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  • Being A Man

    Why it is great to be a man!

    Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

    A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

    You can open all your own jars.

    Dry cleaners and hair cutters don't rob you blind.

    You can go to the bathroom without a support group.

    You don't have to learn to spell a new last name.

    You can leave the motel bed unmade.

    You can kill your own food.

    You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

    Wedding plans take care of themselves.

    If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.

    Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack.

    If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.

    Everything on your face stays its original color.

    You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.

    Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

    You don't have to clean your apartment if the meter reader is coming.

    Car mechanics tell you the truth.

    You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking "He must be mad at me."

    Same work, more pay.

    Gray hair and wrinkles only add character.

    Wedding dress: $2,000. Tuxedo rental: $75.

    You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.

    If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.

    Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with "So, notice anything different?"

    You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.

    You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

    You almost never have strap problems in public.

    You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

    The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

    You don't have to shave below your neck.

    At least a few belches are expected and tolerated.

    Your belly usually hides your big hips.

    One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.

    You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.

    You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.

    Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in 45 minutes.



  • #2
    Hahaha



    Tuxedo rentals are over $100 now, last year I paid $125 for my prom tuxedo.
    XBL: The1Executioner

    Comment


    • #3
      I love them all...especially teh last one...

      Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in 45 minutes.

      Comment


      • #4
        Yeah that one was funny... LOL got a laugh from me...

        Comment


        • #5
          nice stuff


          I still miss the blue background.

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by BaileyTheBest
            Why it is great to be a man!
            Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
            who has that much to say??


            A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
            halfway full. . . .


            Dry cleaners and hair cutters don't rob you blind.
            haven't paid for a haircut in a looong time-- is that bad?


            You don't have to learn to spell a new last name.
            thank god! the one i was born with is tough enough. . . you should see what my mail comes addressed to. . . .


            You can leave the motel bed unmade.
            doesn't everybody?




            Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
            crap, i think i might have four. . . . .


            You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking "He must be mad at me."
            unless we're "discussing" a call, they'd BETTER keep quiet!


            You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.
            depends on whether you're going to see a chick or not. . . .





            If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.
            uhhh, what the hell is an "outfit??"



            You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.
            whoops! i know at least six or seven. . . .



            The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
            probably about nine years and going strong, lol!


            You don't have to shave below your neck.
            wish i didn't have to shave above it, either. . . .


            One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
            gotta have at least boots and tenis shoes, but my wallet is pushing a decade. . . .


            You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.
            yea, if you work in "adult entertainment" . . . .


            Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in 45 minutes.
            seriously, who the hell shops for that many people??
            Officially Objectified by the GPA

            rest in peace, darrent williams and damien nash-- you will be missed!!

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by BaileyTheBest
              Why it is great to be a man!

              Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

              A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

              You can open all your own jars.

              Dry cleaners and hair cutters don't rob you blind.

              You can go to the bathroom without a support group.

              You don't have to learn to spell a new last name.

              You can leave the motel bed unmade.

              You can kill your own food.

              You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

              Wedding plans take care of themselves.

              If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.

              Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack.

              If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.

              Everything on your face stays its original color.

              You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.

              Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

              You don't have to clean your apartment if the meter reader is coming.

              Car mechanics tell you the truth.

              You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking "He must be mad at me."

              Same work, more pay.

              Gray hair and wrinkles only add character.

              Wedding dress: $2,000. Tuxedo rental: $75.

              You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.

              If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.

              Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with "So, notice anything different?"

              You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.

              You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

              You almost never have strap problems in public.

              You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

              The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

              You don't have to shave below your neck.

              At least a few belches are expected and tolerated.

              Your belly usually hides your big hips.

              One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.

              You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.

              You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.

              Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in 45 minutes.
              After reading this, I had a funny thought....
              You had to work really hard to find the pros to being a man.
              j/k....I think men are driven by just a couple of things, basically....
              1. Work (to feel useful and have direction)
              2. Let's get this over quickly (and that includes a multiple of things)
              3. Care for a beer?
              "War is an ugly thing, but not the ugliest of things. The decayed and degraded state of moral and patriotic feeling which thinks that nothing is worth war is much worse. The person who has nothing for which he is willing to fight, nothing which is more important than his own personal safety, is a miserable creature and has no chance of being free unless made and kept so by the exertions of better men than himself.

              John Stuart Mill (Look him up )

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by His Wife
                After reading this, I had a funny thought....
                You had to work really hard to find the pros to being a man.
                j/k....I think men are driven by just a couple of things, basically....
                1. Work (to feel useful and have direction)
                2. Let's get this over quickly (and that includes a multiple of things)
                3. Care for a beer?
                You forgot the sport, Twin

                Must have sport (preferably with a beer )
                The Whiskyteers ~ One for all, and all for MORE!!!!

                Broncomania Best Foreign Poster
                BFC.........D Will #27.............D Nash #29
                You'll Never Walk Alone




                Spiffing sig, MasterShake :cheers:

                You know, in certain older civilized cultures, when men failed as entirely as you have, they would throw themselves on their swords ~ The Operative, Serenity

                Maybe Slowick should pay attention

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by BaileyTheBest

                  Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in 45 minutes.

                  I think a lot of guys have this mindset. I've gone shopping on the 24th twice and both times the malls and stores were all men. Maybe a female sighting here and there, but the place was just full of sausage (if you catch my frisbee).


                  "When Kepler found his long-cherished belief did not agree with the most precise observation, he accepted the uncomfortable fact. He preferred the hard truth to his dearest illusions; that is the heart of science."
                  - Carl Sagan

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by NameUsedBefore
                    I think a lot of guys have this mindset. I've gone shopping on the 24th twice and both times the malls and stores were all men. Maybe a female sighting here and there, but the place was just full of sausage (if you catch my frisbee).
                    yeah, i catch your frisbee!


                    Comment

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