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Lame Jokes That Are Still Funny

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  • Lame Jokes That Are Still Funny

    Man, I heard a joke yesterday that was stupid, but I couldn't help but laugh at it anyways:

    Did you hear about the two antennas that got married? The ceremony was awful, but the reception was great!!


    A string walks into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, "Hey! We don't serve strings in here!" Dejectedly the string turns around and walks out. Later in the day he tries again.

    "Hey!," the bartender shouts, "We don't serve strings in here!!" Once again the string turns around in frustration and leaves. But his throat is parched, and he really needs a drink. All of the sudden he gets an idea. He ties himself into a knot, frays his string-hair and walks right back into the bar.

    The bartender sees him and says "Hey!! Aren't you that string I just threw outta here!?"

    "No, I'm a frayed knot."

  • #2
    that was so stupid it was funny

    sig made by snk16

    I adopted Ebenezar Ekuban


    • #3
      How do you catch a school of fish?
      With a bookworm!

      Why did the kid cross the playground?
      To get to the other slide!
      There's more to life than the Denver Broncos. Let me know when you find it.

      Hear the dogs howling out of key, to a hymn called 'Faith and Misery' - Green Day

      "If I can not bend heaven, I shall move Hell." - Vergil (Aeneid VII)


      • #4
        An 18 year-old girl tells her Mum that she has missed her period for two

        Very worried, the mother goes to the Chemist and buys a pregnancy kit.

        The test result shows that the girl is pregnant.

        Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, "Who was the pig that did
        to you? I want to know!"

        The girl picks up the phone and makes a call.

        Half an hour later a Ferrari stops in front of their house; a mature and
        distinguished man with grey hair and impeccably dressed in an Armani
        steps out of the Ferrari and enters the house.

        He sits in the living room with the father and the mother, and the girl
        tells them:

        "Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the problem.
        I can't marry her because of my personal family situation but I'll take
        Charge it. I will pay all costs and provide for your daughter for the
        rest of her life.

        Additionally, if a girl is born I will bequeath her 2 retail stores, a
        townhouse, a beachfront villa and a $2,000,000 bank account.
        If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories and a
        bank account.

        If twins, they will receive a factory and $2,000,000 each.
        However, if there is a miscarriage, what do you suggest I do?"

        At this point, the girls father, who had remained silent, places a hand
        firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him, "You shag her again."


        • #5
          A man walks into a bar, says "Ow."
          The Game Day Thread: Year 17 in progress!!! sigpic


          • #6
            Why did Tigger have his head in the toilet?

            He was looking for Pooh.
            "Oh I Have Slipped The Surly Bonds of Earth... Put Out My Hand And Touched the Face of God"

            -Rest In Peace, Darrent & Damien


            • #7
              Originally posted by spikerman
              Why did Tigger have his head in the toilet?

              He was looking for Pooh.

              Also, Bronx 2003, yours was good too.


              • #8
                What is big, red and eats rocks?

                A big red rock eater!!!!

                Why was the mushroom such a big hit at the party?

                Because he was a FUNGI!!!!

                What is black and white, and fast and dangerous?

                A cow skateboarding!!!!

                Why did Mrs. Clause get a divorce with Santa Clause?

                Because Santa said "HO HO HO"

                Damn, those are good!!!hahahaha


                • #9
                  How do you catch a unique rabbit?
                  Unique up on it.

                  How do you catch a tame rabbit?
                  Tame way, Unique up on it.

                  What has four wheels and is green?
                  Grass! I was just kidding about the wheels.

                  Sig By Snk16


                  • #10
                    A baby seal walks into a club.

                    A Priest, Monk and Rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says...Whats this, some kind of joke?

                    those are the only two jokes i ever tell.


                    • #11
                      This is older than Topscribe:

                      A bear wakes up in the morning and has the urge
                      to take a dump
                      As he's walking down to his favorite place by the stream,
                      he notices Mr. Rabbit is already down by the stream taking
                      a dump...."Good Morning Mr. Rabbit" he says as he squats
                      down beside the rabbit
                      "Good Morning Mr.Bear" he replied
                      After about 5 minutes, the bear looks over at the rabbit and asked "Say Mr. Rabbit, do you have problems with poop sticking to your fur"?
                      "Why no Mr. Bear, I don't have problems with poop sticking to my fur" he replied
                      "Good" said the bear, with that he grab the rabbit and wiped his butt with the rabbit and told him "thanks, forgot the paper this morning"
                      "Go away kid, you bother me"....W.C. Fields