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How many of you are control freaks? Believe me, there are many of us, of course at different degrees. I know for a fact in the business world there are too many! Far too many, and often at high levels in the organization. The ones who worried me most were those who micro managed in positions that were needing leadership and strategic savvy more so than snooping into detailed work that was well beneath them. Sure, some may be failing you, but trust some of us!
But I also see the need for some control types. I could expand, but often leadership folks need to exercise a reasonable amount of control. Some environments are weak, and folks do need to step it up in terms of taking the bull by the horns. And at a basic level, control is often a sign of good management.
I wasn't always this way. I was a pretty meek kid, right into my University days. I was easy. I'd go along with most things, and seldom said no if it looked ok. I was more of a follower in those early days. I did well, but I knew I needed to mature and grow.
I guess I made a shift when I began my career. I learned that it was better for me to lead and take control whenever I could, because it made me happier, and provided ownership. It started with simple observations:
- that if I was in sessions where we all had to participate, I'd try to be first to open up. That saved me a lot of stress (getting it over with), and made me look more like a leader, eventually giving me the confidence to speak even more than the minimal levels expected.
- that if my group took on new initiatives that others did not, when offered, we'd be more in control of our destiny, and valued for it
- and yes, if I wanted things done a certain way I knew I'd have to get others to do it my way....not selfishly, but just so it would not go astray
- that if I did not observe what my group was doing in some detail (and this makes a lot of sense), I could never explain how things worked to my superiors, or justify our worth
And as I evolved down this road, there were obvious benefits. I reaped some success in my work world, which of course, added salary and benefits, and did provide me with more confidence and recognition. And I realized that I could go for the better role, the better job, leadership....and that's where control is a nice thing in your corner. At some point one realizes that control is a nice thing to have!
The good news, to this day I still have those feelings of when I was young.....I still have some self doubt/lack of confidence, that prevent me from thinking I'm "all that". It is hard to be someone you are not, even if it works for you. But for those who need a boost....start slow, but take those little steps. Be the first to speak up. Grab onto any decent project or small initiative that others haven't.
Take on the leadership role if no one else does, even if it is a non career type of endeavour, possibly a community/sports interest.
And if you ever get to be in significant control (of anything)......try not to become a micro manager, who does not show trust in others. And it's more than trust, it often means you are not doing the job you are paid to do. You lose points for that!
But I also see the need for some control types. I could expand, but often leadership folks need to exercise a reasonable amount of control. Some environments are weak, and folks do need to step it up in terms of taking the bull by the horns. And at a basic level, control is often a sign of good management.
I wasn't always this way. I was a pretty meek kid, right into my University days. I was easy. I'd go along with most things, and seldom said no if it looked ok. I was more of a follower in those early days. I did well, but I knew I needed to mature and grow.
I guess I made a shift when I began my career. I learned that it was better for me to lead and take control whenever I could, because it made me happier, and provided ownership. It started with simple observations:
- that if I was in sessions where we all had to participate, I'd try to be first to open up. That saved me a lot of stress (getting it over with), and made me look more like a leader, eventually giving me the confidence to speak even more than the minimal levels expected.
- that if my group took on new initiatives that others did not, when offered, we'd be more in control of our destiny, and valued for it
- and yes, if I wanted things done a certain way I knew I'd have to get others to do it my way....not selfishly, but just so it would not go astray
- that if I did not observe what my group was doing in some detail (and this makes a lot of sense), I could never explain how things worked to my superiors, or justify our worth
And as I evolved down this road, there were obvious benefits. I reaped some success in my work world, which of course, added salary and benefits, and did provide me with more confidence and recognition. And I realized that I could go for the better role, the better job, leadership....and that's where control is a nice thing in your corner. At some point one realizes that control is a nice thing to have!
The good news, to this day I still have those feelings of when I was young.....I still have some self doubt/lack of confidence, that prevent me from thinking I'm "all that". It is hard to be someone you are not, even if it works for you. But for those who need a boost....start slow, but take those little steps. Be the first to speak up. Grab onto any decent project or small initiative that others haven't.
Take on the leadership role if no one else does, even if it is a non career type of endeavour, possibly a community/sports interest.
And if you ever get to be in significant control (of anything)......try not to become a micro manager, who does not show trust in others. And it's more than trust, it often means you are not doing the job you are paid to do. You lose points for that!
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