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  • #16
    Originally posted by Buff_bronc_fan
    But he has a 5 year plan!




    ...What's the plan? Don't Die!?
    Didnt he end up opening a Hooters or something?!

    Anyway....back on track.

    I say as long as its not a Anna Nicole Smith kinda marriage, and she feels comfy with this guy...she should try it for a while, see where it goes.
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    Adopted by: Peanut

    "You find ways to win and certainly you can find ways to lose...it's not just dumb luck."
    -Sean Payton

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    • #17
      Originally posted by redbirdy80
      How much older is too much older?

      I have a friend who recently met a guy. She really likes him, they've gone out a couple of times and really hit it off... They 'click'.

      Here's the catch: He's significantly older than she is. He doesn't have a problem with it (surprise, surprise ), and it doesn't really bother her either, which surprises her a little... just goes to show how much she likes this guy. The problem is that everyone around her thinks he's too old for her... I say go for it, if she likes the guy, and he likes her, but that's just me.

      So I thought I'd ask you guys. You all can be objective because you don't know her. I trust your opinions. This board has become my sounding board about a lot of things, and maybe I'll have some good news to go back and tell her...

      She has always been mature... and he says he doesn't feel as old as he is (she doesn't think he looks that old, either).

      She's about my age (26)... and I won't tell you how old he is, because I want you to be completely objective... What is the absolute outside, where you thing "Man, that guy is WAY too old for her" ? How old can he be without you thinking ?



      And just out of curiosity, would it be different if he was the younger one, and she was older? What do you think about age differences that direction?

      Thanks, all!

      Emotional maturity and similar interests have nothing to do with physical age.


      If hey dig each other, let them be. If it works out, great. If not,oh well.

      The only thing that in important is whether he has been married or has kids, or wants any...if the relationship goes that far.

      Regardless of gender, the older person generally is less likely to want a family than the younger, either because they are too old or already have one.

      If that is not an issue, then let them figure it out for themselves and ignore all of her small minded 'friends'.

      Everybody's gotta elevate from the norm...

      The greatest list of music I don't own on CD :sad:
      You should check these guys out

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      • #18
        I have known many couples like this. My dad's friends, many of them, have lost their first wives, or divorced.

        And I am tlaking about 60+ year old guys taking second wives in their 20's and 30's.

        Now some of them were/are loaded! I mean REALLY loaded! But some of them werent.

        Almost all of them succeded.

        It boils down to are the two compatible. Do they really love each other? If so, that's all that matters. As long as they both enter the relationship with both eyes open, and she understands she might end up alone alot sooner than she might have originally planned, had she married someone her own age.

        If he makes her happy, there shouldnt be a problem.

        As for younger guys and older women. Same thing!

        When I was in my early 20's, I was hot for a woman 20 years older than me. I would have married her in a heartbeat! That age gap kept her from letting us get anywhere in our relationship though. In the end, It was the best thing for me anyway, as not long after I met my wife, but I would have...........

        I have wondered from time to time what would have happened if we had hooked up. She'd be in her 60's now. At 42, would I still be happy? Would she NOW be too old for me?

        I guess there's no real way to answer that question without actually experiencing it. I'd like to think I would still be happy, but I know we would not have had any children, and I would not be a father. That part doesnt thrill me. I love being a dad!

        Yet, I really loved her.

        Redbirdy, tell her to go with what her heart says! Only she can make her decisions. I hope she chooses whats best for her.

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        • #19
          Thank you, to everyone!

          I was pretty sure that if I asked a group of objective people, who don't know her, and don't already have pre-set ideas in their heads of what's best for her, most of the opinions would be that it should be ok...

          Here are a few more details... like I said, she's 26. He is 40.

          She is very mature, and always has been. Then she had a kid pretty young, and had to grow up even more then... she's by far and away more mature than most of my other friends that are the same age...

          Him, I don't know that much about, other than what she's told me... but she says he 'doesn't feel his age'...

          Plus, it turns out that he has a kid the same age as hers. Which means it's not like he's moved on with his life, had his kids 10 years ago, and is done... they're kind of at the same point in her life.

          I think she's decided that she's ok with the age, in and of itself... it's the other related factors they'll have to talk about as the relationship progresses, if it does. Things like does he want MORE kids, etc, because I know she does.

          Anyways, thanks for your opinions... she was happy to hear that most people outside of the situation wouldn't have a problem with it.

          Feel free to weigh back in...
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          • #20
            A 14 year gap is nothing! She should go for it if they both have the same wants and needs. (Kids, etc.)

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            • #21
              Originally posted by JWinn
              A 14 year gap is nothing! She should go for it if they both have the same wants and needs. (Kids, etc.)
              Right... 15 or 16 is though.



              Just playin'....

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              • #22
                Originally posted by Buff_bronc_fan
                But he has a 5 year plan!




                ...What's the plan? Don't Die!?
                LOL!!!!
                Stay out of Hooters!

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                • #23
                  I agree with JWinn - 14 years is nothing. They can still have kids (it they choose and if it goes that far) and basically have a good time for the rest of their lives. Good for them and shame on her so-called "friends" for looking down on them!

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                  • #24
                    Originally posted by LordTrychon
                    Right... 15 or 16 is though.



                    Just playin'....


                    The problem is she's 26, and he's 40. My guess is many of her friends are reacting, "EEWWW!".

                    In 25 years, when they are in their 50's they wouldnt think twice about marrying a guy 65 though. Nobody thinks of age in those years. Just about being happy.

                    Why shouldnt a girl 26 seek happiness also? If the guy is 21 or 41, whats it really matter?

                    Jared is exactly right! She shouldnt care what her friends think. THEY dont live her life! SHE DOES!

                    Maybe all the guys her age are still little boys at heart, and she want's more than just stamina in the bedroom. Maybe she wants security, love, someone she can depend on, and someone she can trust, and just isnt finding it in guys her own age where she is.

                    Ok, enough preaching, lol. I've said my thoughts on this...............

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                    • #25
                      Originally posted by JWinn


                      The problem is she's 26, and he's 40. My guess is many of her friends are reacting, "EEWWW!".

                      In 25 years, when they are in their 50's they wouldnt think twice about marrying a guy 65 though. Nobody thinks of age in those years. Just about being happy.

                      Why shouldnt a girl 26 seek happiness also? If the guy is 21 or 41, whats it really matter?

                      Jared is exactly right! She shouldnt care what her friends think. THEY dont live her life! SHE DOES!

                      Maybe all the guys her age are still little boys at heart, and she want's more than just stamina in the bedroom. Maybe she wants security, love, someone she can depend on, and someone she can trust, and just isnt finding it in guys her own age where she is.

                      Ok, enough preaching, lol. I've said my thoughts on this...............
                      Oh... don't get me wrong JWinn....

                      My gut reaction is

                      But I actually do kinda know this girl... so I'm not entirely objective... sure... but if you read my other post, this is not how I really feel...

                      After the gut reaction... who really cares?

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                      • #26
                        Originally posted by redbirdy80
                        Thank you, to everyone!

                        I was pretty sure that if I asked a group of objective people, who don't know her, and don't already have pre-set ideas in their heads of what's best for her, most of the opinions would be that it should be ok...

                        Here are a few more details... like I said, she's 26. He is 40.

                        She is very mature, and always has been. Then she had a kid pretty young, and had to grow up even more then... she's by far and away more mature than most of my other friends that are the same age...

                        Him, I don't know that much about, other than what she's told me... but she says he 'doesn't feel his age'...

                        Plus, it turns out that he has a kid the same age as hers. Which means it's not like he's moved on with his life, had his kids 10 years ago, and is done... they're kind of at the same point in her life.

                        I think she's decided that she's ok with the age, in and of itself... it's the other related factors they'll have to talk about as the relationship progresses, if it does. Things like does he want MORE kids, etc, because I know she does.

                        Anyways, thanks for your opinions... she was happy to hear that most people outside of the situation wouldn't have a problem with it.

                        Feel free to weigh back in...
                        Bah. That's nothing.

                        My best friend dated a guy who was 42 at the time...she was.......let me do my math.....22?



                        That ended because he drank too much, not because of the age.

                        So 14 years is no big deal, especially since their kids are about the same area of development. That's a gold mine of common interest right there.

                        Everybody's gotta elevate from the norm...

                        The greatest list of music I don't own on CD :sad:
                        You should check these guys out

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                        • #27
                          It's not like 40 yr olds have one foot in the grave.
                          That age difference doesn't seem that drastic to me and if your friend is as mature as you say she is for her age she probably appreciates an older mature man anyway and not the ones who don't act their age.

                          Hope it works out for your friend.

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                          • #28
                            Originally posted by LordTrychon
                            Oh... don't get me wrong JWinn....

                            My gut reaction is

                            But I actually do kinda know this girl... so I'm not entirely objective... sure... but if you read my other post, this is not how I really feel...

                            After the gut reaction... who really cares?
                            Exactly! Who really cares? Further, what business is it of anyone else's? Like I said, she has to live her life, not her friends.

                            This COULD be a huge mistakle on her part to go with this guy. He could be just hoping to spend time in the sack with a younger girl, or whatever. But it has to be HER mistake to make.

                            it sounds to me like she knows what she's doing.

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                            • #29
                              Can't say much, because I'm supposed to be working (shhhhh!), but I just wanted to say thanks again. This is the kind of thing I've been telling her all along... it's not really that big of a deal. I think she's going to go for it, and I'm really happy for her.

                              (It COULD be a big mistake... but so could EVERY relationship... everything is a gamble. I don't actually think this one is any bigger than any others, but it's nice to find other people who feel the same way.)
                              sigpic

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                              • #30
                                Originally posted by redbirdy80
                                How much older is too much older?

                                I have a friend who recently met a guy. She really likes him, they've gone out a couple of times and really hit it off... They 'click'.

                                Here's the catch: He's significantly older than she is. He doesn't have a problem with it (surprise, surprise ), and it doesn't really bother her either, which surprises her a little... just goes to show how much she likes this guy. The problem is that everyone around her thinks he's too old for her... I say go for it, if she likes the guy, and he likes her, but that's just me.

                                So I thought I'd ask you guys. You all can be objective because you don't know her. I trust your opinions. This board has become my sounding board about a lot of things, and maybe I'll have some good news to go back and tell her...

                                She has always been mature... and he says he doesn't feel as old as he is (she doesn't think he looks that old, either).

                                She's about my age (26)... and I won't tell you how old he is, because I want you to be completely objective... What is the absolute outside, where you thing "Man, that guy is WAY too old for her" ? How old can he be without you thinking ?



                                And just out of curiosity, would it be different if he was the younger one, and she was older? What do you think about age differences that direction?

                                Thanks, all!
                                Age is just a small part of compatibility. There can be a big age difference and still have compatibility. You can be the same age and not compatible at all. It is important to get to know yourself and then you will be ready to share your life. To me it doesn't matter how much older or younger a person is as long as they share the same interests and activities. Have complimentary goals and ambitions and enjoy each others company. If your friend is being realistic about her expectations and how they match her partner then she should be happy.


                                ;);)


                                Watch out!!!

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