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Great Moments in Stupidity

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  • Great Moments in Stupidity

    You know how it goes - you get a great e-mail, and you just gotta share. Enjoy!

    1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP? AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance package. Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence.

    2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS: Police in Oakland CA spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them in the police line shouting, "Please come out and give yourself up!"

    3. WHAT WAS PLAN B??? An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines, wherein the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.

    4. THE GETAWAY! A man walked into a Topeka, KS Kwik Stop and asked for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently the take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.

    5. DID I SAY THAT??? Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words: "Give me all your money or I'll shoot," the man shouted, "That's not what I said!"

    6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING??? A man spoke frantically into the phone: "My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart." "Is this her first child?" the doctor asked. "No!" the man shouted, "This is her husband!"

    7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED! In Modesto, CA, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun. Unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket. (Hellooooooo!)

    8. THE GRAND FINALE!!! Last summer down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert an hour east of Bakersfield, CA, some folks new to boating were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get their brand new 22 foot boat going. It was very sluggish in almost every maneuver no matter how much power they applied. After about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted into a nearby marina, thinking someone there may be able to tell them what was wrong. A thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working condition. The engine ran fine, the out-drive went up and down, and the propeller was the correct size and pitch. So one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath. He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard.
    (NOW REMEMBER...THIS IS TRUE.)
    Under the boat, still strapped securely in place... was the trailer
    HEAR ME ROAR!
    sigpic
    Thanks to Freyaka for the great sig!

  • #2
    And here I expected the announcement of your new Autobiography.


    But that boat thing?

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by LordTrychon
      And here I expected the announcement of your new Autobiography.
      Nah.

      My Autobiography will be titled, "Dealing with Social Misfits: How I Came to Know LordTrychon"

      HEAR ME ROAR!
      sigpic
      Thanks to Freyaka for the great sig!

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by WhoDeyBengals
        Nah.

        My Autobiography will be titled, "Dealing with Social Misfits: How I Came to Know LordTrychon"

        Die, Whodey, Die!

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by LordTrychon
          Die, Whodey, Die!
          I miss talking to you, too.
          HEAR ME ROAR!
          sigpic
          Thanks to Freyaka for the great sig!

          Comment


          • #6
            Its nice to see you two getting along!

            Comment


            • #7
              We could call this, the STUPID NEWS!

              Funny stuff WhoDey.

              sigpic

              Sig made by me. Click top sig to view my Graphics Portfolio.

              There are three things you can expect in life:

              1. Death
              2. Taxes
              3. The Ball Being Picked Off by Champ Bailey

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by WhoDeyBengals
                7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED! In Modesto, CA, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun. Unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket. (Hellooooooo!)
                This sounds like something I might do if I where a robber.

                Comment


                • #9
                  One of my friend's ex-girlfriends asked us if pigs had blood. . . wow.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Dream
                    One of my friend's ex-girlfriends asked us if pigs had blood. . . wow.
                    Out of curiosity, was she blonde?

                    sigpic

                    Sig made by me. Click top sig to view my Graphics Portfolio.

                    There are three things you can expect in life:

                    1. Death
                    2. Taxes
                    3. The Ball Being Picked Off by Champ Bailey

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      I worked with a girl in Ireland who used to amaze me with the stuff she came up with.

                      1st day of work, she asked how to use the microwave(21 and she'd never used the microwave at home)
                      Asked if Canada was in the EU(European Union)
                      Thought only poor people ate left-overs(this when me and another workmate both had left-overs for lunch)
                      Believed me when I told her there were such things as mountain cows(like sheep and goats)

                      She gave us all many many laughs!
                      President of the GPA, Head of Mainland Europe Chapter




                      formerly Officially Adopted by saltybuggah
                      I adopted Skywalker

                      I have been adopted by Chris Wade

                      Comment

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