Tweet
I often mention, but it is better to have a few really good friends than a bunch of folks we really hardly know. That has been reinforced over the years when I think of the social media (ie. Facebook) and how the concept of "friends" has been devalued as a currency in terms of the true meaning of the word. Hey, if the new definition is someone you share a joke with occasionally, or exchange vacation pics with, or sometimes agree with online, or a person who you say hi to..... then I guess friendship means something entirely new. I am old school, and for me, friendship means a little skin in the game when someone needs help, or is there when you need them. It comprises a lot of other factors, as in shared experiences, enjoyment when around one another and more. It typically takes a realistic timeframe to be established, unless of course the person does something amazing for you even though you hardly know them! All in all.....friendship for me means I know the person very well, have had a proven period of good relations, and understand their thought process on important topics....though not all. Hey, even our "partners" sometimes have philosophical differences. But the good news is that we are able to get past them, because the majority of the relationship is so worth while.
Even here (on this board) I will be blunt.....it is hard to consider another person a friend unless we know one another quite well. No doubt it happens online. People meet that way. I am much more open to that possibility than I would have, say a few years ago. But just like the people we say hi to at work, the passing by "friendliness" is not necessarily substantive. Try calling them for help and see what they think!! Or very simply, take them deep into a sensitive subject, and see if they are remotely close to you in perspective. Not to push the envelope, but if you really want to know about them, see how they respond to all sorts of topics.....be it religion, politics, even favourite teams!!
But in the end, and this has been mentioned elsewhere on this board, it is no biggee if we find out that some folks are not like us at all, and in fact, the differences in opinion are vast. That is life. No one's fault, unless one person is just being a goof about it. We are different, each and every one. It is highly improbable that we agree 100% with anyone. However, sometimes a person we agree with less overall than another person, actually is a true friend whereas the other person will never be. Why? Because the little stuff doesn't matter as much. If we are closely aligned on most serious matters, we have a better shot (in my books). OR...and this is where it is difficult to even explain good marriages, often we are bonded because of certain key factors that seem to override everything else. There is just the right combination of characteristics and behaviour that get bonus points in the bigger picture. Heck, two folks can disagree a lot of the time, but have a deep and rewarding relationship. The foundations of the partnership are rock like. Similarly, sometimes people split from one another because something is no longer there. The beautiful Gordon Lightfoot song "If You Could Read My Mind" says it so simply, but so accurately:
I never thought I could act this way
And I've got to say that I just don't get it
I don't know where we went wrong
But the feelings gone and I just can't get it back
But this is not meant to be a negative thread. I think it can be positive if you so choose, and I also think it is realistic.
As for my experiences.....well, I have enough good friends for a lifetime. I am lucky. But during my days I appeared to have many, many friends. I would engage with most everyone, and always remember how it felt good to give good morning greetings to folks at school, or at work or in all the clubs I was involved with. I actually enjoy that feeling of kindness spread around. But I will admit, I did not know all those people well. Were they all friends? Not really. But here's another positive that I like to share:
Spreading kindness whenever you can is a good thing, close friend or not. It makes for a nicer world. It feels good. It can energize. And yes, you may end up with a friend for life, given one never knows who or when we will meet them. And I know you folks are smart enough to appreciate the fact that, sad to say, sometimes when we expand on the discussion with certain people...like all those I would say good morning to or smile at, may reveal that we are not always on the same page on various topics, and are basically not meant to be close. But again.....so what! Keeping it simple, kind and open minded, is a really great way to journey this life.... the friendships will follow.
Even here (on this board) I will be blunt.....it is hard to consider another person a friend unless we know one another quite well. No doubt it happens online. People meet that way. I am much more open to that possibility than I would have, say a few years ago. But just like the people we say hi to at work, the passing by "friendliness" is not necessarily substantive. Try calling them for help and see what they think!! Or very simply, take them deep into a sensitive subject, and see if they are remotely close to you in perspective. Not to push the envelope, but if you really want to know about them, see how they respond to all sorts of topics.....be it religion, politics, even favourite teams!!
But in the end, and this has been mentioned elsewhere on this board, it is no biggee if we find out that some folks are not like us at all, and in fact, the differences in opinion are vast. That is life. No one's fault, unless one person is just being a goof about it. We are different, each and every one. It is highly improbable that we agree 100% with anyone. However, sometimes a person we agree with less overall than another person, actually is a true friend whereas the other person will never be. Why? Because the little stuff doesn't matter as much. If we are closely aligned on most serious matters, we have a better shot (in my books). OR...and this is where it is difficult to even explain good marriages, often we are bonded because of certain key factors that seem to override everything else. There is just the right combination of characteristics and behaviour that get bonus points in the bigger picture. Heck, two folks can disagree a lot of the time, but have a deep and rewarding relationship. The foundations of the partnership are rock like. Similarly, sometimes people split from one another because something is no longer there. The beautiful Gordon Lightfoot song "If You Could Read My Mind" says it so simply, but so accurately:
I never thought I could act this way
And I've got to say that I just don't get it
I don't know where we went wrong
But the feelings gone and I just can't get it back
But this is not meant to be a negative thread. I think it can be positive if you so choose, and I also think it is realistic.
As for my experiences.....well, I have enough good friends for a lifetime. I am lucky. But during my days I appeared to have many, many friends. I would engage with most everyone, and always remember how it felt good to give good morning greetings to folks at school, or at work or in all the clubs I was involved with. I actually enjoy that feeling of kindness spread around. But I will admit, I did not know all those people well. Were they all friends? Not really. But here's another positive that I like to share:
Spreading kindness whenever you can is a good thing, close friend or not. It makes for a nicer world. It feels good. It can energize. And yes, you may end up with a friend for life, given one never knows who or when we will meet them. And I know you folks are smart enough to appreciate the fact that, sad to say, sometimes when we expand on the discussion with certain people...like all those I would say good morning to or smile at, may reveal that we are not always on the same page on various topics, and are basically not meant to be close. But again.....so what! Keeping it simple, kind and open minded, is a really great way to journey this life.... the friendships will follow.
...
), et al…we’re all Broncos fans first here, IMO. 
), so all in all, I can deal with it. I stretch a lot more than I used to, and I know of what not to do. But it is amazing how many times in just one day we end up bending over to reach for something! In fact, when my back area hurts the most, it seems like a guarantee that I will drop something to the floor, maybe just a small piece of laundry after a wash, or because I miss the garbage can when in a hurry....yadda yadda. But rest assured, if you are sensitive to back pain, be prepared for the bending here and there. If you have a small child or pet, expect even more.
Comment