How consumed are you by work?

[Jared]

Work is important.

But never EVER EVER at the expanse of truly important family needs.

Also, what constitutes important can vary, but both spouses must agree to what does, so that there is no one sidedness or resentment.


I don't think this particular issue is a work issue directly, but a communciation issue at heart.

I hope it works out for you.

Also, if it not directly for you or your child, some spouses don't necessarily feel t0he need to be there for in laws and extended family of their spouse.


Again, as long as you both agree and consistently stick to what constitutes 'family emergency', you'll be ok. But you have to have that discussion first, before you get angry, because right now, it sounds like your guidelines vary from his.

[LordTrychon]

I'll admit that there are times that I COULD NOT leave work. And I know you consider me a workaholic.


If I had a family member in the hospital, I would get there as soon as possible, but I'd try not to leave my coworkers hanging either...

If I had a family member in danger or in the hospital with a chance of not making it... where me being there could be the last time to talk to them or help them... i would leave regardless, even if it cost me my job.

As for how much to hurt your husby... you know him better than any of us and will be able to figure this out. Give him hell.

[Fred the Bunny]

Work is important.

But never EVER EVER at the expanse of truly important family needs.

Also, what constitutes important can vary, but both spouses must agree to what does, so that there is no one sidedness or resentment.


I don't think this particular issue is a work issue directly, but a communciation issue at heart.

I hope it works out for you.

Also, if it not directly for you or your child, some spouses don't necessarily feel t0he need to be there for in laws and extended family of their spouse.


Again, as long as you both agree and consistently stick to what constitutes 'family emergency', you'll be ok. But you have to have that discussion first, before you get angry, because right now, it sounds like your guidelines vary from his.

The thing that bothered me was the following part of the conversation;

Me - "I really need ya right now. This is serious & I'm a bit scared."
Him - "I don't know what to tell ya, Victoria."
Me - "Okay then"
Him - "See you when I get home if you're there."
Me - " Do you think you can pick up (our son) from (friend's house) on your way home?"
Him - Pause....sigh "I'm tired Victoria. I just want to take a shower and eat something"

This was me on the inside --------> :hammer:
Yet on the outside ------------------>

I called him on the way home and TOLD him to go get our son.
He did.

I'm not a wife. I don't play that crap. Shouldn't have to. I'm wayyyy too cool to have to at anyone cuz I do most of the stuff myself anyways.
But God forbid I ask him for one thing. Two sides to every story, I'd like to know his...but he won't talk. He's not a talker and I don't like to push him.

I'm bothered by it, but I'm going to let it go. I'm not going to keep score on it. It will just take a day or so for me to eat it.

[Jared]

The thing that bothered me was the following part of the conversation;

Me - "I really need ya right now. This is serious & I'm a bit scared."
Him - "I don't know what to tell ya, Victoria."
Me - "Okay then"
Him - "See you when I get home if you're there."
Me - " Do you think you can pick up (our son) from (friend's house) on your way home?"
Him - Pause....sigh "I'm tired Victoria. I just want to take a shower and eat something"

Ok. Not my reaction, but I can't judge.

Some guys NEED to be told what to do exactly. "Honey, I am scared, and would really like you to be here with me. Can you please at least ask your bosses? And can you pick up junior on your way home, he is at a friend house?"

Because they simply don't pick up clues from tone of voice or body langauge.

Now, the part about being tired I think is crap. I'm tired. Show me a parent of a young child who ISN'T tired. But when you make a decision to have a child, you make a decision to not always think of yourself first. If that does't happen, it will cause problems.

He should be called on that. As if you AREN'T tired or something.

[Fred the Bunny]

Ok. Not my reaction, but I can't judge.

Some guys NEED to be told what to do exactly. "Honey, I am scared, and would really like you to be here with me. Can you please at least ask your bosses? And can you pick up junior on your way home, he is at a friend house?"

Because they simply don't pick up clues from tone of voice or body langauge.

Now, the part about being tired I think is crap. I'm tired. Show me a parent of a young child who ISN'T tired. But when you make a decision to have a child, you make a decision to not always think of yourself first. If that does't happen, it will cause problems.

He should be called on that. As if you AREN'T tired or something.

Yeh, I know. I work full time just like he does.

Supposed to go camping this weekend and I would like to have a small talk about a few things prior to going. I have to pick and choose my battles. Don't wanna come off as attacking him with all this stuff out of the blue. That would suck.
I'll choose the kid thing. I'll do it with tact. If things get heated then I will back away and diffuse the situation until I think of another tactic.