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So... here is my rant!

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  • So... here is my rant!

    It is old news. Human nature. Rotten despicable behaviour. It is just that lately it has been happening to me a lot. I gotta get it off of my chest.


    1)Understand that my perceptions, comments and judgements are based on my own personal experience and anecdotes of over more than 3 decades.

    2)Understand that I accept that there are a lot of bad people in the world, both men and women, but that my experience and perception is based upon the behaviour of women since I have no truck with the other side of the equation.

    3)Understand that I truly believe that to betray the trust of a spouse to be one of the most despicable of behaviours imaginable.

    So... ready, set, here we go!


    I still remember the first time I heard the phrase. I had married my highschool sweetheart at 19 ( big mistake ) and one Friday night she announced that she was gonna go out with the girls for "Girls night out". Puzzled, but okay with it because I was a trusting soul... I adjusted to the idea. Then I came up with this. "Hey, since you are gonna go out with Annette, I will call Dan ( my buddy, Annettes boyfriend) and we will go out, too!" Within 10 minutes I was informed that "Girls Night Out" was not gonna happen so don't make plans with Dan. 1979.

    Looking back... that moment is so revealing. I innocently aquiesced to the dictate of the all powerful message "I am Woman Hear Me Roar" and simply responded as any person would with... "What is good for the Goose is Good for the Gander!." The fact that the evening was canceled, foreshadowed the betrayal on the horizon. She was disturbed bythe idea of Dan and I out on the town... same same as the ladies. What was it in her mind to do that whenever she imagined me doing it disturbed her so greatly? I never gave it a second thought. It was all just about good clean fun, right? 6 months later she cheated on me, lied to me, behaved despicably. No Respect, no honoring the time spent together, no upfront declaration of a new direction... simply selfish behaviour betraying SACRED VOWS given willingly before friends, family and GOD. Later I realized why she was loathe to go out on "Girls night out" if she thought I would also go out. Because she imagined me doing what it was she planned on doing!

    Back in the day... women were treated badly. Gloria Steinham, the 60's, Oprah, and Phil Donahue opened the eyes of America to the reality that women deserve respect and dignity... and that they need to demand it and require it for themselves. In this day and age, there is no reason for anyone to abuse another, or to subjagate another person. Only here is the deal...

    It went too far. "Girls Night Out" became like a right. Any guy who did not like it was branded as controlling. There popped up strip bars for women... male dancers and it became a social phenomenon. It was not like the seedy strip club scene that existed for men and still is the same. It was in nice, clean, new clubs, a show, a happening.The Chippendale Revue! Do not question our morals! Only women allowed. GIRLS NIGHT OUT. I am woman hear me roar. It was a social experience... women bonding over male strippers. They did/do it as a group thing... unlike the seedy strip clubs available to men. It empowered women. It was riske, but acceptable. Any guy who did not like his woman going to the male strip clubs... well there are plenty of gals to tell his wife how she should not be controlled by his ego. It did not matter that poor dude himself never went to seedy strip clubs himself. It was all about women taking control. Dang, women started behaving as badly as men ever did themselves. Freedom. That was back in the day. Fair is fair. We are all equal. The playing field is leveled. No harm no foul. Only 30 years later... "Girls Night Out" is still seen by and used by women as a "right"... and if a guy aint down with it... he gets labeled as a controlling jerk.

    OK. Why is Painter bringing up this history lesson? Dude is single for a year now... he does not even have a dog in this fight.

    Painter wants to testify. I swear by all I hold true and blue and sacred, that the testimony I about to give is true and accuratte to the best of my ability to recount the events and situations I will relate herein.

    Every woman is different... not all are to be lumped in here. I know there are some good women out there. True and loyal women. I hold hope that one day i myself will find one that I click with and can trust. I am open to that. And I again acknowledge that there are disloyal and untrustworthy men out there.


    "Girls Night Out" is not some innocent deal, guys. Maybe your woman is not one of the ones... but dang, son! I am here to tell you all that "Girls Night Out" disgusts me. Over the last year, and all the pther periods I have been single, I have observed and been around countless groups of women out on the prowl. Consistantly I look for a ring, and I specificly ask if they are taken. Holy Smokes! The things that go on when Girls Go Out!

    Two weeks ago... at the Buffalo Rose... I was pretty much accosted, or manhandled by two women, and I liked it! Only then a friend of theirs gave them incredible grief. I wondered why. Suddenly I looked around. A table of 7 women. Three of them were wearing rings. The gal that scorned her friends... stepped over to me and sternly told me to leave them alone... they were married! As if I wanted a thing to do with another mans disloyal wife! But the point is... there are some good women out there. Lots of bad women , too.

    I go out alone... I plan to come home alone. I f I could meet someone nice... I still would come home alone. I am holding out for something more than lust... and certainly more than cheating in a one night stand with someone elses wife. Yet that opportunity arises for me quite often. I despise the women who decieve me into thinking they are single... play me all night... then proposition me... always an hour or two prior to closing time. I am looking for a date... a girlfriend... not fornication!

    I told as much to a friend of mine recently. He shook his head sadly... and told me I was a fool. He said he was scoring big time with married women and he was loving every minute of it. "You have been cheated on yourself" said he "why not just get yours now?" I did not say a word to him. The look on my face told him all he needed to know. I have not seen him since. I do not respect him any longer.

    Six months ago... in talking with friends about my breakup... I expressed to a good friend's wife my disbelief that I hd been cheated on. She scoffed.

    "Get real. Any time a woman wants to get laid... it is as close as the nearest bar. It might not be Brad Pitt... but she can go out... do the dirty deed... never tell a soul, even her closest friend... and nobody is the wiser."

    "Really?" I responded halfheartedly, knowing it was true. "Do you think it happens a lot?" I asked. She laughed out loud at me. She told me though women can do that and never tell a soul and no one will know... they often do tell their friends. And she assured me that it happens plenty and often.

    That reminded me of a time on a Fall Friday at the Little Bear. There was ike 10 or 12 guys and the rest were good looking gals, like over 30 of them. I was looking for a date made sure there was no ring. Romanced her... she led me on. End of the night she only wanted one thing in the back of my truck. I was shocked. She said " I told you I was not married, but I have lived with a guy fo 8 years now, we only have tonight!" I got angry and complained that I wasted my evening withher when there were women I could have met to date in abundance. She laughed out loud. "Don't you get it?" she asked with derision "All those women are hooked up or married. Today is the first day of hunting season!"

    There are good people in the world. I guess like maybe 15 percent. The rest have no morals.

    Are you a good one? Simple test. In a situation or occasion or oportunity that arises. You have a chance to .... You ask yourself one question.

    Moral people ask themselves and act accordingly "Is it right or wrong?"
    Immoral people ask themselves and act accordingly "Will I get caught?"

    Who are you?
    Last edited by PAINTERDAVE; 06-04-2006, 01:26 AM.
    - Go Broncos 2017 and Beyond! -

    Super Bowl 50 CHAMPIONS!

  • #2
    That was a very interesting rant Painter.
    You have the longest post, but I read them because they are well written and always interesting.

    Always good to see the Colorado Kid on the boards.
    (By the way, I'm a "Is it right or is it wrong" person. )
    Emancipate your mind!
    The People's Poster


    • #3
      Thanks Painter.....I'm sure it feels good to get that out.

      I'm probably more of an 'Is it right or wrong' person.....



      • #4

        Not all women are like that. I, for one, was married for almost 13 years and it never would have crossed my mind to go out looking for another man. I believe that if things are truly that bad that you need to go out behind your spouses back and look for another, be woman enough to go through counseling, talk to spouse or in some way, shape or form end the relationship. Bringing another person into the relationship by cheating creates even more animosity. I must be an old soul in that I don't think I could go out and have a one night stand, the thought in fact makes me sick. Without feelings of the heart, sex means nothing to me. Perhaps you are looking in all the wrong places. Looking for women in the bar isn't the place you are going to find a "good" woman. I don't go out to bars, because I am not looking for that. I completely understand your rant as it would bother me also. I just had a commercial real estate that we work with ask me out for coffee. So we are talking back and forth through emails, then when I ask if he's married (I had assumed he wasn't) he stated yea, but things aren't really working out. End of conversation, haven't talked to him since.
        Ready for the friggen season already!


        • #5
          Good post Painter!

          Being on the end of a relationship where she needed "a girls night out" I completely know what you're saying. I thought it to be innocent myself until I found out the truth. After I was single myself for a while I noticed how often this type of behaviour goes on and was stunned. You might be surprised to learn how many married folks frequent bars or dance clubs BY THEMSELVES without their significant other. Temptation is all around us and unless you have a very strong bond with somebody, temptation will always prevail.

          Of course if none of that would have happened I wouldn't have met my soul mate
          that I'm married to now so it was a blessing in disguise.

          Make no mistake though that it's not just the "girls night out" that destroys relationships, the guys are just as much to blame here as well. Simply, if you go out, you should want to go together, otherwise you may be going out for all the wrong reasons.


          • #6
            Back when I was married, I made a point of not going out without my wife. Not even poker night at a friends house, just didn't feel it was right. She did the same, except for when I was deployed. haha

            Al Davis leads yet another squad to the brink of mediocrity.

            Code Of Conduct
            ARTICLE VI: I will never forget that I am an American, fighting for freedom, responsible for my actions, and dedicated to the principles which made my country free. I will trust in my God and in the United States Of America.


            • #7
              yeah and i'm tired of those little flaps on coffee lids! if you don't wanna spill your coffee you shouldn't be drivin with it!
              the space that is mine

              We miss 'ya brother dime. We know your up there jamming with Cliff and Chuck. Stay metal :salute: :rockon:


              • #8
                Mens night out= an empty bottle of Jack, a wrecked Camaro, and a Bondsman on speed-dial.

                Womens night out= a mostly full bottle of Jack, a non-wrecked Camaro and a woman ready to rip off your clothes.


                • #9
                  Well, gotta admit, I was a hewhore back in college.....

                  ...nothing proud enough to talk about here, but my 'morals' weren't exactly outstanding...

                  ...but after being shafted by so many women in my young life, I think it was my way of 'getting even' with the other sex......

        's just that to this day.....

                  ...I'm not for sure whether I've won, lost, or tied......
                  "It does not take a majority to prevail, but rather an irate,
                  tireless minority keen on setting brushfires of freedom in the minds of

                  -- Samuel Adams

                  sigpicJacks RULE!!!!!!


                  • #10
                    What a great post!!!

                    I will admit that I am now a "is it right or wrong?" guy until I can figure out "Will I get caught?".

                    I thought to myself that you had seen the light in the first half of your post then the second half of the post you turned around and headed directly away from the light.

                    Things did go to far with Western sufferage. I agree 100%. Now that I live in SE Asia, I see these male dominated cultures and absolutely think western women, non-government organizations, and manipulative foreign interest politics should not change societys into McAamericas.

                    But back to your rant....

                    My view is "its yin and yang", Nobody is 100% good. Everybody has their own degree of each. This was explained to me by my Thai girlfriend and verified by my Thai girl on the side.

                    Boy, I'd like to post more. Painter, it sounds like you are in a good place. You just haven't figured it out yet. Do you really want to get married again to another potential lie?

                    "I am the eggman... HOO... I am the Walrus... Koo Koo Ka Choo" - Jay Cutler


                    • #11
                      Forgive me, but you sound bitter...

                      The last girls night out I participated in consisted of 5 women, some booze, some pool and a jukebox. We don't go out to "scope men"...not all of us. Once being in a long term relationship, here is what went down......

                      * I work all week, come home and make dinner. I then clean house and do laundry. All the while he sits there.....he just sits there. If I would have had a child, I would have been doing the mommy thing as well. All the while I'm sure he would have probably just sat there....thinking that his 40 hr work week was harder than mine and that he "deserves" to just sit there.

                      * I would cancel my plans when he'd whine that we never spent time together, then he'd up and go out with a buddy or a friend at the drop of a hat....leaving me there all alone....with cancelled plans.

                      * We'd be in a car and at a stop light. He'd not only eyeball a girl next to us...but FLIRT and SMILE while I was in the car! This has happened with several guys.
                      I'm not saying don't look....just don't try to pick her up while I'm there.

                      The funny thing is....I DO THE SAME STUFF AS GUYS. Sports, video games, beer, name it...I do it. Hell, I will even buy my guy a lap dance and get one for myself as well. Most of the guys I have been with DO NOT WANT THAT. It has made no difference to any of them. It was never good enough. I, in fact was never good enough. Even if I were perfect, I'd never be good enough. I am, good enough for myself. So now that is who I am serious with....ME! I LOVE ME. HA!!!

                      What's the point, Julie?

                      My point is....BOTH men and women can be dogs..... Don't diss women's night out.
                      Don't do it. I'm sorry you've been screwed over, but I have too and ya know...I can't blame it on nights out with the boys.

                      I did get your point. And I know it's a rant and just your opinion. It's just a shame you feel that way. If you only knew the things I have gone through with'd be in shock.

                      As far as women cheating? Would I do it? NO, but I'll be damned if I throw rocks at anyone. I won't know what that feels like until I have been there and done that. At one point in time I thought it was the most unforgivable act...after watching somebody I love go through it.....I can see how a person (a woman) can become so distorted over the years that they end up off track. Like I's easy to see certain things clearly from a far...but once you are closer, you lose that clearity.

                      Oh well.....

                      I don't know anything...I'm still single.
                      I'm the best date I've ever had, lol.
                      Last edited by Jewels; 06-05-2006, 05:28 AM.


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Jewels
                        I don't know anything...I'm still single.
                        I'm the best date I've ever had, lol.
                        I know that feeling, I was a great date this weekend!

                        Al Davis leads yet another squad to the brink of mediocrity.

                        Code Of Conduct
                        ARTICLE VI: I will never forget that I am an American, fighting for freedom, responsible for my actions, and dedicated to the principles which made my country free. I will trust in my God and in the United States Of America.


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Reidman
                          Make no mistake though that it's not just the "girls night out" that destroys relationships, the guys are just as much to blame here as well. Simply, if you go out, you should want to go together, otherwise you may be going out for all the wrong reasons.
                          Great point, Reid....