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Is Flirting Cheating?

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  • #76
    Originally posted by Jared
    I am.

    But being committed to my wife
    is irrelevant to recognizing when a girlfriend of mine was crazy (FYI, she is still single, according to mutual friend. And, in the definiton of insanity come to life, repeats her behavior, yet can't understand why the results are the same).

    I wouldn't try to make it work with someone like that early on. So I would not have married someone with jealousy issues.

    That being said, for the original poster, already in a marriage, I merely gave him what are his most likely three options. What I would do is not what he is asking, I think. Personally, I would try counseling. But everyone has different ideas about what is a deal breaker in marriage. SO, he can make his own choices.
    I was referring to a post re his girlfriend and your advice to him, re my comment on "the long haul".

    Nor am I married to someone who behaves jealously.

    I'm not a believer in marriage counseling though. I think if you can't work it out as a couple, another third party is not going to really help with that, but maybe even add to the problem. Maybe I get that from working in the psychology/psychiatric department for awhile though. A lot of counselors have big problems themselves, so taking their advice...it makes me squirm a bit.
    "War is an ugly thing, but not the ugliest of things. The decayed and degraded state of moral and patriotic feeling which thinks that nothing is worth war is much worse. The person who has nothing for which he is willing to fight, nothing which is more important than his own personal safety, is a miserable creature and has no chance of being free unless made and kept so by the exertions of better men than himself.

    John Stuart Mill (Look him up )

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    • #77
      No way is flirting cheating. Flirting has a lot to do with personality. I am a flirt, I am outgoing & chatty with everyone. So technically you could say I flirt with men & women.

      My husband flirts too, to his customers I'm sure. But as a partner in a restaurant, part of his job it to be pleasent to customers, make sure they had a nice time & will be back, so he has more business, i.e. more money.

      My definition of cheating is Kissing/making out, touching someone that you would not want someone touching YOUR spouse.

      In short if you could not admit to your actions, or had to hide them - IT IS CHEATING.

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      • #78
        The thing that can be harmful about flirting is interpretation - yours, theirs and your sig others -

        Im a big flirt but I am also a very jealous person (although I try to keep most of it to myself cuz i realize its usually unfounded - its just when youve gotten screwed over a few too many times you tend to lack in the trust department ) but I digress....

        I dont like seeing my guy flirt although I know (for the most part) its harmless but there is always that little nagging voice in your head (or my head anyways) that makes you think that there may be something more than just flirting happening - cuz in reality how did you meet your sig other - you probably started off by FLIRTING with them - so it, to me, is understandable why a person can get jealous over flirting - esp if you only flirt with good looking people - i know that sounds weird but a person with a genuinly innocent flirtatious personality will be that way with everyone they meet so, IMO, if a person only flirts with selected people there may be more to their flirting than meets the eye

        Now I know I can be overly jealous on the inside but I usually dont let it seep into my relationship - I tend to think Im level headed enough to get over it w/o causing a scene or having an argument about it - if it concerns me enough I will bring it to their attention but it would def. be in private
        Last edited by orangenblue420; 11-02-2006, 01:17 PM.

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        • #79
          Originally posted by topscribe
          Never felt the need to flirt. All my sexual attention and desires were toward my wife.
          It wasn't that I had dead nerve-endings. It was just that she wanted all of me, and
          that is what she got. I believe it is a symptom of how flippant society has become
          toward marriage. But to me, it is sacred, a type of relationship between Christ and
          the Church. (So I'm borderline with the COC there. So deal with it. I'm speaking my
          mind and my heart.) If I didn't love my wife so much that it brought me to tears just
          contemplating it, I would not have married her. Therefore, if I felt the need to flirt
          with other women, I would not have married her.

          But that's just me, I guess.

          -----
          What he said. Exactly.
          Patriotic dissent is a luxury of those protected by better men than they.

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          • #80
            Most of me wants to say it's not cheating, but then again, just because it's not cheating, doesn't make it right! You know what, if my girl was flirting with a guy, i'd get real jealous.

            So when it comes down to it, I'll just defer to the golden rule.

            "The Gagne T-shirt jersey comes with a complimentary can of gasoline and a set of matches."

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            • #81
              Originally posted by NJBRONCOSFAN
              Most of me wants to say it's not cheating, but then again, just because it's not cheating, doesn't make it right! You know what, if my girl was flirting with a guy, i'd get real jealous.

              So when it comes down to it, I'll just defer to the golden rule.
              CP4U

              -----

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              • #82
                Sometimes it just feels good to get attention form someone you think is attractive. It definitely doesen't feel like cheating. It's easy to justify because you actually are not physically doing anything.

                I can tell you this though, when I used to see my now ex having guys flirt with her, I wanted to punch the guys lights out.

                Besides if the girl you are with makes you happy, why look eleswhere?
                You've got to know when to sack em...

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                • #83
                  Originally posted by Jared
                  Your wife sounds insanely jealous, most likley with self esteem issues.

                  Your options are to be almost rude to any woman but her, go to couples counselingm, or get out.

                  I had a girlfriend like that in college. She came into my radio studio to bring me some pizza once, and when I put a caller on hold (because I wanted my private moment with my girlfriend...it's none of a listeners business), she freaked out ans wanted to know who I was tlaking to, and hit the phone to make it live and starting screaming at the caller "Who is this? He has a girlfriend!"

                  It was a guy, who had just won a contest.


                  The next day, I told her goodbye, and that I hope she got help.
                  Lol, Man I know the feelin'. Though I appreciate your advice and welcome it all, lol I'm pretty dead set that I'm not gonna leave my wife. I love her to death and I can see how losing me and breaking up this family could make her a little crazy so I'm up for a little jealousy.....in fact, I expected indefinitely years of it the day I took my vows. Haha I'll will think about your second bit of advice (counseling, though I don't think its gotten that far yet). Trust me I wasn't suprised by this folks. This is her typical behavior. Its almost amusing in a way. I don't really mind her yelling at me. I've grown immune to it at home. The only thing that bothers me is when she involves innocent people who had nothing to do with it. Then again maybe I could have ended it like this:

                  Me: Do you you have the new Canon/Nikon (yada yada yada)?

                  Female Employee: Sure it's over here.

                  Me: Thank You

                  Female Employee: Whats Your name

                  Me: _John Doe_________

                  Female Employee:I'm Jane Doe

                  Me: Okay nice to meet you and thanks for your help. Bye Bye."

                  But then again, Who likes boring anyway?

                  BTW, How can I get one of those cards you have?
                  "No one can be told what the Matrix is....You have to see it for yourself"

                  sigpic

                  "Playoffs? Playoffs? Playoffs? I just hope we can win a freakin' game!"- Jim Mora- IND Colts

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                  • #84
                    Originally posted by Missin#7
                    No way is flirting cheating. Flirting has a lot to do with personality. I am a flirt, I am outgoing & chatty with everyone. So technically you could say I flirt with men & women.

                    My husband flirts too, to his customers I'm sure. But as a partner in a restaurant, part of his job it to be pleasent to customers, make sure they had a nice time & will be back, so he has more business, i.e. more money.

                    My definition of cheating is Kissing/making out, touching someone that you would not want someone touching YOUR spouse.

                    In short if you could not admit to your actions, or had to hide them - IT IS CHEATING
                    I think that what I highlighted in red is the most important point. It also depends on how each person defines flirting



                    :salute:

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                    • #85
                      I do flirt all the times...
                      I'm french...


                      As long as flirting is to talk and to feel well with someone, there is no trouble... I do enjoy to speak with nice girlies and to flirt with them... But I'm a married man and I'm loyal and I love my wife... So I don't want to cheat... There is a border than I don't cross...

                      Just some bisous... (ok, the translation is kiss, but it's not what you call french kiss)... A bisou is a friendly kiss...
                      Just talk slowly please... I'm French

                      GO BRONCOS


                      (Sig made by Snk16)


                      (thousands of bisous for Thundergirl, une fille du tonnerre !!!)

                      My adoptee-a-fan are THE GIRLIES :kiss:

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                      • #86
                        Originally posted by EdmcCaff87

                        BTW, How can I get one of those cards you have?

                        Hit up Vulcan.


                        He rocks.

                        Everybody's gotta elevate from the norm...

                        The greatest list of music I don't own on CD :sad:
                        You should check these guys out

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                        • #87
                          Seems it depends on the looks. Weird theory of mine.

                          Had the lady who was helping you been ugly than it would have been a totally different story.

                          Perhaps your wife is either being insecure or doesn't trust you. Bummer.

                          sigpic

                          Sig made by me. Click top sig to view my Graphics Portfolio.

                          There are three things you can expect in life:

                          1. Death
                          2. Taxes
                          3. The Ball Being Picked Off by Champ Bailey

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