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20 Responses to Telemarketers

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  • 20 Responses to Telemarketers

    1. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for
    bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.

    2. If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "I'm so
    glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I
    have all these problems. My arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes
    are sore, my dog just died . . . "

    3. If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to
    spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then
    ask them where it is located, how long it has been in business,
    how many people work there, how they got into this line of work
    if they are married, how many kids they have, etc. Continue
    asking them personal questions or questions about their company
    for as long as necessary.

    4. This works great if you are male. Telemarketer: "Hi, my name
    is Judy and I'm with XYZ Company. " You: Wait for a second and
    with a real husky voice ask, "What are you wearing?"

    5. Cry out in surprise, "Judy? Is that you? Oh my God! Judy, how
    have you been?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief
    moments of terror as she tries to figure out where she could
    know you from.

    6. Say "No" over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each
    one, and keep a rhythmic tempo, even as they are trying to
    speak. This is most fun if you can do it until they hang up.

    7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and
    Friends Plan, reply, in as sinister a voice as you can, "I don't
    have any friends, would you be my friend?"

    8. If the company cleans rugs, respond: "Can you get out blood?
    Can you get out goat blood? How about human blood?"

    9. After the Telemarketer gives his or her spiel, ask him or her
    to marry you. When they get all flustered, tell them that you
    can't just give your credit card number to a complete stranger.

    10. Tell the Telemarketer that you work for the same company,
    and they can't sell to employees.

    11. Answer the phone. As soon as you realize it is a
    Telemarketer, set the receiver down, scream, "Oh my God!" and
    then hang up.

    12. Tell the Telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask
    him/her if he/she will give you his/her home phone number so you
    can call him/her back. When the Telemarketer explains that
    telemarketers cannot give out their home numbers say, "I guess
    you don't want anyone bothering you at home, right?" The
    Telemarketer will agree and you say, "Me either!" Hang up.

    13. Ask them to repeat everything they say, several times.

    14. Tell them it is dinner time, but ask if they would please
    hold. Put them on your speaker phone while you continue to eat
    at your leisure. Smack your food loudly and continue with your
    dinner conversation.

    15. Tell the Telemarketer you are on "home incarceration" and
    ask if they could bring you some beer.

    16. Ask them to fax the information to you, and make up a number.

    17. Tell the Telemarketer, "Okay, I'll listen to you. But I
    should probably tell you, I'm not wearing any clothes."

    18. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a
    joke. "Come on, Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's your
    momma?"

    19. Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to
    speak up . . . louder . . . louder . . .

    20. Tell them to talk very slowly, because you want to write
    every word down.

    NOTICE: The above have all been tested and approved for use on
    telemarketers. No animals were harmed in the testing
    sigpic

  • #2
    Another good one we like to use is ask them if they take food stamps.

    Also tell them to remain on hold because you are a homocide detective and a murder was just committed at the residence. The caller needs to stay on the line for further questioning.
    :usa: *** God Bless Our Military Men And Women*** :usa:

    sigpic

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by BroncoManiac_69
      Another good one we like to use is ask them if they take food stamps.

      Also tell them to remain on hold because you are a homocide detective and a murder was just committed at the residence. The caller needs to stay on the line for further questioning.

      lol. those are good ones.



      my friends and I,especially my friends, love it when telemarketers call and like to prank call people. the telemarketers you can get away with but now with everyone having caller ID now (which sucks for us kids) you cant get away with prank calling.
      sigpic

      Comment


      • #4
        there funny how about

        if its a guy ask him,hey i got this rash on my nuts you got it too? believe he will hang up straight away
        SPORT IS LIKE PHOTOGRAPHY,...IF YOU DONT FOCUS,YOU JUST GET NEGATIVES



        Born-1990
        Got ipod- 2004




        Oh! this one time i saw a blimp!

        Comment


        • #5
          I messed with this one caller one time. He asked how I was doing and so I replied horrible. He didn't know what to say for a minute then recovered. Then he told me that he was trying to sell home burgler systems. I told him that the reason I was doing horrible was that my home was just broken into and I lost everything except the phone...and why didn't he call 24 hours sooner. Poor guy didn't know what to say. My wife was rolling on floor.
          Patriotic dissent is a luxury of those protected by better men than they.

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by LDB
            I messed with this one caller one time. He asked how I was doing and so I replied horrible. He didn't know what to say for a minute then recovered. Then he told me that he was trying to sell home burgler systems. I told him that the reason I was doing horrible was that my home was just broken into and I lost everything except the phone...and why didn't he call 24 hours sooner. Poor guy didn't know what to say. My wife was rolling on floor.

            Awesome!

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by LDB
              I messed with this one caller one time. He asked how I was doing and so I replied horrible. He didn't know what to say for a minute then recovered. Then he told me that he was trying to sell home burgler systems. I told him that the reason I was doing horrible was that my home was just broken into and I lost everything except the phone...and why didn't he call 24 hours sooner. Poor guy didn't know what to say. My wife was rolling on floor.





              you get a CP for that one.
              sigpic

              Comment


              • #8
                If its a polition one ask him what all the candidates views are on a bunch of topics and say sorry im not old enough to vote


                Comment


                • #9
                  4. This works great if you are male. Telemarketer: "Hi, my name
                  is Judy and I'm with XYZ Company. " You: Wait for a second and
                  with a real husky voice ask, "What are you wearing?"





                  12. Tell the Telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask
                  him/her if he/she will give you his/her home phone number so you
                  can call him/her back. When the Telemarketer explains that
                  telemarketers cannot give out their home numbers say, "I guess
                  you don't want anyone bothering you at home, right?" The
                  Telemarketer will agree and you say, "Me either!" Hang up.

                  ^^


                  Comment


                  • #10
                    So as not to overtax my creative powers,
                    I just lay the phone down for a little while.
                    No, I don't hang up . . . . I just lay it down.



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                    Comment

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