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This thread is for all us parents on these boards. I hope it's a forum for talking about the joys & challenges of being a parent. Not so much about parenting style or strategy, more about sharing our experiences as parents.
For instance, I'm a father of two adolescent boys ages 12 & 14. They both look like me & the oldest even acts much like I remember acting as a kid. They are my pride & joy and bring so much meaning to my life I can't describe it adequately. It's like trying to describe the grandeur of the Grand Canyon to someone who has never been there, or like explaining what it's like to be in love to someone who has yet to experience that emotion. I am so grateful to be "Dad" to my boys. This is the whole "can't live without them" angle in the thread title.
The "can't live through them" angle is my attempt to get to what I find to be a very significant challenge, personally. As I said, my boys look like me & even act like me. They like many of the things I like, do many of the things I do (or did as a kid) - but they are not me. Sometimes it's easy to remember that - like when they talk about loving math (I can barely add in my head).
Sometimes, it's not so easy to keep things straight. I coach my oldest son in soccer (a sport I grew up playing), and do my best to not live vicariously through his accomplishments & struggles in the sport. I take joy when he does something significant in the course of a game & suffer agonizing disappointment when he screws something up. Thus far, though, I'd like to think I am able to keep my identity separate from him. I sure hope I do, at least. I think my experience is shared (at least with the other dad I coach alongside) based on my observations and interactions with the other parents I see on the sidelines.
If you're a parent, I bet you can understand where I'm coming from. If you're not yet a parent...you will.
For instance, I'm a father of two adolescent boys ages 12 & 14. They both look like me & the oldest even acts much like I remember acting as a kid. They are my pride & joy and bring so much meaning to my life I can't describe it adequately. It's like trying to describe the grandeur of the Grand Canyon to someone who has never been there, or like explaining what it's like to be in love to someone who has yet to experience that emotion. I am so grateful to be "Dad" to my boys. This is the whole "can't live without them" angle in the thread title.
The "can't live through them" angle is my attempt to get to what I find to be a very significant challenge, personally. As I said, my boys look like me & even act like me. They like many of the things I like, do many of the things I do (or did as a kid) - but they are not me. Sometimes it's easy to remember that - like when they talk about loving math (I can barely add in my head).
Sometimes, it's not so easy to keep things straight. I coach my oldest son in soccer (a sport I grew up playing), and do my best to not live vicariously through his accomplishments & struggles in the sport. I take joy when he does something significant in the course of a game & suffer agonizing disappointment when he screws something up. Thus far, though, I'd like to think I am able to keep my identity separate from him. I sure hope I do, at least. I think my experience is shared (at least with the other dad I coach alongside) based on my observations and interactions with the other parents I see on the sidelines.
If you're a parent, I bet you can understand where I'm coming from. If you're not yet a parent...you will.
But hey your kids look up to you & will often copy things you do or follow similar patterns you have but it's ok as long as they have some of their own style & personality also.
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