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  • Power: Fear, love, or respect?

    This is one of those questions that I tend to ponder. I know what the answer is for me, but I meet different people every day who seem to have a different take on it.

    As it regards approaches to power, which is most important, out of these three things?

    To be loved?

    To be respected?

    Or to be feared?

    This is a two step question:

    To answer the first part, merely vote in the poll.

    To answer the second, not only do I want you to explain your answer, but I want you to give me your perception of people you've met who would answer with one of the other options.

    I would prefer to be respected rather than feared or loved. I am the sum of my ideas, and my goals in life include leaving a positive mark on the world around me. I want to open people's eyes to new ideas, new ways of looking at the world, and I want them to respect me for my insight.

    I think that people who put love above all mean well; however, it's possible to love someone without putting a lot of value into what they think or believe.

    I think people who value the power of fear are short-sighted. Power gained through fear is often short-lived.

    I ask because I'm giving thought to writing a novel (or short story, haven't decided yet), and the nature of power will be a theme. Also, it's a pretty good way to get a good discussion going, because we've been clowning a lot lately, and while I love doing that ( ), I do enjoy conversations with substance from time to time.



    BONUS QUESTION: Why do you think those who value power seek it?
    36
    Fear
    27.78%
    10
    Respect
    63.89%
    23
    Love
    8.33%
    3
    HEAR ME ROAR!
    sigpic
    Thanks to Freyaka for the great sig!

  • #2
    I put fear. I think everyone wishes it could be respect and love, but I don't think that gives you as much power (or lets you keep it) as fear does.

    Ghandi had power. Not military, but power and influence. Love and respect were things that defined how people viewed him. Unfortunately, he was assasinated. I believe it was one of his followers too.

    Its just fear allows you to keep power because people are usually afraid to take it away.

    Not how I wish it was, but thats how I see it.

    Comment


    • #3
      I dont think it's really any of those.

      I think it's more confidence. Or contentment maybe. Or maybe just plain happiness.

      I have power because of these things.

      I am content with my life. I have everything I could ask for and more. For what would I need power for? Over who?

      I am confident because I know where I am going, where I've been, and what I am doing. In life. Comprende? And I know my limits, even though there are times I push them.

      Ya gotta push em to grow!

      For most of us, power is nothing more than an illusion. Yeah, a cop can have power over a perp, and a store clerk can have power over a customer. But in reality, I believe we all either give ourselves power, or let others have it over us.

      I know as the customer, I have the final say, which gives ME the power. The power to either leave my money at the store, or not.

      And in a confrontation with a cop, I know I can still retain the power. It's all in the way I behave. If I act like he or she has power over me, then he or she automatically does.

      For instance, I dont sit in my seat at Invesco. I stand, and pace the handicapped area in front of section 309. Who do I stand with?

      COPS!

      Cops who ask me, "Where's your seat?" To which I respond, "Your standing on it!".

      You see, I know they are only hired help. I know they arent there to enforce where I sit. As long as I am not breaking any LAWS, or causing any PROBLEMS, they have no power over me. NONE! ZIP! NADA!

      My confidence stops them in their tracks.

      I know that those who DO enforce where I sit, or stand as the case may be, allow me to do as I please. Because they know me.

      The same is true out on the open road. Confidence gives me the power to drive as I please. I dont break the laws, except for a bit of speeding like anyone else, and I DO NOT act any differently around cops!


      Blah blah blah, right? Well, too bad.


      Bonus question!!

      Because they have tiny peckers! Of course!

      Seriously, because they have let others in the past have power over them.
      Last edited by JWinn; 11-01-2006, 10:56 PM.

      Comment


      • #4
        I could respect someone I didn't love, but could never respect someone I hated.

        Respect garners for more power.
        President of the GPA, Head of Mainland Europe Chapter




        formerly Officially Adopted by saltybuggah
        I adopted Skywalker

        I have been adopted by Chris Wade

        Comment


        • #5
          Respect was my poll vote.

          Funny, I actually think the hardest thing in life to achieve is love, not respect. I believe love is a gift and rare. Only a few in one's life are given love with devotion or as a 'given'. Then love can be a two-edged sword at times, not only in couple hood, but with family or friends. I am of the personality who cannot love until I respect someone. Children are the exception to any rules in love, as you are the teacher vs. having expectations of maturity and wisdom yet, and if your child, they are loved in lieu of all else, therefore...the 'given'.

          Fear. This is an interesting choice, WhoDey. For some, creating fear in others is the equivalent to Power. Sometimes children fear what they may get into trouble for, and the Fear is what keeps them on track. Some women I know, Fear everything in life, therefore the Fear is what runs their life. Fear can be controlling and powerful. Fear can be used to save your own life or someone else's that you love. For the paranoid personalities, they fear all and trust not, and literally act in life on all the 'possibilities' or the 'what ifs', shooting themselves in the foot acting on accusations vs. fact, or ruining someone else's life because they, themselves, could not trust another. Fear is powerful, no matter in what form it's found.

          Respect. Subjective, as this is defined differently by individuals, as far as why or what we respect. I personally respect people who act on what they say and do not like lip service. I respect people who do not have a different set of values or character-requirements for different individuals within their life---they request the same from their co-worker as they would their brother and visa versa, not selective values. I respect when people give back when they have been given to. I respect ambition, but not at the cost of their family members. I respect someone who gives me the benefit of the doubt, because I have earned it, and do not like rash judgments without using thought. I respect people who can laugh at themselves; because that is a sign they are comfortable with themselves. Signs of insecurity are those who can dish it out but cannot take it in return. I respect those who are faithful to me and 'watch my back'. I respect men who protect and teach to children, invest themselves in a child's life, because far too many men only scratch the surface with children and they are needed by kids as much as woman. I respect someone wanting someone else's point of view, and that they are continually interested in others and life, and haven't got it 'all wrapped up yet'. I respect people who have expectations of others.

          Bonus Question: Those who seek Power and why they seek it. This is a snap. They seek it because they feel insecure and power, authority, being ahead of all others is the only way they can feel secure. They feel secure when others feel scared or intimidated. They seek power, very rarely for good, but mostly for extremely selfish reasons. I've met several people in my life, powerful people, that I thought were literally evil or without a regret of anything, literally could care less, like people to know it, ruin peoples lives, and so on. These are the people in life you must be careful with and protect ones self. These are people who need revenge and like to make it hurt. These are the people who base everything they do in their lives to stay ahead in the game. I do not believe people do well having actually power for very long. I honestly believe people who have power had to trade off some other valuable piece of character to retain their power, and the longer they have said-power...the less of a human being they become, little by little, and day by day.
          Last edited by His Wife; 11-02-2006, 03:49 AM.
          "War is an ugly thing, but not the ugliest of things. The decayed and degraded state of moral and patriotic feeling which thinks that nothing is worth war is much worse. The person who has nothing for which he is willing to fight, nothing which is more important than his own personal safety, is a miserable creature and has no chance of being free unless made and kept so by the exertions of better men than himself.

          John Stuart Mill (Look him up )

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by WhoDeyBengals
            This is one of those questions that I tend to ponder. I know what the answer is for me, but I meet different people every day who seem to have a different take on it.

            As it regards approaches to power, which is most important, out of these three things?

            To be loved?

            To be respected?

            Or to be feared?

            This is a two step question:

            To answer the first part, merely vote in the poll.

            To answer the second, not only do I want you to explain your answer, but I want you to give me your perception of people you've met who would answer with one of the other options.

            I would prefer to be respected rather than feared or loved. I am the sum of my ideas, and my goals in life include leaving a positive mark on the world around me. I want to open people's eyes to new ideas, new ways of looking at the world, and I want them to respect me for my insight.

            I think that people who put love above all mean well; however, it's possible to love someone without putting a lot of value into what they think or believe.

            I think people who value the power of fear are short-sighted. Power gained through fear is often short-lived.

            I ask because I'm giving thought to writing a novel (or short story, haven't decided yet), and the nature of power will be a theme. Also, it's a pretty good way to get a good discussion going, because we've been clowning a lot lately, and while I love doing that ( ), I do enjoy conversations with substance from time to time.



            BONUS QUESTION: Why do you think those who value power seek it?

            Short answer to number 1: Respect.

            Love is great, but it can lead to misguided actions.

            Fear is how people rule who know they should not be ruling.

            Respect makes people genuinely want to help you out, because they know you are worthy and doing your best. Even if they don't always agree with you.


            Bonus: Because they assess no value to their own life, other than in how others see them.

            Generally, I'd say most people who seek power, whether through fear (A dictator, a drug lord, etc) or legit means (through the democratic process), generally have some or all of the perosnality traits of psychological narcissism.

            Therefore, they need to ensure that everyone in their immediate sphere of influence sees them as they see themselves. Dictators also combine this narssisitic trait with paranoia and sometimes psychopathic behavior traits, getting rid of disesnters by any means necessary.
            Last edited by Jared; 11-02-2006, 05:42 AM.

            Everybody's gotta elevate from the norm...

            The greatest list of music I don't own on CD :sad:
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            • #7
              You forgot money......
              SPORT IS LIKE PHOTOGRAPHY,...IF YOU DONT FOCUS,YOU JUST GET NEGATIVES



              Born-1990
              Got ipod- 2004




              Oh! this one time i saw a blimp!

              Comment


              • #8
                It's fear, by a mile.



                If you are feared people will not oppose you, and respect comes with fear as well. If you're respected or loved, people will still want to oppose you but they will have nothing to be afraid of, and you will be weaker. Take someone like Stalon for example, he was probably one of the most sinister human being ever to set foot on this earth, but people feared him and through that he gained alot of power. The same goes for Hitler, anyone who openly disagreed with him or tried to oppose him were killed or sent to camps. Not just people of the jewish faith, but also Germans who didn't agree with what he was doing were either executed or put in jail.

                Even look at North Korea right now, they tested a nuclear device without the approval from the UN. But is anyone demanding they stop immediatly? Is anyone taking action? No, because they're afraid of the technology and firepower North Korea has right now, and no direct action will be taken.

                Comment


                • #9
                  I think it is a combination of fear and respect.

                  You cannot have power without respect/fear. Or at least IMHO.
                  The Browns are gone; I'm not a fan of the Impostors

                  The real Browns are in Baltimore, see?

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Fear will only keep you in power for so long...eventually, as civil unrest from fear grows, people realize that they are no longer alone in their fear, and their fear slowly turns into strength and courage. Look at all of the rulers over time that tried to rule through fear...if they didn't get ousted from power, they wound up dead.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      It is fear.

                      Love can go away and respect can be withered.

                      However, if worked at, fear will always be there. People never grow old of fear; you never grow old of your life being threatened or seeing other people dying due to their "wrongdoings". Fear can also come in a variety of packages.


                      "When Kepler found his long-cherished belief did not agree with the most precise observation, he accepted the uncomfortable fact. He preferred the hard truth to his dearest illusions; that is the heart of science."
                      - Carl Sagan

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        I believe I would want to be respected most of all. Love and Fear can both result in you being killed by a nut case. But to be respected is to say no matter how much I think your wrong, no matter how much I think you don't deserve to live, no matter how much evidence I collect to throw in your face to prove I AM that I AM, I respect you and I will now and forever hold my peace
                        "No one can be told what the Matrix is....You have to see it for yourself"

                        sigpic

                        "Playoffs? Playoffs? Playoffs? I just hope we can win a freakin' game!"- Jim Mora- IND Colts

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          I'll use two extremes: God and Adolf Hitler.

                          Those who believe in God,love God. Why do they love God? They never met Him. They'll never meet Him in their current person. He doesn't even answer all of our prayers. So why do they love someone who is hard to prove? Why, for giving them life and a home and a family and some money at the right time? They probably love God because of one word:

                          Fear.

                          Most are God-fearing. If they don't "love Him" properly according to their local pastor, then they fear His wrath. A lot of people love God. But there are plenty who love God simply to avoid His wrath. So is that true love or fear?

                          Adolf Hitler was feared by his generals. Respected yes, for his was brilliant strategist in their eyes. And he turned Gernamy into a powerhouse, defying treaties and dodging Britain's passive nature. But out of all the generals that respected Hitler, most of them wanted him dead. Why? Because each and every day, their lives were in his hands. Hitler was bringing Germany down, and his was also blaming generals for inside corruption, including the numerous attempts on his life, which were due to fear.

                          The more you fear someone, the more you want to eliminate them. Believe me, if God was a physical entity, there would be attempts on His life, too. How many in here are afraid of spiders? When you see one, what do you do? Exactly.

                          Respect is good, but it can leave you surrounded by friends-turned-enemies who crave your power as a result. Old people are respected in Japan, but that's a bad example. Ain't nobody trying to take over Bingo Night in Osaka. Business owners are respected by their associates, partners, peers and underlings. But that admiration turns into a teacher-student bond that only ends up like those cheesy kung fu flicks: "Master, you teach me. Now I teach you with ass whoppin!"

                          But out of all the three, I'd choose love. Fear will ALWAYS spawn enemies. Respect will ALWAYS spawn jealousy, which in turn spawns enemies.

                          Love however, is the most powerful emotion. The next time fear and respect cure cancer, give me a call.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Devil Spawn,

                            I can't say that I agree with your "God-loving/God-fearing" analysis. I do not fear God, for I know that even though God may have plenty of reasons to harm me or smite me, he doesn't, because God is love. I don't believe that most Christians are afraid of God, then again, I could be wrong...but I think that jumping to the conclusions that most people only love God because they fear him is a bit presumptuous.

                            However, I do agree with you Hitler analysis, and I certainly think that love, fear, and respect are all viable means of maintaining leadership and power. However, let's look at it in terms of effectiveness...one of the best ways to be an effective leader is through longevity. I do not believe that fear will lead to great longevity as a leader, as evidenced by Adolf Hitler. Then again, the Romans managed to dominate much of the world for a long period of time through no other means than brute force. I certainly believe that, in today's world, love and respect will lead to more effective and long-lasting leadership than fear...so if the question is, "Out of love, fear, or respect, which of the three attributes would YOU like to have as a leader?", I will stick with respect, because although love can be given, respect must be earned.
                            Last edited by Big Buck 1981; 11-03-2006, 08:17 AM.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Big Buck 1981
                              Devil Spawn,

                              I can't say that I agree with your "God-loving/God-fearing" analysis. I do not fear God, for I know that even though God may have plenty of reasons to harm me or smite me, he doesn't, because God is love. I don't believe that most Christians are afraid of God, then again, I could be wrong...but I think that jumping to the conclusions that most people only love God because they fear him is a bit presumptuous.
                              Fear is but one of many reasons that people may choose to follow any religion. But that's not within the scope of this discussion.

                              However, I do agree with you Hitler analysis, and I certainly think that love, fear, and respect are all viable means of maintaining leadership and power. However, let's look at it in terms of effectiveness...one of the best ways to be an effective leader is through longevity. I do not believe that fear will lead to great longevity as a leader, as evidenced by Adolf Hitler. Then again, the Romans managed to dominate much of the world for a long period of time through no other means than brute force. I certainly believe that, in today's world, love and respect will lead to more effective and long-lasting leadership than fear...so if the question is, "Out of love, fear, or respect, which of the three attributes would YOU like to have as a leader?", I will stick with respect, because although love can be given, respect must be earned.
                              I agree with your assessment of respect being the most essential tool that an effective leader can have, but I do take issue with your assessment of the Roman Empire. While it's true that it certainly expanded through the use of brute force, those who had been conquered by the Romans and accepted their place within the Roman society found that it had many benefits. Roads, aqueducts, sanitation, and advanced technology were boons to peoples that had lived without such things for eons. The Romans did rule through fear at first, but the people ruled by the empire came to respect the Romans. The reason for the fall of the Roman empire can be ultimately blamed on the last emperors, who spread their armies too thin and too often acted in their own self-interest as opposed to the interest of those they governed. Further proof that hereditary monarchy didn't work in the long term.
                              HEAR ME ROAR!
                              sigpic
                              Thanks to Freyaka for the great sig!

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