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Men Are Just Happier People-- Joke!!!

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  • Men Are Just Happier People-- Joke!!!

    What do you expect from such simple creatures? !!!!!!!!
    >1) Your last name stays put.
    >2) The garage is all yours.
    >3) Wedding plans take care of themselves.
    >4) Chocolate is just another snack.
    >5) You can be President.
    >6) You can never be pregnant.
    >7) You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
    >8) You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
    >9) Car mechanics tell you the truth.
    >10) The world is your urinal.
    >11) You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
    >12) You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
    >13) Same work, more pay.
    >14) Wrinkles add character.
    >15) Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental $100.
    >16) People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
    >17) The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
    >18) New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
    >19) Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
    >20) A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
    >21) You can open all your own jars.
    >22) You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
    >23) If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
    >24) Your underwear is $7.95 for a three-pack.
    >25) Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
    >26) You never have strap problems in public.
    >27) You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
    >28) Everything on your face stays its original color.
    >29) The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
    >30) You only have to shave your face and neck.
    >31) You can play with toys all your life.
    >32) Your belly usually hides your big hips.
    >33) One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons.
    >34) You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
    >35) You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.
    >36) You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
    >37) You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
    >38) You don't need company to use the restroom.
    >No wonder men are happier

  • #2
    Yes. Well there is all that. We are a pretty simple lot after all.

    On the other hand you women don't have it all that bad either...
    Women get it when they want it (men generally have to wait until a woman wants it from them.)
    How to put this delicately... Multiple O...
    You can get men to do practically anything for you (again we're simple creatures.)
    Play your cards right and you don't have to work at all, well not for money.
    Women usually live longer.
    Many others that don't come to mind right now.


    • #3
      Originally posted by TheGlue Factory
      You can get men to do practically anything for you (
      Well you guys shouldn't be such pushovers then should you?!?!?!!!


      • #4
        Originally posted by scottie
        Well you guys shouldn't be such pushovers then should you?!?!?!!!

        Sometimes we like it though.


        • #5
          I are not always happier.

          Why Do Men Die First?
          If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race... you're a male chauvinist.
          If you stay home and do the housework... you have no goals.
          If you work too hard... there's never any time for her.
          If you don't work enough... you're a good-for-nothing lazy jerk.
          If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay... this is exploitation.
          If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay... you should get off your lazy butt and find something better.
          If you get a promotion ahead of her... that is favoritism.
          If she gets a job ahead of you... its equal opportunity.
          If you mention how nice she looks.... its sexual harassment.
          If you keep quiet... it's male indifference.
          If you cry... you're a wimp.
          If you don't... you're an insensitive jerk.
          If you make a decision without consulting her... you're a chauvinist.
          If she makes a decision without consulting you... she's a liberated woman.
          If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy... that's domination.
          If SHE asks you... it's a favor.
          If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear... you're a pervert.
          If you don't... you're gay.
          If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape... you're sexist.
          If you don't... you're unromantic.
          If you try to keep yourself in shape... you're vain.
          If you don't... you're a slob.
          If you buy her flowers... you're after something.
          If you don't... you're not thoughtful.
          If she has a headache... she's tired.
          If you have a headache... you don't love her anymore.
          If you want it too often... you're oversexed.
          If you don't... there must be someone else.

          Men Die First Because They Want To!
          Last edited by Big Buck 1981; 10-20-2005, 12:02 PM.


          • #6
            Uh huh ........ and your problem is?!?!?!! !!!!!!!


            • #7
              Originally posted by scottie
              Uh huh ........ and your problem is?!?!?!! !!!!!!!
              Don't have one, why do you ask?

              My post, just as yours, was meant as a joke...tee-hee...


              • #8
                Originally posted by Big Buck 1981
                Don't have one, why do you ask?

                My post, just as yours, was meant as a joke...tee-hee...

                I know!! Just having a laugh!!


                • #9
                  Oh, ...