Am I wrong

[Sam_Z]

Ok so for the past couple years I've had some roommates move in, this afternoon I get up out of bed after working a very long night shift. I find that the handle to my sliding door is ripped off again. This door leads to my patio. I just replaced it with in the last 6 months after one of these guys previously broke it. They like to go outside all night and smoke but yet they are so careless and have zero respect for anything that does not belong to them.

Just less than a week ago I came home to find that my swamp cooler was turned off but yet the pump was left running dry (no water) now it makes a loud ringing sound when I turn it on. Anyway to make a long story short I just had a big argument with all four roommates, according to them, they say "it isn't a big deal and let it go"... Am I in the wrong here, am I making a mountain into a mole hill by getting in there faces and telling, (not asking) them to take better care of my place and respect my home? These are grown ppl who shouldn't have to be told but I guess with that idea I am wrong as well because they sure as heck need to be told but they just blow.me off and say quit complaining.

[underrated29]

Nah. Id, make they pay for it personally.

Id be like, look fellas, we are all cool but my stuff is my stuff and I dont like it broken and I dont have the funds to keep fixing things when they break. So just letting everyone know if you break it expect to pay to fix it. cuz next time you will.

[HUMCALC]

No, you're in the right. Make them pay you back or find some better roommates

[Peanut]

They're right (sarcasm). As long as it's your things getting broken, it's no big deal.

Nah. Id, make they pay for it personally.

Id be like, look fellas, we are all cool but my stuff is my stuff and I dont like it broken and I dont have the funds to keep fixing things when they break. So just letting everyone know if you break it expect to pay to fix it. cuz next time you will.

I agree with this ( ).

I tell my kids, if you break the other person's toy, you have to give her one of yours. How would that work with your roommates?

Expect them to threaten to move out. They sound a bit immature.

[samparnell]

In shared property, the one who breaks it is responsible for replacing/repairing it. Those who don't believe and follow this are unworthy roommates.

[ebsoria]

Nah. Id, make they pay for it personally.

Id be like, look fellas, we are all cool but my stuff is my stuff and I dont like it broken and I dont have the funds to keep fixing things when they break. So just letting everyone know if you break it expect to pay to fix it. cuz next time you will.

This right here is how you handle it.

[BroncoFanNC]

They like to go outside all night and smoke but yet they are so careless and have zero respect for anything that does not belong to them.

You've described the attitude of many a renters. I'm assuming this is why the deposit was invented.

4 roommates? Are they paying for your entire house mortgage/rent or whatever? Or is it split evenly 5 ways?

My mother-in-law runs several houses, and has a big heart so rents to people that are on bad times a lot. She ends up getting stuck with horribly overdue power and water bills and such, and plenty of times has had to pay more than the deposit is worth, not to mention the months of underpaying rent. Eventually she kicks them out and trys some new renters.

If you are living a lot more comfortably because of the extra income, i'd be a little less annoyed at a broken handle and such. Now if they are causing an extreme amount of damage that is seriously dampening your bank account, then kick em out or raise the rent.

If someone is renting, assume they don't care about your stuff (counteract this with a deposit or increased rent that leaves you a profit to put back into the house), because there are plenty that don't. Then you can be pleasantly surprised if they do care.

[AZ bronco]

just kick them in the groin and say, "no big thing".

[dizzolve]

Ok so for the past couple years I've had some roommates move in, this afternoon I get up out of bed after working a very long night shift. I find that the handle to my sliding door is ripped off again. This door leads to my patio. I just replaced it with in the last 6 months after one of these guys previously broke it. They like to go outside all night and smoke but yet they are so careless and have zero respect for anything that does not belong to them.

Just less than a week ago I came home to find that my swamp cooler was turned off but yet the pump was left running dry (no water) now it makes a loud ringing sound when I turn it on. Anyway to make a long story short I just had a big argument with all four roommates, according to them, they say "it isn't a big deal and let it go"... Am I in the wrong here, am I making a mountain into a mole hill by getting in there faces and telling, (not asking) them to take better care of my place and respect my home? These are grown ppl who shouldn't have to be told but I guess with that idea I am wrong as well because they sure as heck need to be told but they just blow.me off and say quit complaining.

Really it depends if they know the deal up front or not. I'm quite sure none of them want a list of rules but if that's what it takes - sometimes you have to be the bad guy. Even if you can't afford to live there without their helping with the bills - the buck stops with you - so you have every right to say how it is. As long as they know up front - if it gets messed up then it is totally their fault. If they don't get it find another room mate

It's hard to find a good room mate. I just got done with a real beaut. This dude had serious personal issues and his careless attitude overflowed into my belongings - he's gone. I'm giving another one a try. I might have found a good one this time - but you never know.

For some room mates I've had there was a rule - no one touches the climate controls but me. Because people would turn the air on and dial it down to 60 then open the windows then leave for the day. ......

Good luck converting these room mates into responsible thoughtful people OR finding suitable replacements. It's not easy. Don't let them walk all over you though - like I said the buck stops with you so it is your responsibility. Tell them when they mess up - it messes you up and if they don't respect it- you might as well give them notice because they don't care about you or your stuff.

[Sophia23]

If it's your house, and they say it's no big deal... it's because it's your property they're destroying not theirs. They break it, they should pay for it. I don't know how many room-mates you go through, or if you have them do a damage deposit....I would consider doing a damage deposit when they move in though, if they don't pay for what they break deduct it from their deposit. I don't know about room-mates, the last time I had one was about twenty years ago... so I'm probably not one to talk. But I know the renters in my area are not always respectful of others property, many of them don't take care of the places they live in because their renting.... then I worry about what their carelessness does to my homes value.... sort of along the same tracks, maybe not.

[PowderAddict]

Did you have any agreement up front how to handle damages?

Maybe split repairs all 5 ways regardless of who breaks it. They may be more careful having to worry about the other 4 guys getting pissed at having to pay for something that didn't break

[Hadez]

We can all tell you how we would handle it and honestly I have seen some great examples so far.

You need to lay down rules you are comfortable with and discuss it with them. If you are ok with changing anything then cool...If not then tell them what is a must for you. If they can not handle it then I suggest a parting of ways because you will not feel comfortable and arguments will keep going on.

Like kind of touched on earlier by the poster talking about if they are paying for all of the property expenses or not (rent or whatever) you may be getting a benefit that allows you to deal with certain levels of stuff you may not otherwise deal with.

Perfect example is my girlfriend I live with. She is 23 and since she has never had her own place or her own stuff nor has she had parents show her how to handle her own stuff...well lets just say she does allot of things that can drive some people mad.

We talk...we try to work things out.

As long as her young body is mine I will probably keep putting up with some of the crap...least until I tire of the physical stuff.

[CanDB]

Did you have any agreement up front how to handle damages?

Maybe split repairs all 5 ways regardless of who breaks it. They may be more careful having to worry about the other 4 guys getting pissed at having to pay for something that didn't break

I basically agree with Powder on this. This is all about respecting one's property, and apparently one or more of these folks don't understand that. Effective immediately I'd communicate that damage caused by these individuals will be charged back to them.......to the individual if it can be proven, or split among the group of them, if no one admits to the incident. Hopefully they will appreciate the need to respect your property going forward, and if not, time to find other mates. And if so, you need to initiate a damage policy right from the get go.

Good luck on this. Tell them you have the support of a lot of people on this, who appreciate what it means to be a responsible adult. But at the same time, address the issue respectfully as well, by making it clear that you are dealing with a group of mature individuals, and that you want them to stick around....and that you expect a bright future together.

[darth-hideous]

I'd urinate all over their beds and say" no big deal". Probably sleep with their girlfriends too it's not big deal, or crush their smokes it's no big deal. But then again I wouldn't have room mates tried that once, once was enough.

[Louich]

Happend to me once. I started to explain how I pay for my things and I would like to keep em in good shape so please be careful and treat it as you paid it.

Did not work.

I then asked them to pay for thing that were broken or abused.

Did ot work also.


Everthing stoped or slowed down quickly when suddently (we were all roomates) things they owed got trashed and misued... Guess what happend ? They started to say ot was not okay to do theses things to their possessions and I answered: But it fine with mine ?

They understood what I meant and they started to take better care of my things.