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  • Am I in the wrong here?

    My best friend and I got an apartment together with a 12 month lease that had both of our names in it. We have 3 months left in our lease and he tells me he has to move out. Keep in mind the previous month I had to pay 90% of the rent because he wanted to spend almost an entire month on vacation in Michigan... I've always been under the impression that if your name is on the rent you should pay for your half no matter what life decisions you make but I agreed just to be a nice guy.

    Anyways, now that he wanted to move out he's expecting me to pay for the remainder of the rent on my own while his name is still on the apartment lease. I said that is okay as long you pay for the internet bills for the remainder of the lease and he said okay. Then yesterday he says he has no money to pay July's internet bills so he asked if I could pay for July's and he will pay til October which is the final month of our lease. I apprehensively agreed to this knowing he's full of crap but seeing as he's my best friend I figured I could help him out at least once more..

    Today I paid the July internet bill and told him okay, you can just pay the internet bills until October and we're good. He sends me messages back asking why he should have to pay for it when he hasn't used the internet in forever since his PS3 broke, he shouldn't have to pay for things he never uses...

    I almost flipped out on him saying, I'm the one paying for rent that has both of our names on it and throwing you a bone by not having you remove the name on your lease which you'd be paying huge fines for, the least you could do is pay off the internet pills, which are in your name to begin with. He says fine I'll give you the $150 which will pay off the 3 months rent and then proceeds to get angry with me and calls up all of our friends complaining about this.

    How in the heck am I in the wrong here? I've been doing him so many favors that are actually costing me so much money I shouldn't have to spend in the first place. But he decides to play the victim card here? This is frustrating beyond belief and I can't believe how irresponsible and selfish he's acting.

  • #2
    Yeah i found out the hard way not to room with friends. You are absolutely right and it seems like he will find out the hard way how nice you were to him.
    Glen Haven Fire

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    • #3
      Originally posted by armedequation View Post
      Yeah i found out the hard way not to room with friends. You are absolutely right and it seems like he will find out the hard way how nice you were to him.
      Looks like I'm finding out the hard way also... I'm trying to avoid talking to him for the time being or else I know I'll snap at him and I don't want this friendship to end because of this but I'm straight up sick of being taken advantage of only to find out he is manipulating and talking to other people about this to make it seem like I'm doing something bad.

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      • #4
        Yep.. I've always heard do NOT roomie up with friends. It WILl get ugly.

        You are not wrong, either. Both your names are on the lease, you both are responsible. My understanding, though, is the agreement on how much each pays is between you two. And that if one defaults, you BOTH default, as you both are responsible.
        *2011 BCMB Locker Room Division I League Champion*
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        • #5
          Yeah and its just my opinion but id have a hard time being friends after the manipulation part so i give you props for that!
          Glen Haven Fire

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          • #6
            Originally posted by xX-Bronco-Xx View Post
            My best friend and I got an apartment together with a 12 month lease that had both of our names in it. We have 3 months left in our lease and he tells me he has to move out. Keep in mind the previous month I had to pay 90% of the rent because he wanted to spend almost an entire month on vacation in Michigan... I've always been under the impression that if your name is on the rent you should pay for your half no matter what life decisions you make but I agreed just to be a nice guy.

            Anyways, now that he wanted to move out he's expecting me to pay for the remainder of the rent on my own while his name is still on the apartment lease. I said that is okay as long you pay for the internet bills for the remainder of the lease and he said okay. Then yesterday he says he has no money to pay July's internet bills so he asked if I could pay for July's and he will pay til October which is the final month of our lease. I apprehensively agreed to this knowing he's full of crap but seeing as he's my best friend I figured I could help him out at least once more..

            Today I paid the July internet bill and told him okay, you can just pay the internet bills until October and we're good. He sends me messages back asking why he should have to pay for it when he hasn't used the internet in forever since his PS3 broke, he shouldn't have to pay for things he never uses...

            I almost flipped out on him saying, I'm the one paying for rent that has both of our names on it and throwing you a bone by not having you remove the name on your lease which you'd be paying huge fines for, the least you could do is pay off the internet pills, which are in your name to begin with. He says fine I'll give you the $150 which will pay off the 3 months rent and then proceeds to get angry with me and calls up all of our friends complaining about this.

            How in the heck am I in the wrong here? I've been doing him so many favors that are actually costing me so much money I shouldn't have to spend in the first place. But he decides to play the victim card here? This is frustrating beyond belief and I can't believe how irresponsible and selfish he's acting.
            nah man you've been playing your part as best friend by covering him since hes broke so theres no way you're in the wrong...with that being said ive seen way too many friendships end because of their decision to room together. tread lightly and make the initiation to bury the hatchet money comes and goes but best friends are hard to find

            good luck buddy

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            • #7
              I would tell your friend you are moving out also and you will match whatever he pays. Collection efforts will be on the both of you.

              This takes the pressure off you being the bad guy and puts the stress on him imposed by others.

              Your apartment may require a 30-notice to vacate, make sure you get that in. I would not tell your room mate about that so he can enjoy the extra fees that come with his collection activities.

              I kind of see it as you have a problem that is not going away, but you need to make it his problem too.
              sigpic

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              • #8
                I had a friend do something like this to me one time. Except in my case, he knew he was in the wrong. I gave him back his important personal belongings, and told him just to move on and we were even. I sold the rest of his crap for compensation. Moved my GF into the apartment, and she took up his half of the bills.

                Saw the guy again like five years later, and he asked me if I still had his dresser. I guess it was a family heirloom. lol. Whoops.

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                • #9
                  He said he'd pay me 150 for the three months internet bills and I said that is fine but he has yet to respond with anything after that. More than likely he is going to try and wait it out thinking I'll forget... Your crap is still in my apartment buddy, I'm not forgetting anything lol.

                  We'll see how it goes.

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by xX-Bronco-Xx View Post
                    He said he'd pay me 150 for the three months internet bills and I said that is fine but he has yet to respond with anything after that. More than likely he is going to try and wait it out thinking I'll forget... Your crap is still in my apartment buddy, I'm not forgetting anything lol.

                    We'll see how it goes.
                    Well, his stuff is now in your place... Anything Broncos related or valuable? Tell him that since he has moved out that you have a storage fee at your apartment, and that anything left will be sold to cover his part of unpaid rent.....
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                    • #11
                      Not only are you not in the wrong...there's no reason you should be covering the rent because he's moving out. He should either find a subletter to cover his share, or pay his half. Otherwise, yeah...I would tell him you're moving out too, and actually do it. That way you can find a cheaper place if you're on your own and not feel like you're getting screwed financially. Whatever fees you pay for leaving early, you'll split, and it'll be way cheaper than paying for rent entirely on your own.

                      Also I disagree about the notion that rooming with friends always winds up ending badly. You just need to know the people you're living with very well, and lay out expectations for each other from the start. If everyone goes into it without any real expectations, and maybe you've been friends for a few years but have never spent that much time together...then it could be trouble.
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                      • #12
                        He's taking out all his stuff by this week and he paid me 200 for the internet bills. That's more than I expected and because of his own personal issues that I won't mention here, it looks like that's probably the most I'll be getting. Let me just say he does not have his life in order and he honestly needs serious help in growing up and not acting like a 13 year old.

                        Without a doubt I shouldn't have had to do any of the things I said but I'm willing to let this go. He's going to realize our friendship will not be the same and he's never getting any help from me ever again. I just want him out of my life for a while.

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by RunYouOver View Post
                          Not only are you not in the wrong...there's no reason you should be covering the rent because he's moving out. He should either find a subletter to cover his share, or pay his half. Otherwise, yeah...I would tell him you're moving out too, and actually do it. That way you can find a cheaper place if you're on your own and not feel like you're getting screwed financially. Whatever fees you pay for leaving early, you'll split, and it'll be way cheaper than paying for rent entirely on your own.

                          Also I disagree about the notion that rooming with friends always winds up ending badly. You just need to know the people you're living with very well, and lay out expectations for each other from the start. If everyone goes into it without any real expectations, and maybe you've been friends for a few years but have never spent that much time together...then it could be trouble.
                          I agree with RYO. Your "friend" is responsible for his half of the lease. If he is leaving, he has to either pay his share or help you with vacating the place. You may or may not have signed a deal with him, but for me, it's an understanding that both of you were responsible for the entire 12 months. In fact, he should have paid for the month he was away. That was his choice. You are being way too kind (which tells me you are a good friend!!).

                          And yes, as per RYO, living together with friends is often a great idea! Again, there should be an agreement, even with close ones, as to how things will be handled if folks leave, etc. So many negative stories are told about good situations that go astray, like when one person contributes much more to an arrangement than the other. You don't always need contracts or formal agreements, but if nothing else, I would have a friendly memo that details how things will be handled if a split occurs.

                          Good luck! You are a much better man than many. Hopefully he will learn from this, and repay in some way, shape or form down the road. And yes, I believe you have learned as well.....as they say "lessons learned".

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