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  • Looking for opinions:

    How much older is too much older?

    I have a friend who recently met a guy. She really likes him, they've gone out a couple of times and really hit it off... They 'click'.

    Here's the catch: He's significantly older than she is. He doesn't have a problem with it (surprise, surprise ), and it doesn't really bother her either, which surprises her a little... just goes to show how much she likes this guy. The problem is that everyone around her thinks he's too old for her... I say go for it, if she likes the guy, and he likes her, but that's just me.

    So I thought I'd ask you guys. You all can be objective because you don't know her. I trust your opinions. This board has become my sounding board about a lot of things, and maybe I'll have some good news to go back and tell her...

    She has always been mature... and he says he doesn't feel as old as he is (she doesn't think he looks that old, either).

    She's about my age (26)... and I won't tell you how old he is, because I want you to be completely objective... What is the absolute outside, where you thing "Man, that guy is WAY too old for her" ? How old can he be without you thinking ?



    And just out of curiosity, would it be different if he was the younger one, and she was older? What do you think about age differences that direction?

    Thanks, all!
    sigpic

  • #2
    hmm.... well 10 yrs.. well thats tooo far...
    i have a feeling that he is like late 40's or early 50's... and thats cool.. cos the guy has done alright for himself... but u see... my mates aunty did a similar thing... and it was all sweet cakes and candied apples... till the guy got to like 60... he wasnt able to produce offspring without a truckload of viagra and his little boys looked like homers double headed sperm from the nuclear plant... and they got a divorce... cos he was ready to retire... and she was angry that he took her best years away from her... and now he was ready to pack it in.... SHE WENT CRAZY!!!

    well thats my 2 cents on that topic...

    good luck...

    sigpic

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    • #3
      I know quite a few women who've had relationships with or married someone twenty years older and they've been fine.

      I think for me twenty years older would be the limit although if I did meet someone and found out he was older still but it felt right then I'd probably change my mind.

      There were a couple in the local newspaper yesterday who'd recently got married.

      She was eighteen and he was 66! That is too much of an age gap IMO
      Last edited by Jaws; 05-23-2006, 05:21 AM.

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      • #4
        As long as they are both consenting adults and both are cool with it then who cares what everyone else thinks?
        Patriotic dissent is a luxury of those protected by better men than they.

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        • #5
          Originally posted by LDB
          As long as they are both consenting adults and both are cool with it then who cares what everyone else thinks?
          yeah.. i should have probably stoppped rambling before... but my moral is that i dont really care... i dont think anyone should... neither should this robyn hood person really... im sure it will work out alright... they r both old enough to know what they r doing...
          good luck to them... and just accept and support... that is what i think...

          sigpic

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          • #6
            Originally posted by anton1287
            yeah.. i should have probably stoppped rambling before... but my moral is that i dont really care... i dont think anyone should... neither should this robyn hood person really... im sure it will work out alright... they r both old enough to know what they r doing...
            good luck to them... and just accept and support... that is what i think...
            Well, I think that a true friend is one that will give advice and caution impulsive and potentially destructive decisions. I care what decisions my friends make, especially if it is something that I feel could be bad for them. Good friends give advice even if it isn't what the person wants to hear.

            And I think that is what redbirdy is looking to do. I am sure she has her own opinion but is looking at it from other perspectives...which is always a good idea.
            Patriotic dissent is a luxury of those protected by better men than they.

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            • #7
              I don't think there is an actual line anywhere... besides the obvious 'too young' line... legally.

              I think that it's a case by case decision that can only be made by those involved. I have my OWN personal lines in my mind of what I think is too much of an age gap... but given the right circumstances those could probably change as well.

              If the age isn't an issue when they're spending time together... i.e. they're very comfortable around each other, it shouldn't be an issue. Unless there's other issues like he's too old to have kids or doesn't want any kids because of his age and she does... but that's between them as well.

              Oh... and tell her I said hi.

              Comment


              • #8
                My initial reaction is to agree with everyone else on here, and basically I do. I think age is largely irrelevant because it depends on the person. I've met 30-year-olds who walk around acting like they're senior citizens and 70-year-olds who act so much younger I don't believe them when they tell me their age.

                The only thing to keep in mind for her is she needs to ask herself what she wants from the relationship. If she gets really involved with this guy and starts thinking about marriage, family, etc. then she needs to take a good hard look. If he is [I]significantly[I] older than her than she might be facing a life of basically raising children alone and, in the worst case, having to take care of him as well. Just something for her to think about if the relationship starts developing that way.

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                • #9
                  It would be my dream to trade in for a new 21 year old about every 10 years so I don't think there is a problem with age difference if it's for the right reason.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    If he makes her happy.


                    That's all that matters.



                    ****Tell her to trust her gut****

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                    • #11
                      I don't expect many people to agree with me, but if we're talking relationships and not just flings, here's what I think. If the guy's:
                      17-20 - 2 years
                      21-24 - 3 years
                      25-29 - 4 years
                      30-35 - 5 years
                      36-41 - 6 years
                      42-47 - 7 years
                      48-55 - 8 years

                      So since your friend is 26, I think 31 or 32 is OK. But I'm looking at this from my perspective. I'm a guy and if I was say...34, 26 would be too young IMO. I'd feel like a dirty old man. And having a sister that's 26, I wouldn't really want her going out with someone 32+. THat being said, she's dating a 34 year old.
                      Last edited by In-com-plete; 05-23-2006, 07:30 AM.

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                      • #12
                        [QUOTE=redbirdy80]How much older is too much older?

                        I have a friend who recently met a guy. She really likes him, they've gone out a couple of times and really hit it off... They 'click'.

                        Here's the catch: He's significantly older than she is. He doesn't have a problem with it (surprise, surprise ), and it doesn't really bother her either, which surprises her a little... just goes to show how much she likes this guy. The problem is that everyone around her thinks he's too old for her... I say go for it, if she likes the guy, and he likes her, but that's just me.

                        So I thought I'd ask you guys. You all can be objective because you don't know her. I trust your opinions. This board has become my sounding board about a lot of things, and maybe I'll have some good news to go back and tell her...

                        She has always been mature... and he says he doesn't feel as old as he is (she doesn't think he looks that old, either).

                        She's about my age (26)... and I won't tell you how old he is, because I want you to be completely objective... What is the absolute outside, where you thing "Man, that guy is WAY too old for her" ? How old can he be without you thinking ?



                        And just out of curiosity, would it be different if he was the younger one, and she was older? What do you think about age differences that direction?

                        Thanks, all! /QUOTE]

                        My opion is is up to 15 years older can be okay. It all depends on how the older person acts. eg if they act young and share the same interests then I say it is
                        NHL Blog at:NHL Blog by Medford Bronco!

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                        • #13
                          Well as long as she is a consenting adult.

                          Think about it........about a few generations ago it was customary that men date and marry younger women.

                          Young women can be very attractive to a much older man. And I'm sure the woman sees a little bit of security and stability in the older man.
                          Emancipate your mind!
                          The People's Poster

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                          • #14
                            I'd say 10 years older than her is the limit. But me personally I do not go for people that much older than me. If he is significantly as in 30+ then I see a major problem. That's just ... eww. Reminds me of 'Big Daddy' or whatever that Adam Sandler movie is where his girlfriend dumped him for some old Sugar Daddy. Blech!!
                            The Browns are gone; I'm not a fan of the Impostors

                            The real Browns are in Baltimore, see?

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Dawgfan
                              I'd say 10 years older than her is the limit. But me personally I do not go for people that much older than me. If he is significantly as in 30+ then I see a major problem. That's just ... eww. Reminds me of 'Big Daddy' or whatever that Adam Sandler movie is where his girlfriend dumped him for some old Sugar Daddy. Blech!!

                              But he has a 5 year plan!




                              ...What's the plan? Don't Die!?

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