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  • Never Enough "Good People"

    Sometimes good people get a bad rap. There are those who try to equate good to "less interesting", "unexciting", "non-leaders", and a host of other characteristics that are basically......."inaccurate".

    To me, good people are those who are trustworthy, loyal, giving, supportive, and unselfish....all to a fairly high degree. Just as above, there are other characteristics that these people possess, but often of the positive nature.

    And before we go too far with this, lets be clear about a myth out there that good folks finish last. I just read the other day that "givers" do rise to the higher levels of organizations (if they have the right other qualities of course) because they have no personal agenda and therefore they can be counted on to seek what's right, not what benefits them. Therefore others want to work with them and for them. Trust me, in my lengthy career I met a lot of "takers", and the issue with them (as bright as they may have seemed) was often related to trying to figure out what their agenda was, on almost every project or task. Do we really have time in our lives to be constantly assessing "what's in it for him or her"???

    In the end, after meeting thousands of people, I can tell you with complete honesty that good people are where it's at. Sometimes they seem too easy to get along with only because, they are easy to get along with. And looking back, I wish I hadn't expected so many people to become good, who really weren't. Sometimes they were people that I, and many others, felt we needed to follow, when the truth was they were not team oriented or in it for others.

    I have good people friends. They are just what I need in this life. And even though I have a ways to go in terms of being a model person, the one thing I pride myself in is surrounding myself with good folks. My partner is an especially good human being, and why she settled for me is still a question mark!

    And believe me, good people can be extremely interesting (just listen and observe), and leaders, and sometimes even outspoken, and quite possibly a little off the wall. They can be many things that we may not associate with "good", in terms of people related features. There is no real stereotype for them, other than they are living life not just for themselves.

    If I could do it all over again I would not change too much in terms of who I hung with, other than to have felt more secure being connected with the good folks way back, and not be worried about image and other fluffy stuff that often blurs the vision.

    Good folks will be there for you, and will make life easier and more enjoyable for you, and for the right reasons.....what can top that!

  • #2
    I've always been told I'm one of those "good people"... that being said, of all the qualities that you list "good people" have, I've always said; Do not mistake my kindness for weakness.

    I've found that those good people can be ruthless in that they unwittingly make you feel like you've let them down in taking advantage of them. It's not mean words, or harsh actions... it's the knowing that you hurt htem when they didn't deserve it, even if they don't know you did.

    Can, you're a good person. That's why your wife "settled" for you. Birds of a feather... right?? :thumb:
    *2011 BCMB Locker Room Division I League Champion*
    *Voted; 2013 & 2015 BCMBA's Scariest Mod*
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    • #3
      This an interesting point.

      You might surprised to find that a person who seemed like he didn't have the time of day for you would actually risk his life to save yours when the chips are down. Sometimes it's not obvious that someone who really is good -to the core- appears that way in your everyday situations. In fact some who are highly skilled in social situations could turn out to be completely self centered when the going gets rough.

      I liken it to Sam from GameOfThrones - if you'll allow the analogy. But not 'Good vs Evil' for Sam ~Coward vs Courageous. When the chips are down, Sam easily shakes his cowardly personality and rises to the occasion as evidenced when he killed the White Walker and also in last week's episode at Castle Black.

      When the chips are down you find out who really is 'who they are'
      The beatings will continue until morale improves....

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      • #4
        Originally posted by ebsoria View Post
        I've always been told I'm one of those "good people"... that being said, of all the qualities that you list "good people" have, I've always said; Do not mistake my kindness for weakness.

        I've found that those good people can be ruthless in that they unwittingly make you feel like you've let them down in taking advantage of them. It's not mean words, or harsh actions... it's the knowing that you hurt htem when they didn't deserve it, even if they don't know you did.

        Can, you're a good person. That's why your wife "settled" for you. Birds of a feather... right?? :thumb:
        Too kind bud.....I have much to work on. But I do stand pat on my ability to find good folks to hang with. And you're a good dude eb.

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        • #5
          Originally posted by CanDB View Post
          Sometimes good people get a bad rap. There are those who try to equate good to "less interesting", "unexciting", "non-leaders", and a host of other characteristics that are basically......."inaccurate".

          To me, good people are those who are trustworthy, loyal, giving, supportive, and unselfish....all to a fairly high degree. Just as above, there are other characteristics that these people possess, but often of the positive nature.

          And before we go too far with this, lets be clear about a myth out there that good folks finish last. I just read the other day that "givers" do rise to the higher levels of organizations (if they have the right other qualities of course) because they have no personal agenda and therefore they can be counted on to seek what's right, not what benefits them. Therefore others want to work with them and for them. Trust me, in my lengthy career I met a lot of "takers", and the issue with them (as bright as they may have seemed) was often related to trying to figure out what their agenda was, on almost every project or task. Do we really have time in our lives to be constantly assessing "what's in it for him or her"???

          In the end, after meeting thousands of people, I can tell you with complete honesty that good people are where it's at. Sometimes they seem too easy to get along with only because, they are easy to get along with. And looking back, I wish I hadn't expected so many people to become good, who really weren't. Sometimes they were people that I, and many others, felt we needed to follow, when the truth was they were not team oriented or in it for others.

          I have good people friends. They are just what I need in this life. And even though I have a ways to go in terms of being a model person, the one thing I pride myself in is surrounding myself with good folks. My partner is an especially good human being, and why she settled for me is still a question mark!

          And believe me, good people can be extremely interesting (just listen and observe), and leaders, and sometimes even outspoken, and quite possibly a little off the wall. They can be many things that we may not associate with "good", in terms of people related features. There is no real stereotype for them, other than they are living life not just for themselves.

          If I could do it all over again I would not change too much in terms of who I hung with, other than to have felt more secure being connected with the good folks way back, and not be worried about image and other fluffy stuff that often blurs the vision.

          Good folks will be there for you, and will make life easier and more enjoyable for you, and for the right reasons.....what can top that!
          Another good one, Can....and though I'd love to contribute to your thought provoking thread, as it is a topic near and dear to my heart, my input might only serve to derail your thread by engaging with those who would assail me for my audacity to suggest I knew anything at all about 'good people', based on their belief that that they actually know who or what I represent from a few hundred comments on an anonymous football message board.

          Good people consider what's in everybody's best interest, not just their own. Fairness is the first order of business for them. They don't gorge themselves on the most expensive meal and finest wine when dining out with friends, and then expect to 'split' the check! And they don't try to stiff the server because their friends have already over-tipped. Good people try to return things they find lying around, rather than consider it "their lucky day". And they would never think that an error on the part of a cashier in giving back too much change is like a lottery win.....'cause they know that cashier will be responsible for the shortage at the end of the day. I could go on and on, but I know you are out there somewhere, nodding in agreement.

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by Mr Bojangles View Post
            Another good one, Can....and though I'd love to contribute to your thought provoking thread, as it is a topic near and dear to my heart, my input might only serve to derail your thread by engaging with those who would assail me for my audacity to suggest I knew anything at all about 'good people', based on their belief that that they actually know who or what I represent from a few hundred comments on an anonymous football message board.

            Good people consider what's in everybody's best interest, not just their own. Fairness is the first order of business for them. They don't gorge themselves on the most expensive meal and finest wine when dining out with friends, and then expect to 'split' the check! And they don't try to stiff the server because their friends have already over-tipped. Good people try to return things they find lying around, rather than consider it "their lucky day". And they would never think that an error on the part of a cashier in giving back too much change is like a lottery win.....'cause they know that cashier will be responsible for the shortage at the end of the day. I could go on and on, but I know you are out there somewhere, nodding in agreement.
            Listen Mr B.....I believe you have a lot to offer here. Your second paragraph is good stuff. I may disagree with you now and then about football related topics, but so what. In this thread, and any of those that are open to you, you have every right to speak your opinion, and in so doing, quite likely add value.

            Come again.....

            (Oh by the way......I am nodding in agreement)
            Last edited by CanDB; 06-13-2014, 06:34 PM.

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            • #7
              So what defines a 'good person'? We each have our own definitions and they vary among us. Furthermore, people's 'goodness' changes based upon their situations. I have had the good fortune to have some business related personality profile training while working for a Fortune 100 company and we learned people have different personalities based on their setting; many are different at work than they are at home and different yet again when say at church or at school or at something like a concert. The trends remain constant but the personality changes with setting. Albert Fish was perceived by many as a good person, which is why he was able to do what he did.

              So how does the term 'good person' fit in your description range?
              sigpic

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              • #8
                Originally posted by Rancid View Post
                So what defines a 'good person'? We each have our own definitions and they vary among us. Furthermore, people's 'goodness' changes based upon their situations. I have had the good fortune to have some business related personality profile training while working for a Fortune 100 company and we learned people have different personalities based on their setting; many are different at work than they are at home and different yet again when say at church or at school or at something like a concert. The trends remain constant but the personality changes with setting. Albert Fish was perceived by many as a good person, which is why he was able to do what he did.

                So how does the term 'good person' fit in your description range?
                I am not going into depth here about definition. The people I refer to are unselfish, caring, there for you when you need them, and able to choose right over wrong far more often than the average person. I would suggest we don't get too deep with this. For as I speak I can visualize people close to me who are "good people". And you know what....it's quite simple why they are described that way.

                I can give you in depth assessments of why some of them are on that list. I can start with my wife if you wish, but why try to prove what I believe is quite obvious to those who know her, or others I refer to?

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