Are You Trying To Be Like Someone Else?

[CanDB]

The premise is, do you pattern yourself after another person, or a number of people? When you were young, did you feel a strong bond with a certain personality, style or person you looked up to....so much so you emulated much of what they did/said? By the way, this is pretty normal stuff.

I know I looked up to, or wanted to be like many others. I think I always wanted to be "cool", like certain relatives/adults I observed. I liked being stylish to some degree, like people I admired. I wanted to be funny, and interesting, and able to command some sort of audience, very much like my favourite Uncle.....bless you Uncle Lou!

At times when I watch certain folks talking, usually well known individuals, I think of people I know that seem to talk/act like them, and I wonder if they knowingly or accidentally pattern themselves after these celeb types. Or maybe it's just a type of behaviour that many of us are attracted to, that many of us follow. Again, often the cool dudes get a lot of our attention, and rightly so, because they are just that......cool! Cool "with substance" is really cool!!!

I think it's most likely a good thing, if we model ourselves after others, primarily if they are positive sources. Clearly most of us lucky ones who had good role models in our lives, when we were young, got a hard start. Not only were we influenced by a parent or sibling or uncle/aunt/grandparent, or close neighbour, but were fortunate that they were good reference points as we journeyed out in our lives. We benefited just by being there.

Unfortunately, many never had that luxury, and those folks become amazing role models when they somehow piece life together....almost on their own. Nothing but respect for them.

I guess most of us carry a little of him and her and him and her with us. We may even be very much like some "one" we respect(ed). And as long as it feels natural, not a bad thing to be.

When all things clear I believe (quite simply) we naturally gravitate to the people who match closely with who we are meant to be, or at least, want to be.

[FL BRONCO]

Yes, he is a Jewish Carpenter, I just don't do a very good job at it.

[Sophia23]

Yes, he is a Jewish Carpenter, I just don't do a very good job at it.

lol - that's awesome - loved that, but wouldn't let me cp you

[CanDB]

Yes, he is a Jewish Carpenter, I just don't do a very good job at it.

With all my respect, JC was the coolest of the cool.....and then some!

[Lumiere]

My Mom and Dad were good role models for me growing up…I always tried to forge my own path, and stumble my way forward (learning life’s pitfalls firsthand).

I’ve been incredibly fortunate to meet some amazing people along the way - extraordinary people who did manage to shape that path. If I could be like them, surely, life would be extraordinary. I believe we are greater than the sum of our parts, and that greatness better resonates when we walk the right path.

Conversely, how many people with genius IQ’s are born into a poverty stricken third world country? Isolated in a rural outpost...the woman or man with the intellect to cure cancer could have little to no access to education as we speak. What if Einstein had been born somewhere else? How might the world be different?

Having that role model to guide, and the tools (education and industrialized societal resources) to maximize your capability in this world, is everything. Unless one is of the “minimalist” social design. For some, their meaning of life is agrarian - just a different path.

But choose wisely…..otherwise, you get one of these deals.

[CanDB]

My Mom and Dad were good role models for me growing up…I always tried to forge my own path, and stumble my way forward (learning life’s pitfalls firsthand).

I’ve been incredibly fortunate to meet some amazing people along the way - extraordinary people who did manage to shape that path. If I could be like them, surely, life would be extraordinary. I believe we are greater than the sum of our parts, and that greatness better resonates when we walk the right path.

Conversely, how many people with genius IQ’s are born into a poverty stricken third world country? Isolated in a rural outpost...the woman or man with the intellect to cure cancer could have little to no access to education as we speak. What if Einstein had been born somewhere else? How might the world be different?

Having that role model to guide, and the tools (education and industrialized societal resources) to maximize your capability in this world, is everything. Unless one is of the “minimalist” social design. For some, their meaning of life is agrarian - just a different path.

But choose wisely…..otherwise, you get one of these deals.

Well said my friend!

I could bold most of this, because I would love to expand on your fabulous thoughts, but I want to speak to those who have gifts that they do not get to fully utilize. And your example is a sad one, but likely a frequent problem.

Further to.....what about us, not taking chances or expanding our horizons, and never realizing gifts we have? To all I say, kick the tires of life. Try as many things as you can. Who knows when or how you might find gold, the gold that lies within you.

[Lumiere]

Well said my friend!

I could bold most of this, because I would love to expand on your fabulous thoughts, but I want to speak to those who have gifts that they do not get to fully utilize. And your example is a sad one, but likely a frequent problem.

Further to.....what about us, not taking chances or expanding our horizons, and never realizing gifts we have? To all I say, kick the tires of life. Try as many things as you can. Who knows when or how you might find gold, the gold that lies within you.

That is so very true and a great point. To share part of a related life experience ~

A girl that I fell deeply in love with many many years ago (it feels a lifetime distant), was absolutely brilliant. She just functioned on another level, and it was something beyond description to behold (I was in awe just talking to her...we would play chess by candlelight, and she would weave a lyrical tapestry that vaporized my mind). Tragically, she was addicted to meth, and let the drug consume her...and her gifts. The whole chapter was far and away the most agonizing in my life. To watch someone that means everything to you just slowly throw it all away. And with a gift like that? It's torture.

.........

I wonder how many "settle" in their careers...and give up entirely on their dream vocation? How many could have been inspired by a better teacher? How many gave up after one failure? How many had a difficult childhood, derailing their truest potential? It's painful to think about, and boggles the mind how much wasted talent is probably left behind.

If only there were an easy "reset" button. Thankfully, technology (down the road) might be able to more easily remedy this. But certainly, kicking the tires of life is crucial to discovering that perfect knack. That life changing epiphany - and to never cease kicking those tires.

[CanDB]

That is so very true and a great point. To share part of a related life experience ~

A girl that I fell deeply in love with many many years ago (it feels a lifetime distant), was absolutely brilliant. She just functioned on another level, and it was something beyond description to behold (I was in awe just talking to her...we would play chess by candlelight, and she would weave a lyrical tapestry that vaporized my mind). Tragically, she was addicted to meth, and let the drug consume her...and her gifts. The whole chapter was far and away the most agonizing in my life. To watch someone that means everything to you just slowly throw it all away. And with a gift like that? It's torture.

.........

I wonder how many "settle" in their careers...and give up entirely on their dream vocation? How many could have been inspired by a better teacher? How many gave up after one failure? How many had a difficult childhood, derailing their truest potential? It's painful to think about, and boggles the mind how much wasted talent is probably left behind.

If only there were an easy "reset" button. Thankfully, technology (down the road) might be able to more easily remedy this. But certainly, kicking the tires of life is crucial to discovering that perfect knack. That life changing epiphany - and to never cease kicking those tires.

That is a very sad story you tell, my friend. It must have been very painful for you to watch it evolve. Unfortunately, and this is where many pay a price for trying to help, we can not change some people's ways. We try, and we suffer, and we lose......and in no way do we deserve the cost afterward. The cost of caring. But that is also the beauty of people.....that try, and that care.

[Lumiere]

That is a very sad story you tell, my friend. It must have been very painful for you to watch it evolve. Unfortunately, and this is where many pay a price for trying to help, we can not change some people's ways. We try, and we suffer, and we lose......and in no way do we deserve the cost afterward. The cost of caring. But that is also the beauty of people.....that try, and that care.

Can's Book of True. :thumb:

[InsaneBlaze23]

I wouldn't say that I want to be like someone else. I'm a little on the arrogant side so I mostly just wanna be the best me I can while being better than everyone else.

When I was younger I wanted to be like my granddads. One of which was a former Marine and had been a homicide detective majority of his police career.
The other was one of the university of Michigan's best linebackers, played for the Bengals and the Packers.

With them I also really wanted to be like my sports idol, Brett Favre.

Outside of them as a kid, I was a kid. I wanted to be Goku, I wanted to be a digi-destent. Or a power ranger.

But when I hit my teens and adults years, didn't wanna be like anyone other than me.

[CanDB]

I wouldn't say that I want to be like someone else. I'm a little on the arrogant side so I mostly just wanna be the best me I can while being better than everyone else.

When I was younger I wanted to be like my granddads. One of which was a former Marine and had been a homicide detective majority of his police career.
The other was one of the university of Michigan's best linebackers, played for the Bengals and the Packers.

With them I also really wanted to be like my sports idol, Brett Favre.

Outside of them as a kid, I was a kid. I wanted to be Goku, I wanted to be a digi-destent. Or a power ranger.

But when I hit my teens and adults years, didn't wanna be like anyone other than me.

IB....you sure seem to have some good genes in the ole system! Maybe that's part of it, you hardly need to look outside yourself.....:thumb:

[CanDB]

I Always Seem To Come Out Ahead When I Learn More....

Ever notice that when you are uncertain about something, likely the best approach is to learn more about it? It could be through a book (what is a book nowadays!!), or via google, or through an expert, or even some good allies. Say you have a pain and you assume it will go away, but in the meantime you do not consult with anyone.....would it not ease your mind a little to know what ails you, and that most of the time, it will get better. Just one example.

I think when we worry about an issue in our lives, our minds overload with "what ifs", and we also tend to focus too much about it, which often makes the situation seem worse. I have written about this principle before, that if I put most of my brain cells into thinking I had a sore baby toe, I eventually would. We have real powers (of mind), and if we use them improperly, we tend to pay for it. I think of all those situations I faced, when I let my mind take over a problem without using supportive info/help, it often got overblown due to focus, fear and to some degree, self defeat.

As an aside.....we tend to have different degrees of information about any given thing. Like a puzzle, some of us have all the pieces, whereas there are varying degrees of knowledge, throughout the population in question. Say there are theoretically 10 puzzle pieces to a specific issue we may have, and we have only 3 of them. Are we able to arrive at the right solution, taking those 3 pieces and filling in with common sense, and experience? Probably not. BUT, say we consult some reliable information sources, and we add 2 more pieces....and then we visit a professional (in that field), who easily adds another 3 pieces. Now we are at 8 of 10, and odds are in our favour. We may be missing a critical piece or two, but as I say, we minimize the gap of what is known and not known.....which inevitably helps to relax the situation before it becomes a disturbing factor.

My take is that we all struggle with answers at some point. And given we are only human, and therefore have biases, or are misled by others or other information, added to the fact that, as humans, we can over-analyze and sometimes take ourselves down a "negative" path.....I think it wise to be a learner in life. One who looks for puzzle pieces by opening ourselves to knowledge. It's not hard to find. And if anything, try not to be a procrastinator, especially if the issue is starting to eat at you.

At minimum, moving even slightly forward will likely put your mind at some ease, and having your mind in a positive place is a big part of the battle.:thumb:

[Joshua2585]

Speaking of puzzles, how's this? "Life and all it's situations are just a game of Jeopardy."

Ha, I agree with you 100% though. I always try to learn more about something I'm worried about or fear. It's the best way to approach anything in life. Learn more!

[CanDB]

Speaking of puzzles, how's this? "Life and all it's situations are just a game of Jeopardy."

Ha, I agree with you 100% though. I always try to learn more about something I'm worried about or fear. It's the best way to approach anything in life. Learn more!

I had an example of that today. Having a bit of a problem, worried about it more than I should, looked into it today, and most of the annoyance is gone. And basically it was a simple fix.

And that's my main objective of the thread.....that life is so much simpler when we just take a little time now and again, to fill in the missing pieces. Fortunately for some, they have so much common sense and experience, that they can often fill in the missing pieces, even in that 3 of 10 scenario. There are patterns too, from time to time. It's not raw genius, it is showing a real interest in life, and becoming aware of trends and likelihoods, and as I say....patterns. Those sweet little gems that we can all get better at, if we observe and listen and read and do.

[InsaneBlaze23]

IB....you sure seem to have some good genes in the ole system! Maybe that's part of it, you hardly need to look outside yourself.....:thumb:

Thanks Can, funny thing is if you asked any of my family they'd tell you I should look outside myself. Since myself has severe depression. Hahaha