Americans response to a Frenchman

[LawDog]

I'm wondering about the chemistry of ancillary reactions to the heat applied to a given element. In other words, how does one reaction impact the surrounding environment. Let me give you an example...

When I first met the woman who was to become my wife, my balls vibrated, but it was my heart that melted.

[pikman]

Originally posted by bcollin1
Melting is something which happens to crystalline substances, during which they go from solid to liquid.

Crystalline substances have a repeating structure in 3D space, so atomically, they look like a 3D array of balls in every direction, and the balls are all vibrating back and forth.

As the temperature of the material goes up, the atoms vibrate back and forth over a larger distance, until the bond which holds them together can't hold, and they break apart from each other. This is what happens when something goes from solid to liquid. As the vibrations get stronger and stronger, and the distance between the atoms gets larger and larger, the liquid will become a gas.

The important thing about things that "melt" is that if you lower the temperature, they will go right back to the same solid structure they started out in, i.e.: the atoms all line back up in the 3D array.

There are some polymers which are crystalline, but the rubber used to make condoms is not one of them. The best way to explain it is that there are a bunch of long LONG chains of atoms all twisted around, and between each chain are some links of much shorter chains of atoms. When the temperature gets high enough, you can make the chains move around, so the solid polymer appears like a liquid, because it displays viscous behavior, but the bonds between the atoms haven't been broken.

When you break those bonds, you change the physical characteristics of the rubber for good, and you can never get it back into the same arrangement. One way to do this is burning, but it can happen many ways.

And just as an FYI: cheese is the same way.
It doesn't melt either.

Man you know how to ruin a joke.

[orangenblue420]

But if they dont melt what do they do, I mean besides the atoms' balls vibrating, what happens if you try to "melt" a condom????

Anyone? Anyone?

And what happens to the stuff inside when you try to melt it? Does that melt or since its already liquid does it evaporate, if so, can you get pregnant if you inhale the vapors???

[mtmanshaefer]

Wow

Well, when I called you professor bcollin1, I hit it right on the nose. I see know why they call you CLIFF. Very interesting bit of trivia!

[Elway]

Mon dieu!!! The discussions we get into here.

[Nixhex78]

Originally posted by bcollin1

And just as an FYI: cheese is the same way.
It doesn't melt either.

Thanks for the lesson Cliff! I actually learned something on the board today. Verrah Interesting!

[BeerGirl]

But if you "burn them down" and mix them with something else, then technically it could work...

[broncosbeast]

How would he even know that they don't melt?

[Nixhex78]

Originally posted by bcollin1
It would be funnier if condoms actually melted.

Care to explain why they don't melt? Do they burn? I don't know!

[BeerGirl]

Nix, just wondering why Trent's head is sooo much smaller than everyone else in your sig line...

And what's with Roaf? He looks all disproportioned--big head & squished up body...

[broncosbeast]

I've already read this on here. Months ago it was in anything but football.

[Nixhex78]

American Response to A Frenchman!!
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Chewing Gum, An American is having breakfast one morning (coffee, croissants, bread, butter and jam) when a Frenchman, chewing gum, sits down next to him

The American ignores the Frenchman who, nevertheless, starts a conversation.

French man: "You American folk eat the whole bread??"

American (in a bad mood): "Of course."

French: (after blowing a huge bubble) "We don't. In France, we only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle it, transform them into croissants and sell them to the states." The Frenchman has a smirk on his face. The American listens in silence.

The Frenchman persists: "Do you eat jam with the bread??"

American: "Of Course."

Frenchman: (cracking his gum between his teeth and chuckling). "We don't.

In France we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we put all the peels, seeds, and leftovers in container! s, recycle them, transform them into jam and sell the jam to the states."

The American then asks: "Do you have sex in France?"

Frenchman: "Why of course we do", he says with a big smirk.

American: "And what do you do with the condoms once you've used them?"

Frenchman: "We throw them away, of course."

American: "We don't. In America, we put them in a container, recycle them, melt them down into chewing gum and sell them to France."