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50 Fun Things to do in the Mall

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  • 50 Fun Things to do in the Mall

    1. Ride mechanical horses with coins fished out of the reflecting pond.

    2. Try pants on backwards at The Gap. Ask the salesperson if they make your butt look big.

    3. Dial 900 numbers from demonstration phones in Radio Shack.

    4. Sneeze on the sample tray at Hickory Farms and helpfully volunteer to consume its now unwanted contents.

    5. At the bottom of an escalator, scream "MY SHOELACES! AAAGH!"

    6. Ask the sales personnel at the music store whether inflated CD prices are in pesos or rubles.

    7. Teach pet store parrots new vocabulary that makes them unsalable.

    8. Stomp on ketchup packets at Burger King...

    9. ...but save a few to slurp on as snacks. Tell people that they're "astronaut food".

    10. Go to Foot Locker and aks the salesperson which shoes will make you good at basketball.

    11. Ask mall cops for stories of World War I.

    12. Ask a salesman why a particular tv is labeled black and white and insist that it's a color set. When he disagrees, give him a strange look and say, "You mean you really can't see it?"

    13. Construct a new porch deck in the tool department of Sears.

    14. Walk up to the Victoria's Secret manequins and tell them how hot they are.

    15. Test mattresses in your pajamas.

    16. Go into the book store and ask the sales clerk if it's fun to be a nerd.

    17. If you're patient, stare intently into a surveillance camera for an hour while rocking from side to side.

    18. Sprint up the down escalator.

    19. Stare at static on a display tv and challenge other shoppers whether they, too, can see the "hidden picture".

    20. Ask appliance personnel if they have any TV's that play only in Spanish.

    21. Make unusual requests at the piercing place.

    22. Ask a salesperson in the hardware department how well a particular saw cuts through bone.

    23. At the pet store, ask if they have bulk discounts on gerbils, and whether there's much meat on them.

    24. Hula dance by the demonstration air conditioner.

    25. Ask for red-tinted lenses at the optometrist.

    26. Sneak up on saleswomen at the perfume counter and spray them with your own bottle of some really funky smelling perfume.

    27. Rummage through the jelly bean bin at the candy store, insisting that you lost a contact lens.

    28. Ask a saleswoman whether a particular shade of panties matches the color of your beard.

    29. In the changing rooms, announce in a singsong voice, "I see London, I see France..."

    30. Leave on the plastic string connecting a new pair of shoes, and wander around the mall taking two-inch steps.

    31. Play the tuba for change.

    32. Go into the jewlry store and ask the clerk where the safe is. Wear a black ski-mask while doing this.

    33. Record belches on electronic sampling keyboards, and perform gastric versions of Jingle Bells for admiring onlookers.

    34. Ask the pharmacist at the drugstore which leading cold remedy will "give you a really wicked buzz".

    35. Ask the personnel at Pier 1 Imports whether they have some "giant crap made out of straw".

    36. "Toast" plastic gag hot dogs in front of the fake fireplace display.

    37. Collect stacks of paint brochures and hand them out as religious tracts.

    38. Ask the information desk for a stroller, and someone to push you around in it.

    39. Change every tv in the electronics department to a station showing "Saved by the Bell". Chant the dialogue in a robotic voice, and scream if anyone tries to switch channels on one of the sets.

    40. Hang out in the waterbed section of the furniture department wearing a Navy uniform. Occasionally run around in circles yelling "scratch one flattop!"

    41. Hand a stack of pants back to the changing room attendant and scornfully announce that none of them are "leakproof".

    42. "Play" the demo modes of video games at the arcade. Make lots of explosion noises.

    43. Stand transfixed in front of a mirror bobbing your head up and down.

    44. Attempt to pay for any purchases with Monopoly money.

    45. If it's Christmas, ask the mall Santa to sit on *your* lap.

    46. Answer any unattended service phones that ring in department stores and say "Domino's."

    47. Try on flea collars at the pet store while occasionally pausing to scratch yourself.

    48. At the stylist, ask to have the hair on your back permed.

    49. Show people your driver's license and demand to know "whether they've seen this man."

    50. Buy a jawbreaker from the candy store. Return fifteen minutes later, fish it out of your mouth, and demand to know why it hasn't turned blue yet.

    Ed McCaffrey: A good blocker, a great receiver. You will be missed.

  • #2
    Our list is too long.

    I simply like to report my wife missing to the security desk.
    :usa: *** God Bless Our Military Men And Women*** :usa:

    sigpic

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    • #3
      too long? i thought it was relativly short...

      Ed McCaffrey: A good blocker, a great receiver. You will be missed.

      Comment


      • #4
        Im giving the list to the kiddos and im gonna sit back and LMMFAO!!!! (dont tell bcollin though, he might turn me in....just kidding.... )

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        • #5
          just you watch i will do all of those and you might even see me on tv.
          sigpic

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          • #6
            Re: 50 Fun Things to do in the Mall

            Originally posted by Beretta 07
            1. Ride mechanical horses with coins fished out of the reflecting pond.

            2. Try pants on backwards at The Gap. Ask the salesperson if they make your peepee look small.

            3. Talk dirty to Bronco Players from demonstration phones in Radio Shack.

            4. Sneeze on the sample tray at Hickory Farms and helpfully volunteer to consume its now unwanted contents.

            5. At the bottom of an escalator, scream "AAHH, Somebody's Raping Me!!!"

            6. Ask the sales personnel at the music store whether they have the lastest CD from "TOTO"

            7. Teach pet store parrots to say "Broncos Suck"

            8. Stomp on ****roaches at your local Burger King

            9. ...but save a few to slurp on as snacks. Tell people that they're "donkey food".

            10. Go to Foot Locker and aks the salesperson which shoes will make you good at volleyball.

            11. Ask mall cops for stories of the David Koresh Standoff.

            12. Ask a salesman why a particular tv is labeled black and white and insist that it's a color set. When he disagrees, give him a strange look and say, "You mean you really can't see it?"

            13. Make a porno in the tool department of Sears.

            14. Walk up to the Victoria's Secret mannequins and grab their **** and start to lick them.

            15. Test mattresses in the nude.

            16. Go into the book store and ask the sales clerk if it's fun to be a writer.

            17. If you're patient, stare intently into a surveillance camera for an hour and then stick your nose in the camera.

            18. Sprint up the down escalator.

            19. Stare at static on a display tv and challenge other shoppers whether they, too, can see the "hidden picture of John Elway eating Moon Pies"

            20. Ask appliance personnel if they have any TV's that play only in SSwedish.

            21. Go to the Piercing Place and ask them to pierce your big toe.

            22. Ask a salesperson in the hardware department how well a particular saw cuts through bone.

            23. At the pet store, ask if they have bulk discounts on gerbils, and whether there's much meat on them.

            24. Hula dance by the demonstration air conditioner.

            25. Ask for red-tinted lenses at the optometrist.

            26. Sneak up on saleswomen at the perfume counter and spray them with your own bottle of some really funky smelling perfume.

            27. Rummage through the jelly bean bin at the candy store, insisting that you lost a contact lens.

            28. Ask a saleswoman whether a particular shade of panties matches the color of your beard.

            29. In the changing rooms, announce in a singsong voice "I'm a little teapot"

            30. Leave on the plastic string connecting a new pair of shoes, and wander around the mall taking two-inch steps.

            31. Play the pop bottles for change.

            32. Go into the jewlry store and ask the clerk where the safe is. Wear a black ski-mask while doing this.

            33. Record nasty wet farts on electronic sampling keyboards, and perform gastric versions of Jingle Bells for admiring onlookers.

            34. Ask the pharmacist at the drugstore which leading cold remedy will "give you a really wicked buzz".

            35. Ask the personnel at Pier 1 Imports whether they have some "giant crap made out of straw".

            36. "Toast" plastic gag hot dogs in front of the fake fireplace display.

            37. Collect stacks of paint brochures and hand them out as religious tracts.

            38. Ask the information desk for a stroller, and someone to push you around in it.

            39. Change every tv in the electronics department to a station showing "Saved by the Bell". Chant the dialogue in a robotic voice, and scream if anyone tries to switch channels on one of the sets.

            40. Hang out in the waterbed section of the furniture department wearing a Navy uniform. Occasionally run around in circles yelling "scratch one flattop!"

            41. Hand a stack of pants back to the changing room attendant and scornfully announce that none of them are "leakproof".

            42. "Play" the demo modes of video games at the arcade. Make lots of explosion noises.

            43. Stand transfixed in front of a mirror bobbing your head up and down.

            44. Attempt to pay for any purchases with Monopoly money.

            45. If it's Christmas, ask the mall Santa to spank your a$$!

            46. Answer any unattended service phones that ring in department stores and say "Domino's."

            47. Try on flea collars at the pet store while occasionally pausing to scratch yourself.

            48. At the stylist, ask to have the hair on your back shaped like a donkey.

            49. Show people your driver's license and ask them "Hey, does he look like a pervert"?

            50. Buy a jawbreaker from the candy store. Return fifteen minutes later, fish it out of your mouth, and demand to know why it hasn't turned blue yet.
            nice list!!!
            Last edited by THE SHIELD; 02-20-2004, 11:28 AM.
            [QUOTE]
            If someone uses one of your quotes, it really means that they agree with it and they're upset they didn't get the chance to say it first---- Dave Navarro 1991


            The main reason I don't like the Bronco's is because every time I see their logo it reminds me of my drunk boyfriend who used to write his name in the snow with his urine then belch the letters of Elway's name----- Sandra Bernhard 1993

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            • #7
              LMFAO!! I have done a few of those things with my friends,LOL. I will have to try some of the other ones on your list.LOL.
              WE ARE WHO THEY THOUGHT WE WERE

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