[Foez]

Thank you for sharing, eb.

I'd like to add to the bolded: It is NOT your fault.

As I said, mine was emotional/mental abuse.

I was loved. I was not beaten. My parents were alcoholics. They physically fought each other, drawing blood. Arguments, name calling. Shoes that made my toes curl because they were too small because the little money we had went to buy booze.

Begging my dad to put the gun away.

Helping him to drive straight because he couldn't see straight.

Keeping my mom from beating someone up (she was a mean drunk). No one else would or could because they were afraid of her. I was the only one who could control her.

Isolation.


It took years to overcome. I still fight through some things.

Like eb, I make sure that my kids are safe. They've never seen me drunk (gave it up when they were babies) and they don't remember their dad as a drunk (he's a recovering alcoholic). They hear "I love you" a lot. I hear it from them.

There are groups that help kids with alcoholic parents. I never went to them, but you can be smarter than I was. Ask for help.

I went to one of those groups. It didn't help. My mom would go to Alanon (the group for adults with an alcholic significant other) and I would go to alateen (the one for kids). I'm with you 100% on the subject peanut...if a kid has an alcholic in their life help them. Even if they don't ask for it. Another thing I feel very strongly about is bullying. These days I'm 6'2 and weigh from 190-200 but in elementry and Jr high I was the smallest kid in the grade. Kids would follow me walking home and push and shove and one even drop kicked me (yes drop kick pro wrestling style). I never had anyone to make fun of myself and on top of that I pride myself on being a "nice" person and hate myself when I bring someone down because I know what it feels like. These days if I come across a lid catching Hell from someone ill make fun of that person to bring their ego down and help the kid feel better. All of you who have kids if they come hone saying they were getting bullied don't say the usual "just laugh it off", "its not as bad as you think", "they have issues themselves", or any of that. Help them because not everytime but sometimes when a kid commits suicide from bullying its because they truly believe they had nowhere to turn. I just thank god for music, movies, and video games (mostly zelda lol)

[ebsoria]

Thank you for sharing, eb.

I'd like to add to the bolded: It is NOT your fault.

As I said, mine was emotional/mental abuse.

I was loved. I was not beaten. My parents were alcoholics. They physically fought each other, drawing blood. Arguments, name calling. Shoes that made my toes curl because they were too small because the little money we had went to buy booze.

Begging my dad to put the gun away.

Helping him to drive straight because he couldn't see straight.

Keeping my mom from beating someone up (she was a mean drunk). No one else would or could because they were afraid of her. I was the only one who could control her.

Isolation.


It took years to overcome. I still fight through some things.

Like eb, I make sure that my kids are safe. They've never seen me drunk (gave it up when they were babies) and they don't remember their dad as a drunk (he's a recovering alcoholic). They hear "I love you" a lot. I hear it from them.

There are groups that help kids with alcoholic parents. I never went to them, but you can be smarter than I was. Ask for help.

Thank you for sharing, Peanut. You are an inspiration and I love you. :hug:

[Peanut]

If my post has touched anything in any survivor, please post your encouragement for other survivors here. If you are a survivor and still feel ashamed, let it out. Whether it be here in an open forum, or in private with someone close to you.. let it out. If you need, feel free to PM me. I am willing to listen and let you let it out. Remember, you are NOT alone. There is help. Just ask for it.

Anywho.. I'll post more later if it helps.

Thank you for sharing, eb.

I'd like to add to the bolded: It is NOT your fault.

As I said, mine was emotional/mental abuse.

I was loved. I was not beaten. My parents were alcoholics. They physically fought each other, drawing blood. Arguments, name calling. Shoes that made my toes curl because they were too small because the little money we had went to buy booze.

Begging my dad to put the gun away.

Helping him to drive straight because he couldn't see straight.

Keeping my mom from beating someone up (she was a mean drunk). No one else would or could because they were afraid of her. I was the only one who could control her.

Isolation.


It took years to overcome. I still fight through some things.

Like eb, I make sure that my kids are safe. They've never seen me drunk (gave it up when they were babies) and they don't remember their dad as a drunk (he's a recovering alcoholic). They hear "I love you" a lot. I hear it from them.

There are groups that help kids with alcoholic parents. I never went to them, but you can be smarter than I was. Ask for help.

[ebsoria]

So, I said I'd share my stories if it helps someone to overcome. I'm gonna preference this by saying- I don't want anyone feeling sorry for me. I don't feel sorry. What I went through has all culminated to become who I am. And I really like the "who" I am.

When I was 2 I began the tennis game of in and out of foster care that became my life. When I was 6 I was fortunate to start living with the couple who eventually took legal guardianship over me when I was 8. That's two years of back and forth between them and the lady who I no longer feel obligated to call "mom".

There's a book out called A Child Called It: One Child's Courage To Survive by David Pelzer. I've read the book twice. It is supposed to be an account of "one of the most severe cases of child abuse in California". I can tell you from personal experience that it get's worse.. much worse.

David's stories are chilling. They are down right scary. But, what's even scarier then that are the un-accounted for cases of child abuse in California.. heck.. in the world.

I'll tell a story now;

Before I moved to Napa I lived in Fort Bragg, California. I vividly remember a few foster families that I lived with. One in particular stands out more then most. My little sister and I were the only "foster" kids one particular family were in charge of. I don't recall what I did to piss them off, but my punishment was to sit in the family room with my back to the back of the recliner that "dad" sat in, facing towards the wall. While I sat there the "family" was having family time watching tv together and eating dinner on the floor. I was not allowed to laugh with them, eat with them, or even make any sort of noise. I laughed at one point. And I was punished. Then I was forced to return to my seat with my back to the chair.

I could hardly sit without comfort but was so afraid to make any noise for fear the belt would be brought out again. But, sat I did. All night as the "family" enjoyed family time and ignored me.

Luckily, my little sister was included in their family time. That is one of the biggest joys in life, is that she was spared, for whatever reason, all the things I remember going through. In all honesty, I don't know if it's that she was spared the pain and abuse so much as she has blocked out all the pain and abuse I went through.

Please.. go let a child in your life know you love them and that you're there to protect them. Not to sound cliche, but they are our future. And we are the ones who are charged with giving them a chance.

If my post has touched anything in any survivor, please post your encouragement for other survivors here. If you are a survivor and still feel ashamed, let it out. Whether it be here in an open forum, or in private with someone close to you.. let it out. If you need, feel free to PM me. I am willing to listen and let you let it out. Remember, you are NOT alone. There is help. Just ask for it.

Anywho.. I'll post more later if it helps.

[ebsoria]

I always knew you were one righteous dude. Knowing that you went through something like this and still have the courage to do what you can to help others only increases my respect for you even more.

Thank you, sir.

[jetrazor74]

Thank you, sir.

One day as this thread ages I'll post a few stories of what I went through. When I was about 15 I finally came to terms with a lot of what I experienced. Now, I am an open book if it helps one child to understand that that problem is/was not them.. it was the abuser.

I always knew you were one righteous dude. Knowing that you went through something like this and still have the courage to do what you can to help others only increases my respect for you even more.

[Peanut]

Thank you, sir.

One day as this thread ages I'll post a few stories of what I went through. When I was about 15 I finally came to terms with a lot of what I experienced. Now, I am an open book if it helps one child to understand that that problem is/was not them.. it was the abuser.

One of the reasons I love you.

[ebsoria]

I knew it had to be high but dam that is just appalling & i'm at a loss for words.

As for the second part, i was unaware of that but i will say good for you for being strong & standing up against these horrific acts.

Thank you, sir.

One day as this thread ages I'll post a few stories of what I went through. When I was about 15 I finally came to terms with a lot of what I experienced. Now, I am an open book if it helps one child to understand that that problem is/was not them.. it was the abuser.

[BroncosFanInPA]

Actually, the numbers for that are quite high. 80% of the perps are biological parents.

I'll say it loud and proud... I am a survivor. And there is help out there.

I knew it had to be high but dam that is just appalling & i'm at a loss for words.

As for the second part, i was unaware of that but i will say good for you for being strong & standing up against these horrific acts.

[ebsoria]

Very sobering stats, eb. And that's physical abuse. It doesn't take in emotional/mental abuse (that's where mine comes in).

I will be wearing a blue ribbon somewhere.


Thank you for what you do.

Thank you, Peanut.

Yes, the mental abuse it hard to track and see. But, as you can attest, it is there and is just as serious as any other form.

All the facts you listed are disturbing but this one that i singled out may be the worst of them all & what's even worse yet is there is probably a high %(i don't know actual #'s) of those that are sexually assaulted by either family members or close friends of the family, somebody that is trusted.

When that type of activity occurs it just makes you sick to think about it & just can't understand how & why people do it.

Actually, the numbers for that are quite high. 80% of the perps are biological parents.

I'll say it loud and proud... I am a survivor. And there is help out there.

[BroncosFanInPA]

*67% of reported sexual assault cases were against juveniles under the age of 18. 36% of all victims were under the age of 12. 1 out of every 7 victims in reported cases were under the age of 6.

All the facts you listed are disturbing but this one that i singled out may be the worst of them all & what's even worse yet is there is probably a high %(i don't know actual #'s) of those that are sexually assaulted by either family members or close friends of the family, somebody that is trusted.

When that type of activity occurs it just makes you sick to think about it & just can't understand how & why people do it.

[Peanut]

Very sobering stats, eb. And that's physical abuse. It doesn't take in emotional/mental abuse (that's where mine comes in).

I will be wearing a blue ribbon somewhere.


Thank you for what you do.