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  • Elders

    I am not quite there yet......like to think I'm a bit young at heart for my age - 30..........


    ............times 2!!!!!

    In the last 10 years I got a lot more first hand experience with my "Elders"......parents that is, and all that comes with aging folks who are nearing their end here. My parents lived long, special lives, but the last part was still very difficult.

    So often we lose sight of our Elders. So often we tune them out. Many get tired of caring for them, and spending time with them. Many forget that these beautiful people were young once as well, and made some new trails in life....not to mention they had something to do with us being here.

    I sometimes take note of older folks, who may be struggling to stay healthy and who have less things in their horizon, but still manage a cute smile, or an inquisitive, curious look at something. I am so hopeful that they are not suffering. They deserve that.

    And we can benefit by taking the time. Just think that, even though they lived in a different time for the mostpart, and even though they are not as conversant about today's technologies and trends and fashions.....well, so what? And if you really take the time, think of the fact that they have seen pretty much everything, and when they sum things up in a one sentence response, that response is loaded with logic! Say they are 80 years old......that little answer has almost 80 years of evaluation and cost/benefit and people impact aspects to it, all handed to you pretty much gift wrapped, and with little fanfare.

    Please take the time. Our Elders may be nearing their end. They may be in some pain. They may not be as fun to be around, because of their condition. BUT they have so much to offer......and so little prescious time. And if nothing else......they deserve some attention.

    Do that for me.....if you can.

  • #2
    There is something about the elder that just blow my mind

    My grandfather is nearing his 90s and I can't even imagine the things he's seen/thought throughout the years. I enjoy talking to him although it's very hard to do so now.

    The wars my grandparents have seen in their 90 years and yet they still live happy
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    Thank you Charger$

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    • #3
      I went to school with a kid named elder which has very little to do with this thread.

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      • #4
        Originally posted by shawinkerpoppin View Post
        I went to school with a kid named elder which has very little to do with this thread.
        hopefully this thread doesn't go in the wrong direction.......I posted it for a reason....

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        • #5
          There was an article in our local paper yesterday, mainly towards the elderly, but to all those who may have to face the fear of dying alone. It was sad but also had a very warm aspect to it, as some folks (who could be affectionately called "Earth's Angels") are doing their part to be there.....basically kind folks who volunteer their time and love so that others do not leaves this world alone. Whether it be:

          "Talking to them. Holding their hands. Perhaps taking them for a drive, maybe to a movie or restaurant. Brushing their hair.

          Sometimes right up to the last breath."

          ~~~~~~

          I haven't read the whole article, because it had such an immediate happy / but sad feel to it. It brought back memories. It gave me hope for those in need, but transported me back to "those days".

          I may consider offering my time to this initiative. I just don't know if I am ready for the pain that may follow.

          But yes, it gives me a great feeling knowing that some people have stepped up.......bless them!

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          • #6
            My dad moved his mother into his house to take care of her in her last few years... I cover when him when I can, not because I want to but because the responsibility is so high. I know it's hard on him. It is definitely something that is learned, what those last few years of life can be like... only experience tells you that one.

            You Can...

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            • #7
              Originally posted by Zealander View Post
              My dad moved his mother into his house to take care of her in her last few years... I cover when him when I can, not because I want to but because the responsibility is so high. I know it's hard on him. It is definitely something that is learned, what those last few years of life can be like... only experience tells you that one.

              You Can...
              Good for you Z.......just my view, but someday you will look back and even better understand what you and your Dad are doing (now). There are no guarantees in life, and one thing is for sure, there are no "for sures" on how we will spend our last days on this earth.

              And when I look back at the visits I made to the care home, to see my Mother (whose last years were far more complicated then that of my Dad's).....who was not always fun to visit.....once she was gone I realized how easy those visits were. And in fact, I wished they could have continued.

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              • #8
                This reminds me of my elderly neighbor who passed two halloweens ago. I stepped in as her primary care provider a year before she went into the home. She was one of the sweetest people you'd ever meet, and actually the first person who ever held me as a baby outside of the hospital. She took care of me when I was little, and I got the chance to do the same for her. It was a fun year, I got to know a lot about her past, and appreciate her sense of humor. One day early on in that year or so she said to me, out nowhere, mind you... "The doctor tells me I don't have the Alzheimer's, I'm just straight senile" and she gives the biggest laugh I'd ever heard in my life. That lady would always tell you straight up how she felt about something. In the end though, it got real real rough as the senility grew into Alzheimer's, some of the saddest moments I've ever witnessed were in those last months.

                In the end what I learned from that year, more than anything, is that it's not the quantity of life you live, but the quality of the life you live.
                :usa: *** God Bless Our Military Men And Women*** :usa:

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                • #9
                  I visited often and spent some time as my mother was dying of cancer and my dad was taking care of her. That was not a good time but shortly after she died he got it and then I took off and took care of him. It was a very trying times especially with him. To watch this strong man who was always independent not be able to do some of the most basic functioning things in the end just really upset me especially because I knew how much it upset him. I will not go into specific details about the above because that is personnal and doesn't belong here. The one thing that both of them blew me away with was the way they faced it. Both were very up front about it and accepted it when they had too. They both went through it all and face it head on. I only hope when it comes my time that I can be half as strong as they were.
                  My Boss is a Jewish Carpenter

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Frenchy180 View Post
                    This reminds me of my elderly neighbor who passed two halloweens ago. I stepped in as her primary care provider a year before she went into the home. She was one of the sweetest people you'd ever meet, and actually the first person who ever held me as a baby outside of the hospital. She took care of me when I was little, and I got the chance to do the same for her. It was a fun year, I got to know a lot about her past, and appreciate her sense of humor. One day early on in that year or so she said to me, out nowhere, mind you... "The doctor tells me I don't have the Alzheimer's, I'm just straight senile" and she gives the biggest laugh I'd ever heard in my life. That lady would always tell you straight up how she felt about something. In the end though, it got real real rough as the senility grew into Alzheimer's, some of the saddest moments I've ever witnessed were in those last months.

                    In the end what I learned from that year, more than anything, is that it's not the quantity of life you live, but the quality of the life you live.
                    Good on you Frenchy!

                    Originally posted by FL BRONCO View Post
                    I visited often and spent some time as my mother was dying of cancer and my dad was taking care of her. That was not a good time but shortly after she died he got it and then I took off and took care of him. It was a very trying times especially with him. To watch this strong man who was always independent not be able to do some of the most basic functioning things in the end just really upset me especially because I knew how much it upset him. I will not go into specific details about the above because that is personnal and doesn't belong here. The one thing that both of them blew me away with was the way they faced it. Both were very up front about it and accepted it when they had too. They both went through it all and face it head on. I only hope when it comes my time that I can be half as strong as they were.


                    Same here......both of my folks amazed me near the end. I wondered how these elderly folks could be so tough.....it's hard to even think about it.

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                    • #11
                      Having lost both my "elders"

                      Enjoy them, learn from them, and help them when the need it. You never know when you will not have them there, and you never see it coming, or are ready for it.
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                      • #12
                        good luck,everyone!

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by EddieMac View Post
                          Having lost both my "elders"

                          Enjoy them, learn from them, and help them when they need it. You never know when you will not have them there, and you never see it coming, or are ready for it.
                          Well said my friend......

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                          • #14
                            On the 6th I went to Florida to visit my Grandpa. He just turned 90 a few days ago but saying as how I haven't seen him in a good 11 or 12 years it was my first real chance to get to know him as a man and show him the kind of man I am because I had just turned 27. He was a good man and lived a hell of a life including fighting in WW2, being a leather head, and building a house for his family himself. I'm thankful I got to see him and talk to him one last time and it was fun. With my mom and all my aunts and uncles talking about all the memories and blah blah blah me and him were discussing sports. Walking into his "apartment" the first thing I noticed was he wrote down a list of baseball games he wanted to watch that day. I respect the hell out of the man and no doubt when ultimate comes he will be in a much better place. One of my favorite memories will forever be him showing me pictures of his unit in WW2 and pictures of when he played semi pro football as a leatherhead.
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                            Originally posted by kishzilla
                            You truly are a special kind of strange ha ha ha.
                            You damn right!

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                            • #15
                              Wow Can, you never cease to amaze me with the threads you make. My best friend lost his grandfather tonight to an ongoing battle with cancer and respiratory problems. We sat around for a few hours tonight getting drunk and reminiscing about the old fart. He was still so sharp and had a wealth of things to share with us every time we went in to see him. It really made me appreciate my own grandfather and at the same time made me feel horrible because I definitely don't spend enough time with him and my gram.

                              I'm not going to let myself take the little time they have left for granted. Pap always has some crazy summer project going on and I can't wait to help him work on them and spend the time. We built a really funny overly-elaborate bird feeder last year complete with squirrel and bear protection. He's definitely the person I think I get most of my creativity from. Can't wait to see what we get into this year. Thanks Can.

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