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It's Better To Not Be Friends (Legitmately) Than To Be A Friend To Almost A Stranger

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  • CanDB
    replied
    Originally posted by Sophia23 View Post
    i never expect anything in return when i give.... but the feeling that comes from helping another is a great feeling .... especially when i understand a person's circumstances because i've been there myself at some point in time, and i know what even the smallest amount of help can do for such circumstances...
    EXACTLY!!!

    It's not about looking for any kind of reward, but at the same time, knowing that both sides almost always win when you help out.

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  • Sophia23
    replied
    i never expect anything in return when i give.... but the feeling that comes from helping another is a great feeling .... especially when i understand a person's circumstances because i've been there myself at some point in time, and i know what even the smallest amount of help can do for such circumstances...

    Leave a comment:


  • CanDB
    replied
    Originally posted by Lumiere View Post
    D, Santa needs to bring you a graboid! It’ll help your back while giving you Popeye forearms.

    Me like-a!!!!:thumb:

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  • Lumiere
    replied
    D, Santa needs to bring you a graboid! It’ll help your back while giving you Popeye forearms.

    Leave a comment:


  • CanDB
    replied
    If You Have A Sore Back, Expect To Bend A Lot!

    My back and hip area have caused me some discomfort for a number of years. Only once did I have to get a good check up on it (as well as having to cancel a trip), so all in all, I can deal with it. I stretch a lot more than I used to, and I know of what not to do. But it is amazing how many times in just one day we end up bending over to reach for something! In fact, when my back area hurts the most, it seems like a guarantee that I will drop something to the floor, maybe just a small piece of laundry after a wash, or because I miss the garbage can when in a hurry....yadda yadda. But rest assured, if you are sensitive to back pain, be prepared for the bending here and there. If you have a small child or pet, expect even more.

    Apparently I have some arthritis (mostly in my ankle) throughout my body, and so I anticipate 'the what could be' if I do not stretch or even take an advil from time to time. Amazingly I can go long periods where it is at a reasonably stable level, that I almost forget about the precautionary aspect. Given some of my situation appears to be sports related, I can only imagine what many professional athletes have to endure when their sports days are over.

    I am sure a number of you appreciate what a bad back or hip can do to you. It can get to the point that you have trouble sleeping, and that's the point I do not want to get to. Pain sure, but pain and sleep deprivation....no thanks.

    But I am also sure that those of you who understand the condition, also realize how gravity can really mess things up! But hey, we learn. If ever I take the laundry out of the dryer, I make sure it is packed in the basket before moving on...otherwise, bingo, there goes a sock or a face cloth or other smaller object. One learns to focus on these little things.

    As I say, could be much worse. Interesting to hear what other back sufferers think. And if it falls (keeping in The Christmas spirit).....let it fall let it fall let it fall. And let someone else pick it up!!!

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  • CanDB
    replied
    Originally posted by ELWAY421 View Post
    This^^^ is what life is supposed to be.
    So true bud....and not very hard at all.

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  • ELWAY421
    replied
    Originally posted by CanDB View Post
    Sometimes a small thing happens, but it causes me to hit the keyboard with a larger story. Today, at the gym, as has been the case on a number of occasions, a fellow asked me if I could help him solve his lock rental combination code. I have not owned such a lock for many decades, but I do remember how to open them. Easy thing to do, if you know how. But it was fun, because for a moment in time, a perfect stranger and I had a chance to interact, and I felt the kindness of the "thank you".

    This is but a tiny example of helping out someone else, and no reward should be expected. But if we could all raise the bar on helping out others, those who are deserving of our time, energy, perhaps even cash, oh what a wonderful world it would be.

    And the basic beauty of it all.....it circles back to the giver. Helping others is rewarding in itself.:thumb:
    This^^^ is what life is supposed to be.

    Leave a comment:


  • CanDB
    replied
    There's Always A Reward For Helping Others

    Sometimes a small thing happens, but it causes me to hit the keyboard with a larger story. Today, at the gym, as has been the case on a number of occasions, a fellow asked me if I could help him solve his lock rental combination code. I have not owned such a lock for many decades, but I do remember how to open them. Easy thing to do, if you know how. But it was fun, because for a moment in time, a perfect stranger and I had a chance to interact, and I felt the kindness of the "thank you".

    This is but a tiny example of helping out someone else, and no reward should be expected. But if we could all raise the bar on helping out others, those who are deserving of our time, energy, perhaps even cash, oh what a wonderful world it would be.

    And the basic beauty of it all.....it circles back to the giver. Helping others is rewarding in itself.:thumb:

    Leave a comment:


  • CanDB
    replied
    My Wife And I Have To Invent Plans For What We're Doing Later

    I appreciate why the nice waiters/waitresses have to ask what our plans are for the evening, after we've had a bite at a local restaurant. Truth is, that was the only plan....having a meal "out". And I am quite sure a lot of their patrons have exciting plans for the night. Maybe a movie or a club, or even a party. But we typically go home, or maybe stop on the way to pick up a few groceries. Not too exciting! Of course I throw in that I will be watching sports later, maybe a good movie (at home).

    But hey, it's small talk, and they are trained to ask...and it kills some of the silence when paying the bill.

    My Wife says I sometimes (make that, often) elaborate for nothing. But once they ask I feel obligated to talk. So before you know it, we are asking them what their plans are, or discussing a movie that will be playing on tv. I like it when they come to life, and show their true colours as interesting people.

    So yes.....it works. For those who have real plans, they are often proud to make mention. And for those like my Wife and I, it may turn into a nice two way conversation with the person serving us.

    Leave a comment:


  • Sophia23
    replied
    Friends to me doesn't mean i know a person very well, because i am probably the hardest person in the world to get to know. I'm very different being i'm more open with complete strangers than i am with folks who i would call my friends. Those folks who i do consider friends though i will do stuff for that i wouldn't for those i don't know, such as go out when i'd much rather stay in .... or with as much as i hate talking to people on the phone, i'll pick up the phone and call them once in a while. I do consider people i've met online to be friends. Had a friend i made on the daily show boards who i use to correspond with through email, social media, or phone. He was a really good guy ... and I was very sad when I learned through social media that he had passed. I think you can sometimes really get to know or become friends with someone you've never met in person.

    Leave a comment:


  • CanDB
    replied
    Originally posted by Lumiere View Post
    Hey bud,

    Friendship should supersede the petty squabbles, ideally. But in the new, heavily fragmented world where political divides have become an insurmountable chasm, there seems to be some collateral damage. I think this is all worsened by technology, that while hyper-connecting everybody, has done so with flimsy tensile strength.

    For me personally, the cool folks I’ve met here have the awesome cohesion of being a special part of Broncos Country! That’s why I’m here. Whatever someone’s politics are, whether they’re a flat earther, hypochondriac, tin foil hat wearer, hate coffee (oh that’s grounds for a drubbing ...), et al…we’re all Broncos fans first here, IMO.

    I’m happy to call many of you my friend.
    Always good to hear from you pal! Place is better when you stop by.

    I would think that some of this comes down to definition of "friends". But that is all a matter of interpretation.

    As for you.....well you fall squarely into the section that is bolded. Folks like you keep me coming back.

    Leave a comment:


  • HUMCALC
    replied
    I don't want or trust friends. All of my "friends" have screwed me over repeatedly, except one

    Leave a comment:


  • Lumiere
    replied
    Hey bud,

    Friendship should supersede the petty squabbles, ideally. But in the new, heavily fragmented world where political divides have become an insurmountable chasm, there seems to be some collateral damage. I think this is all worsened by technology, that while hyper-connecting everybody, has done so with flimsy tensile strength.

    For me personally, the cool folks I’ve met here have the awesome cohesion of being a special part of Broncos Country! That’s why I’m here. Whatever someone’s politics are, whether they’re a flat earther, hypochondriac, tin foil hat wearer, hate coffee (oh that’s grounds for a drubbing ...), et al…we’re all Broncos fans first here, IMO.

    I’m happy to call many of you my friend.

    Leave a comment:


  • It's Better To Not Be Friends (Legitmately) Than To Be A Friend To Almost A Stranger

    I often mention, but it is better to have a few really good friends than a bunch of folks we really hardly know. That has been reinforced over the years when I think of the social media (ie. Facebook) and how the concept of "friends" has been devalued as a currency in terms of the true meaning of the word. Hey, if the new definition is someone you share a joke with occasionally, or exchange vacation pics with, or sometimes agree with online, or a person who you say hi to..... then I guess friendship means something entirely new. I am old school, and for me, friendship means a little skin in the game when someone needs help, or is there when you need them. It comprises a lot of other factors, as in shared experiences, enjoyment when around one another and more. It typically takes a realistic timeframe to be established, unless of course the person does something amazing for you even though you hardly know them! All in all.....friendship for me means I know the person very well, have had a proven period of good relations, and understand their thought process on important topics....though not all. Hey, even our "partners" sometimes have philosophical differences. But the good news is that we are able to get past them, because the majority of the relationship is so worth while.

    Even here (on this board) I will be blunt.....it is hard to consider another person a friend unless we know one another quite well. No doubt it happens online. People meet that way. I am much more open to that possibility than I would have, say a few years ago. But just like the people we say hi to at work, the passing by "friendliness" is not necessarily substantive. Try calling them for help and see what they think!! Or very simply, take them deep into a sensitive subject, and see if they are remotely close to you in perspective. Not to push the envelope, but if you really want to know about them, see how they respond to all sorts of topics.....be it religion, politics, even favourite teams!!

    But in the end, and this has been mentioned elsewhere on this board, it is no biggee if we find out that some folks are not like us at all, and in fact, the differences in opinion are vast. That is life. No one's fault, unless one person is just being a goof about it. We are different, each and every one. It is highly improbable that we agree 100% with anyone. However, sometimes a person we agree with less overall than another person, actually is a true friend whereas the other person will never be. Why? Because the little stuff doesn't matter as much. If we are closely aligned on most serious matters, we have a better shot (in my books). OR...and this is where it is difficult to even explain good marriages, often we are bonded because of certain key factors that seem to override everything else. There is just the right combination of characteristics and behaviour that get bonus points in the bigger picture. Heck, two folks can disagree a lot of the time, but have a deep and rewarding relationship. The foundations of the partnership are rock like. Similarly, sometimes people split from one another because something is no longer there. The beautiful Gordon Lightfoot song "If You Could Read My Mind" says it so simply, but so accurately:

    I never thought I could act this way
    And I've got to say that I just don't get it
    I don't know where we went wrong
    But the feelings gone and I just can't get it back


    But this is not meant to be a negative thread. I think it can be positive if you so choose, and I also think it is realistic.

    As for my experiences.....well, I have enough good friends for a lifetime. I am lucky. But during my days I appeared to have many, many friends. I would engage with most everyone, and always remember how it felt good to give good morning greetings to folks at school, or at work or in all the clubs I was involved with. I actually enjoy that feeling of kindness spread around. But I will admit, I did not know all those people well. Were they all friends? Not really. But here's another positive that I like to share:

    Spreading kindness whenever you can is a good thing, close friend or not. It makes for a nicer world. It feels good. It can energize. And yes, you may end up with a friend for life, given one never knows who or when we will meet them. And I know you folks are smart enough to appreciate the fact that, sad to say, sometimes when we expand on the discussion with certain people...like all those I would say good morning to or smile at, may reveal that we are not always on the same page on various topics, and are basically not meant to be close. But again.....so what! Keeping it simple, kind and open minded, is a really great way to journey this life.... the friendships will follow.

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