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Using Depression as an Excuse

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  • #16
    I made a thread just like this a year ago.

    http://forums.denverbroncos.com/show...ser&highlight=

    Check it out.

    You know what happened? He actually did start going to a community college. Then only after a few months he just stopped going and failed all his classes. This essentially made him ineligible for financial aid so now his shots at college are gone.

    He's had jobs and stuff but he still has never been able to keep one. In fact he just lost his job after 1 month for being late an hour to work. He has no work ethic and is riding on the coat tails of relatives and friends.

    What I've come to realize is that nothing will change him and you are just better off accepting him for who he is and not get caught up in enabling any of the habits he has that you don't like.

    In short, you can't help someone that won't help themselves. I know the job market is tough and all but it seems like to me he's a lazy person hasn't put much effort into finding a job in the first place. Because 4 years without one is sort of sad.

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    • #17
      And if you want to help him on the job hunt than that's great but like I said above, you can't help a person that won't help themselves.

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      • #18
        Originally posted by xX-Bronco-Xx View Post
        I made a thread just like this a year ago.

        http://forums.denverbroncos.com/show...ser&highlight=

        Check it out.

        You know what happened? He actually did start going to a community college. Then only after a few months he just stopped going and failed all his classes. This essentially made him ineligible for financial aid so now his shots at college are gone.

        He's had jobs and stuff but he still has never been able to keep one. In fact he just lost his job after 1 month for being late an hour to work. He has no work ethic and is riding on the coat tails of relatives and friends.

        What I've come to realize is that nothing will change him and you are just better off accepting him for who he is and not get caught up in enabling any of the habits he has that you don't like.

        In short, you can't help someone that won't help themselves. I know the job market is tough and all but it seems like to me he's a lazy person hasn't put much effort into finding a job in the first place. Because 4 years without one is sort of sad.
        Yah as much as he is my best friend, he is kind of lazy. But as far as failing community college, I know that if my buddy got into college and applied himself he would do well. He was an A and B student in highschool and pretty much never got a 'C'. That is what I find frustrating.

        I feel like he is not helping himself, and I guess the best I can do is pray that he will apply himself. He's a very passive person, he almost never gets angry so that was kind of interesting I thought. I think that could be part of the reason he is so laid back as a person. I like that about him as a friend, but I also wish he was more of a doer, and an action-oriented person than he is. Perhaps I can find a way to motivate him by showing him all of the cool stuff I bought from having a job.
        sigpic

        "Maybe if he had an iron suit or a magic hammer...."

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        • #19
          Originally posted by broncoFan! View Post
          Yah as much as he is my best friend, he is kind of lazy. But as far as failing community college, I know that if my buddy got into college and applied himself he would do well. He was an A and B student in highschool and pretty much never got a 'C'. That is what I find frustrating.

          I feel like he is not helping himself, and I guess the best I can do is pray that he will apply himself. He's a very passive person, he almost never gets angry so that was kind of interesting I thought. I think that could be part of the reason he is so laid back as a person. I like that about him as a friend, but I also wish he was more of a doer, and an action-oriented person than he is. Perhaps I can find a way to motivate him by showing him all of the cool stuff I bought from having a job.
          Yeah it's definitely frustrating seeing your best friend look like he is completely wasting away his life, but it really is one of those things where you just got to let him be, but nudging him in the right direction is always fine. The question is will he follow that? He really just needs to find a passion for something and that is something he needs to do on his own and I can totally relate to what you are going through having to watch in the sidelines.

          That could completely backfire and make it look like you are gloating. The helping him get on the job hunt seems to be a better option for ya.

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