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So I Tried Bath Salts Last Night....

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  • So I Tried Bath Salts Last Night....

    I wanted to see what the big deal is, so I stopped off at Bed, Bath, and Beyond, and picked up some of the much maligned bath salts. Not being sure what I was looking for, I bought a large basket with a variety of "flavors".



    I must admit, as I ran the bath, I was pretty nervous. What would happen if I too lost control, and had an overwhelming desire for raw flesh?

    After looking at my choices, I started with "lavender". It had a slight purple color, and smelled like flowers. I started off with half the recommended amount, I wanted to ease into the experience. As I soaked, the only desire I had was to light a candle and curl up with a good book. Hmm. No transformation into an evil dead was evident. I upped the dose. The only overwhelming feeling I had was one of deep relaxation. Maybe Lavender wasn't the demon drug I was expecting.

    Somewhat confused and disappointed, I drained the bath. I decided to try one of the other varieties. I decided to go with "Mountain Sage". It had a sinister green tint to it, almost the color I'd image rotting flesh would have. Surely this would turn me into a soulless flesh craving monster! As the smell of a sage meadow after a light rain filled the room, my mind wandered. I started wondering who the target of my insatiable desire for brains would be. Not my neighbors, they are decidedly lacking in that area. I think a teacher lives on my street. He probably has a nice tasting brain. Maybe the nice couple on the other side of the ally. They seemed like they have firm, healthy brains. I’ll bet that fat guy on the other block’s brain has real nice marbling.

    After about a full hour just soaking in the salts, I started to wonder if there was something wrong with me. No wicked urges, no dark desires, the only bad feelings I had was disappointment in the $14.95 I wasted on a nice bottle of Chianti.

    But wait just a minute…

    My stomach started to growl. As I soaked, the growling got more and more insistent. I started to feel something – Hunger. I started to have a real, strong desire. A desire for something fleshy, something raw.

    So, I got out, got dressed, and went to the local Japanese restaurant. After about 8 pieces of sashimi, I went home satisfied.

    So, all in all, not quite the life altering experience I was expecting, but an interesting night to be sure. Would I recommend bath salts to my friends? Only if they want a pleasant relaxing experience that leaves your skin soft and smooth, and your body refreshed. If you are looking for a night of horror, blood, guts, and brains, I’d probably look elsewhere.
    Last edited by PowderAddict; 06-08-2012, 10:55 AM.

  • #2
    LML!! NICE!!!
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    • #3
      :usa: *** God Bless Our Military Men And Women*** :usa:

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      Adopted Bronco 2015 CJ Anderson

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      • #4
        That whole wine vibe I got in this post just reminds me of this scene from A Scanner Darkly...

        The Browns are gone; I'm not a fan of the Impostors

        The real Browns are in Baltimore, see?

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        • #5
          That is great. Made me laugh this morning. CP to ya.......
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          Samparnell - Adopted Coach & Mentor
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          • #6
            You write that yourself? Best thing I've seen all day!
            Thanks, Reid!
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            Click on my sig to read JetRazor's and my story. Or PM me with any questions.

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            • #7
              I wanted to share my experience, so you all know what to expect. Doing my part to help the community and all.

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              • #8
                I'm going to get a bunch of these bath salts & go to a public pool & then when the lifegaurds aren't looking i will dump them into the pool & if possible the pool's filter. :thumb:
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                • #9
                  The Miami dude was trippin on LSD, not bath salts. Get your facts straight!


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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by getlynched47 View Post
                    The Miami dude was trippin on LSD, not bath salts. Get your facts straight!
                    Come on, don't spoil the fun.
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                    • #11
                      Uhm, yeah, I'm kind of freaked out right now.

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                      Thank you to my grandfather jetrazor for being a veteran of the armed forces!

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                      • #12
                        Still though, different media outlets are blaming bath salts for the incident in FL....



                        Zombie Apocalypse: Are bath salts to blame?

                        The Zombie Apocalypse continues!
                        First, there was that horrific incident in Florida. Now, in Louisiana’s Lafayette Parish, someone else has gone and bitten a man’s face. In Miami, a “copycat zombie” gnawed some paint off a cop car. And each time, something dreadful called “bath salts” might have been involved.
                        One story is a horrifying, isolated incident. Two are a copycat. Three are a Bona Fide Bath Salts Zombie Apocalypse.
                        What on earth is happening?
                        People, stop eating each other. Stop eating cop cars, for that matter. Everyone calm down.
                        The heading “Zombie Apocalypse” is proving handy. Before, these were isolated crime-page incidents that didn’t float to the scummy top of the news. But now we have a whole category for Horrific Inhuman Crimes: File them under zombie.
                        http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/...L3LV_blog.html
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                        • #13
                          You salty man you!!!

                          Hope you liked your dinner....

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by getlynched47 View Post
                            The Miami dude was trippin on LSD, not bath salts. Get your facts straight!
                            There have been more than one zombie eposidode.lately --->

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                            • #15
                              So I take it this was you?

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                              Originally posted by kishzilla
                              You truly are a special kind of strange ha ha ha.
                              You damn right!

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