"Evian is 'naive' backwards."
"Time is never wasted when you are wasted all the time."
"Booze is the answer. I don't remember the question."
"Once during Prohibition I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water." — W. C. Fields.
"I used to have a drinking problem. Now I love the stuff."
"A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory."
"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading." — Henny Youngman.
"Intoxicated /adj./ When you feel sophisticated without being able to pronounce it."
"I was drowning my sorrows but they learned to swim."
"You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on." — Dean Martin.
"If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving, you don't actually live longer; it just seems longer." — Clement Freud.
"If drinking is evil, then why did Jesus turn water to wine ?"
"Drink Beer ! It removes unsightly flab and wrinkles ! (on the person you're looking at, if you drink enough of it)"
"To some it's a six pack, to me it's a support group."
"Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat." — Alex Levine.
"Time is never wasted when you are wasted all the time."
"Booze is the answer. I don't remember the question."
"Once during Prohibition I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water." — W. C. Fields.
"I used to have a drinking problem. Now I love the stuff."
"A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory."
"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading." — Henny Youngman.
"Intoxicated /adj./ When you feel sophisticated without being able to pronounce it."
"I was drowning my sorrows but they learned to swim."
"You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on." — Dean Martin.
"If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving, you don't actually live longer; it just seems longer." — Clement Freud.
"If drinking is evil, then why did Jesus turn water to wine ?"
"Drink Beer ! It removes unsightly flab and wrinkles ! (on the person you're looking at, if you drink enough of it)"
"To some it's a six pack, to me it's a support group."
"Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat." — Alex Levine.
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