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Do You Hold a Grudge?

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  • Do You Hold a Grudge?

    Yes or no? Right now I have about 6 different grudges going. Some hurt me, others hurt my family
    11
    Yes
    63.64%
    7
    No
    36.36%
    4
    "Happiness is just an illusion, filled with sadness and confusion." Jimmy Ruffin

  • #2
    Originally posted by HUMCALC View Post
    Yes or no? Right now I have about 6 different grudges going. Some hurt me, others hurt my family
    No and while I do understand and feel sorry for your situation I personally feel holding grudges is a bad way to live life.

    I'm not judging but me personally being angry about stuff is no fun. I want to get along and have fun with everybody. And I hate dwelling on things in the past that only make me miserable.

    I don't even like ending the day with an argument with my wife. I prefer to try to resolve things before bed and not go to bed angry. I sleep better.

    After I calm down away from whatever made me angry I feel guilty and usually feel like the argument was pointless.

    But I guess I'm lucky an spoiled and never had someone do me wrong to that extent that major impacted my life in a negative way. So I have no reason to hold grudges.

    I understand why some people do. They just aren't for me.
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    • #3
      Yes, I do.
      The Browns are gone; I'm not a fan of the Impostors

      The real Browns are in Baltimore, see?

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      • #4
        Life is to short. Somethings need to be blown off while others ignored. Maybe it is because I am getting older/wiser and I don't have time in my life to have these negative thoughts.

        I don't get mad, I get even................, and then some.
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        Samparnell - Adopted Coach & Mentor
        2016 Adopted Bronco - Derek Wolfe
        2014 Adopted Bronco - DeMarcus Ware - 2015 Adopted Bronco - Von Miller

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        • #5
          Originally posted by one_bad_55 View Post
          Life is to short. Somethings need to be blown off while others ignored. Maybe it is because I am getting older/wiser and I don't have time in my life to have these negative thoughts.

          I don't get mad, I get even................, and then some.
          I agree. I used to hold them (heck I'm a female - it's in our DNA) but as I've gotten older I've found it easier to let things go. Because its just not worth it. Shrug it off and move on.

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          • #6
            I've found that holding grudges usually accomplishes nothing. If anything, it can just make things more uncomfortable or miserable for yourself.

            Just find other ways to make yourself happy, and try not to worry about other people's actions.

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            • #7
              Originally posted by orangenblue420 View Post
              I agree. I used to hold them (heck I'm a female - it's in our DNA) but as I've gotten older I've found it easier to let things go. Because its just not worth it. Shrug it off and move on.
              True.

              I try not to. My mom did and it's a hard habit to break. I think it depends on how deep the hurt is. Most things, no grudges.
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              • #8
                I try to give people a chance to make things right. If I reach out to them, and do my best to make the situation better, and they do not make an effort to right the ship, I try not hold a grudge..... but I am not going to waste much more time with them either. There are too many good folks out there, who I would much rather spend my time with.

                All in all, if a person has wronged me and makes up for it, even with a short but heartfelt apology, I melt pretty easy.

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                • #9
                  I'm like an elephant when it comes to my grudges
                  "Happiness is just an illusion, filled with sadness and confusion." Jimmy Ruffin

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by HUMCALC View Post
                    I'm like an elephant when it comes to my grudges
                    I think you know this......but not a good thing. Easy to say on my part, but it's better to move on when you can.

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                    • #11
                      I go by a 3-strikes and you are out process-- then I hold a grudge after letting the first 2 go.
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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Rancid View Post
                        I go by a 3-strikes and you are out process-- then I hold a grudge after letting the first 2 go.
                        I gave some of them a 2nd chance, but that's all. Holding a grudge is one thing that I do well
                        "Happiness is just an illusion, filled with sadness and confusion." Jimmy Ruffin

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by CanDB View Post
                          I try to give people a chance to make things right. If I reach out to them, and do my best to make the situation better, and they do not make an effort to right the ship, I try not hold a grudge..... but I am not going to waste much more time with them either. There are too many good folks out there, who I would much rather spend my time with.

                          All in all, if a person has wronged me and makes up for it, even with a short but heartfelt apology, I melt pretty easy.
                          It's a good way to look at things. At life.

                          I have situations, though, where I don't think there's been a wrong done, yet a person will hold a grudge against me. Talking doesn't do any good. After awhile, I just smile, say hello and continue on.
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                          Asian American and Pacific Islander Heritage Month

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                          "a semicolon is used when an author could've chosen to end their sentence, but chose not to. The author is you and the sentence is your life ; "

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Peanut View Post
                            It's a good way to look at things. At life.

                            I have situations, though, where I don't think there's been a wrong done, yet a person will hold a grudge against me. Talking doesn't do any good. After awhile, I just smile, say hello and continue on.
                            OK then....do you have any idea why they may hold a grudge, rightfully or not? If so, is it possible that you have underestimated what you might have done to cause this, even if you are on the right side of the situation? Sometimes people can misinterpret or misunderstand, even the simplest of words/actions. Sometimes it gets lost in the translation. Maybe it's the nature of the role you have - not saying it's here, but it could definitely happen in this environment, as some folks do not like authority figures regardless of how good they do their job.

                            In the end, you can only do so much, and if people continue to hold a grudge, so be it. You've tried.

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                            • #15
                              No,for the most part I do not. I have found they only waste my time and hurt my mood and outlook. I just wash my hands of people and remove them from my life. I am of the opinion, screw me once shame on you but screw me twice shame on me. People don't really get second chances with me when they do it on purpose. I don't need that in my life.
                              My Boss is a Jewish Carpenter

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