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Do You Hold a Grudge?

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  • #16
    I wouldn't say I hold grudges, but there is a ledger. It's a principle thing. Some would say that I'm narcissistic when it comes to my personal moral code, because I tend to hold others to my own standards. For instance, if I encounter someone who places absolutes on first impressions, I view them as shallow and that goes into the ledger. Not that it completely impacts the way I converse with these people, but it stays in the back of my mind. In other instances, you have people who's social behavior towards individuals is subject to change depending on who's in the room. I.e., their behavior is not based on any moral compass, but social stratification. They clamor for acceptance from whoever they deem to be the alpha or dominant figure in any social circle. These people are indignant in my eyes. It can be very easy for me to write them off.

    Any living human feels a need to be accepted, to be loved. For me, it's simply a matter of whether or not you can overcome that desire and treat people with respect. Those who simply don't give a damn, well, I don't give a damn about you. Karma is in the eye of the beholder, but if something goes wrong, don't look at me for help.


    • #17
      I try to avoid situations that put in the place where I would hold a grudge. I know money is a big one with folks. I don't lend money to people with the attitude that I expect to get it back. I lend with the idea, that I may never see it again so only lend out what I can afford to give away. If they pay me back, I'll lend to them again in the future if I have money to give away. If they don't pay me back, I treat them the same I always have, but when the ask for cash I just say sorry.

      In situations that were outside of my control, I still don't hold grudges. I learned at a young age harboring hate against someone hurts me way more than it hurts them…. for the most part, I just don't care anymore enough to put any effort into a relationship with that person and instead treat them more like I would an acquaintance, I still acknowledge them just don't go out of my way for them.
      Adopted Bronco - 2018/19 - Derek Wolfe
      Adopted Bronco - 2019/20 - Shelby Harris
      Adopted Bronco - 2020/21 - Courtland Sutton
      Adopted Bronco - 2021/22 - Shelby Harris


      • #18
        As Dave said, I lgive a chance and let people do the grown up thing a sort it out with me. If they do not want most of the time it is because 'they did nothing wrong' or I 'did something wrong'.

        In the first reason I let the person go away and have fun else where and grab the chance to be the better man.

        In the latter if I did something wrong I simply apologise or once again I just let the persone walk.

        I used to hold grudges and found out at a later age that it did not help me, made me grow as an individual or made my life more pleasent. Way too much energy invested for nothing and I dont have time or energy to loose on poor realsionships.
        Canadian Denver Bronco Fan #7

        Adopted Broncos:
        -:Mr. Decker:-