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  • this was too good not to share

    Enjoy, everyone.

    We've all had trouble with our animals, but I don’t think anyone
    can top this one:



    Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable. No matter how
    legitimate my excuse, I always get the feeling that my boss thinks
    I'm lying. On one recent occasion, I had a valid reason but lied
    anyway, because the truth was just too darned humiliating. I simply
    mentioned that I had sustained a head injury, and I hoped I would
    feel up to coming in the next day. By then, I reasoned, I could
    think up a doozy to explain the bandage on the top of my head.
    The accident occurred mainly because I had given in to my wife's
    wishes to adopt a cute little kitty. Initially, the new acquisition
    was no problem.

    Then one morning, I was taking my shower after breakfast when I
    heard my wife, Deb, call out to me from the kitchen.
    Honey! The garbage disposal is dead again. Please come reset it."
    "You know where the button is," I protested through the shower
    pitter-patter and steam. "Reset it yourself!"
    But I'm scared!" she persisted. "What if it starts going and sucks
    me in?" There was a meaningful pause and then, "C'mon, it'll only
    take you a second."

    So out I came, dripping wet and buck naked, hoping that my silent
    outraged nudity would make a statement about how I perceived her
    behavior as extremely cowardly. Sighing loudly, I squatted down and
    stuck my head under sink to find the button.
    It is the last action I remember performing.

    It struck without warning, and without any respect to my
    circumstances. No, it wasn't the hexed disposal, drawing me into its
    gnashing metal teeth. It was our new kitty, who discovered the
    fascinating dangling objects she spied hanging between my legs.


    She had been poised around the corner and stalked me as I reached
    under the sink. And, at the precise moment when I was most
    vulnerable, she leapt at the toys I unwittingly offered and snagged
    them with her needle-like claws. I lost all rational thought to
    control orderly bodily movements, blindly rising at a violent rate
    of speed, with the full weight of kitten hanging from my
    masculine region.

    Wild animals are sometimes faced with a "fight or flight" syndrome.
    Men, in this predicament, choose only the "flight” option. I know
    this from experience. I was fleeing straight up into the air when the sink and cabinet bluntly and forcefully impeded my ascent.

    The impact knocked me out cold.

    When I awoke, my wife and the paramedics stood over me. Now there
    are not many things in this life worse than finding oneself lying
    on the kitchen floor buck naked in front of a group of "been-there,
    done- that" paramedics.

    Even worse, having been fully briefed by my wife, the paramedics
    were all snorting loudly as they tried to conduct their work, all
    the while trying to suppress their hysterical laughter... and not
    succeeding.

    Somehow I lived through it all.

    A few days later I finally made it back in to the office, where
    colleagues tried to coax an explanation out of me about my head
    injury. I kept silent, claiming it was too painful to talk about,
    which it was.

    "What's the matter?" They all asked, "Cat got your tongue?"


    If they only knew!

    Why is it that only the women laugh at this?
    HEAR ME ROAR!
    sigpic
    Thanks to Freyaka for the great sig!

  • #2
    Oh man that is funny.
    [URL=http://s93.photobucket.com/user/Saddletramp69/media/asdf.jpg.html][/URL
    Adopted player Lindsey

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    • #3
      Hope you feel better soon, WhoDey! :wave:

      Comment


      • #4


        Best laugh I've had all day...

        sigpic

        Comment


        • #5
          OMG Whodey I almost wet myself laughing.

          I owe you a CP for this
          NHL Blog at:NHL Blog by Medford Bronco!

          Comment


          • #6
            cats suck......lol, i guess you learned a lesson now though

            Comment


            • #7
              So did you keep the cat after that? I would never go near another cat after that. In fact just reading that makes me not want to be near another cat ever again. Especially if I'm naked which means I'm never getting one and if the wife wants one now I have a reference on why we can't have it.

              Comment


              • #8
                To anyone who's reading this with the understanding that this was me:

                1.) I don't have a kitten.
                2.) I don't have a wife.

                Thank you for your concern, though.

                HEAR ME ROAR!
                sigpic
                Thanks to Freyaka for the great sig!

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by WhoDeyBengals
                  To anyone who's reading this with the understanding that this was me:

                  1.) I don't have a kitten.
                  2.) I don't have a wife.

                  Thank you for your concern, though.

                  Ah... well...

                  I wasn't sure if you had a kitten or not.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by LordTrychon
                    Ah... well...

                    I wasn't sure if you had a kitten or not.
                    I'm not really a cat person. I like dogs
                    HEAR ME ROAR!
                    sigpic
                    Thanks to Freyaka for the great sig!

                    Comment


                    • #11


                      I'm rolling on the floor laughing!

                      sigpic

                      Sig made by me. Click top sig to view my Graphics Portfolio.

                      There are three things you can expect in life:

                      1. Death
                      2. Taxes
                      3. The Ball Being Picked Off by Champ Bailey

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                      • #12
                        Ouch! Poor guy! He really shouldn't be under the sink naked! There are so many better uses for in the kitchen buck naked! Too funny Whodey
                        Ready for the friggen season already!

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                        • #13



                          thanks for the laugh WhoDey!
                          sigpic

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Man, I hate cats. Scary little critters.
                            The Browns are gone; I'm not a fan of the Impostors

                            The real Browns are in Baltimore, see?

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