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Children, can't live through them; can't live without them

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  • Foez
    replied
    All kids are the same but different. I've heard a radio commercial lately where the lady is saying "I'll never forget when my son yelled 'I hate you' and slammed the door in my face" and sadly the commercial is all about some business to get kids to act right. Is that a terrible kid like the commercial says or is it just a teenager? It's good to read what you guys are saying because you actually care about your kids. Too many people I see don't. I don't think I'll ever have kids...I just can't see it. But, if I did...I would do my absolute best to teach them as best as possible whether it be through tough love (which is what I mostly got) or just sitting down and talking with them. Parents can actually live through their kids and manipulate them into actually listening they just have to remember what they were like as kids and not have such a developed mind.

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  • BroncosFanInPA
    replied
    I know what you mean, i have 3 kids two boys age 14 & 11 & one daughter age 8 & they bring great joy to my life & i couldn't imagine life without them. Sure they have their moments & can drive you crazy sometimes but that's what makes it interesting.

    The thing that brings me the m ost joy though is when they are happy & having fun & seeing the joy in them because when you choose to have kids then they become #1 in your life & you will give anything for them to try to give them the best life possible.

    I also can relate to the part about them being into or liking some of the same things i do, for example my boys are stupid crazy into football & hate the steelers much like i do, of course the wife says i brain washed them. But hey your kids look up to you & will often copy things you do or follow similar patterns you have but it's ok as long as they have some of their own style & personality also.

    Kids truly are great & anybody who has kids knows that & i think this is a really cool topic even if there aren't alot of members on here that fall into this category. Good thread! CP to you.

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  • InElwayWeTrust
    replied
    I will never have kids.


    I know how horrible I was/am for my parents and would never want to go through that!

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  • Remedy
    replied
    as a certified man-child feel free to feed me... I miss home cooked meals.

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  • CanDB
    replied
    I understand what you are saying bud. My kids are grown up now (although I still worry about them and try to influence their decisions on a regular basis) but the love for, and living through don't change. I thought that I'd be less worried about their lives as they grew up, but here I am, thinking about both of them as I write. Wondering if they'll take my latest advice. Wondering if it's better if they don't. Hoping they never do need me. But wishing they were here.......close enough to touch them.

    And one thing that has changed a bit, is that they seem to listen more these days, even if they don't admit it. Then again, as I mentioned, I hope they don't need my help, because then I know that they have learned to ride that bike of life, or swim in the sea alone....which is all we ever want for our kids....I think. Being able to live without us.

    Sometimes I really wish they didn't think or feel the same way I do, because then I would not feel so sensitive about their situations, knowing the exact pain or the anguish from personal experience. But that would rob us of that special bond, wouldn't it.......

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  • Children, can't live through them; can't live without them

    This thread is for all us parents on these boards. I hope it's a forum for talking about the joys & challenges of being a parent. Not so much about parenting style or strategy, more about sharing our experiences as parents.

    For instance, I'm a father of two adolescent boys ages 12 & 14. They both look like me & the oldest even acts much like I remember acting as a kid. They are my pride & joy and bring so much meaning to my life I can't describe it adequately. It's like trying to describe the grandeur of the Grand Canyon to someone who has never been there, or like explaining what it's like to be in love to someone who has yet to experience that emotion. I am so grateful to be "Dad" to my boys. This is the whole "can't live without them" angle in the thread title.

    The "can't live through them" angle is my attempt to get to what I find to be a very significant challenge, personally. As I said, my boys look like me & even act like me. They like many of the things I like, do many of the things I do (or did as a kid) - but they are not me. Sometimes it's easy to remember that - like when they talk about loving math (I can barely add in my head).

    Sometimes, it's not so easy to keep things straight. I coach my oldest son in soccer (a sport I grew up playing), and do my best to not live vicariously through his accomplishments & struggles in the sport. I take joy when he does something significant in the course of a game & suffer agonizing disappointment when he screws something up. Thus far, though, I'd like to think I am able to keep my identity separate from him. I sure hope I do, at least. I think my experience is shared (at least with the other dad I coach alongside) based on my observations and interactions with the other parents I see on the sidelines.

    If you're a parent, I bet you can understand where I'm coming from. If you're not yet a parent...you will.
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