Help appreciated...

[bengaaaaals1688]

I have way too much trouble getting girls to like me, and I don't know what else to do. Everyone I know tells me that I shouldn't be so down about it, but when it is as hard as it is for me, I can't help myself. What should I do?? And girls, what is the best thing a guy can do in order to get your attention and then take it past just getting your attention?? What can I do in order to get a girl to want to be with me like I want to be with, well almost anyone?? I figure the best answers will come from here because you all seem to be knowledgable, and you are all so kind.

Thanks in advance.

[DenveRelentless]

First off, you need confidence in yourself. You don't have to be the smartest, or the funniest, or the richest or even the best looking. Just be confident in yourself, and then demonstrate that you posses that confidence. You can help by having good posture, looking into people's faces when you talk to them, and don't stammer out things like um and ah.

Other then that, be yourself. Eventually we all find someone (I am living proof of this, because if my wife agreed to marry me, there is hope for everyone), but if you act like someone else around a girl you like, then things won't work out because you will be lying to her about who you are.

As for attention getters, think outside the norm. I have no idea how old you are, but when I was a teenager, I used to try creative ways to ask girls out. Like once I had the friend of this girl I liked deliver her a ticket to the movies, as well as instructions for where to go for diner beforehand. She was totally suprised that I was the guy who showed up, but we ended up having a lot of fun.

[buckland]

I have way too much trouble getting girls to like me, and I don't know what else to do. Everyone I know tells me that I shouldn't be so down about it, but when it is as hard as it is for me, I can't help myself. What should I do?? And girls, what is the best thing a guy can do in order to get your attention and then take it past just getting your attention?? What can I do in order to get a girl to want to be with me like I want to be with, well almost anyone?? I figure the best answers will come from here because you all seem to be knowledgable, and you are all so kind.

Thanks in advance.

If this is a serious question, you have to be cool, be interesting, and refrain from acting too eager, for starters. Guess we’d need some examples of your experiences (ill fated or otherwise) with the opposite sex in order to elaborate further?

[sneakers]

Like in jobs, it is all about networking. The more people you introduce yourself to, the more people you know, and you will get to know people they know, and so on. It isn't about finding your soulmate, it is all about "bumping" into more and more people. Sooner or later statistically, you will get along very well with one.

[underrated29]

okay tell me how old you are, where you live (im guesssing ohio), and why it just never seems to work out.

after that we'll pimp you out

[dogfish]

first off, forget "strategies" and doing stuff to get attention-- you don't want to come off as being desperate! you don't need to be anyone or anything but yourself-- may sound cheesy but it's completely true. . . no one likes a phony, so don't try to act like someone you're not. . . if you want to meet someone you have some things in common with (highly recommended), just rock your own unique style and don't worry about it. . . like DR said, just be confident in yourself. . . easier said than done, i know-- but just chill and act around girls the same way you act around your friends (ok, so don't be TOO crude, but you know what i mean ). . . you've obviously got a sense of humor, and certain girls will appreciate that-- IF you don't hide it. . .

regular bathing and clean clothes are also recommended (though not always necessary-- some scrubs get girls too ). . . don't be afraid to talk to girls-- maybe some of them like you now and you don't even realize it. . . most guys can't read women worth a damn! and don't worry, it's gets easier as you get older and more experienced. . .


oh, and it also helps if you're filthy rich and look like james bond. . . .


just the way it is. . . but don't sweat it, you don't need a bond girl to be happy (although it would certainly be nice ). . .


good luck!


EDIT: and don't forget, girls are individuals too-- different girls are going to want/be attracted to different things. . .

[champbronc2]

First off, you need confidence in yourself. You don't have to be the smartest, or the funniest, or the richest or even the best looking. Just be confident in yourself, and then demonstrate that you posses that confidence. You can help by having good posture, looking into people's faces when you talk to them, and don't stammer out things like um and ah.

Other then that, be yourself. Eventually we all find someone (I am living proof of this, because if my wife agreed to marry me, there is hope for everyone), but if you act like someone else around a girl you like, then things won't work out because you will be lying to her about who you are.

As for attention getters, think outside the norm. I have no idea how old you are, but when I was a teenager, I used to try creative ways to ask girls out. Like once I had the friend of this girl I liked deliver her a ticket to the movies, as well as instructions for where to go for diner beforehand. She was totally suprised that I was the guy who showed up, but we ended up having a lot of fun.

You have 100% correct.

This is the best answer.

[His Wife]

First off, you need confidence in yourself. You don't have to be the smartest, or the funniest, or the richest or even the best looking. Just be confident in yourself, and then demonstrate that you posses that confidence. You can help by having good posture, looking into people's faces when you talk to them, and don't stammer out things like um and ah.

Other then that, be yourself. Eventually we all find someone (I am living proof of this, because if my wife agreed to marry me, there is hope for everyone), but if you act like someone else around a girl you like, then things won't work out because you will be lying to her about who you are.

As for attention getters, think outside the norm. I have no idea how old you are, but when I was a teenager, I used to try creative ways to ask girls out. Like once I had the friend of this girl I liked deliver her a ticket to the movies, as well as instructions for where to go for diner beforehand. She was totally suprised that I was the guy who showed up, but we ended up having a lot of fun.

DR has excellent advice here, but I would like to add please....
When in conversation, be yourself....flaws and all. Be thoughtful of her, and don't be a conversation hog (the stereotype of women doing all the talking is not true for many women). Listen and comment on each thing she says, verifying you were listening. Also....look for the same for yourself, and the girl is paying attention to you. You also don't want to carry a conversation with a brick wall. Don't make the whole conversation about what type of vegetables you both like either.

[Fred the Bunny]

Instead of trying to get girls to like you, why not just be yourself, make friends who share similar interests as you and go from there?

This kind of thing should come naturally if you just relax and don't think so much about it. Girls are people too, not aliens.

Another thing, be sure that you aren't missing any signals. Maybe you don't see that there might be a girl or two out there who already like you and you have no idea. Depending on what age you are, the signals they send out vary.

Some girls are super shy (not me) and won't make eye comtact at all.
Then again, other girls out there (that would be me) are more direct and will make the first move. Then you have the ones that are crazy....in a bad way....and you won't know she's nuts until you've been with her for a minute.

As long as you are clean, dress somewhat nice and don't act like a retard, you should do fine.

Take your time! You have your whole life to find somebody that will make you miserable forever just for a little piece of action every other month or so.

[DevilSpawn]

Three simple steps.

1. Make

2. Them

3. Laugh

[Freestyle]

DR has excellent advice here, but I would like to add please....
When in conversation, be yourself....flaws and all. Be thoughtful of her, and don't be a conversation hog (the stereotype of women doing all the talking is not true for many women). Listen and comment on each thing she says, verifying you were listening. Also....look for the same for yourself, and the girl is paying attention to you. You also don't want to carry a conversation with a brick wall. Don't make the whole conversation about what type of vegetables you both like either.

mmmm..... vegetable soup.

[Freestyle]

EDIT: and don't forget, girls are individuals too-- different girls are going to want/be attracted to different things. . .

dog has it right here. They like you or they don't. How you "act" usually does little to sway them. "Be yourself" is a pretty worn out cliche', but it's also a very good rule. Just let the conversation flow normally and don't sweat it.

[WhoDeyBengals]

Instead of trying to get girls to like you, why not just be yourself, make friends who share similar interests as you and go from there?

This kind of thing should come naturally if you just relax and don't think so much about it. Girls are people too, not aliens.

Another thing, be sure that you aren't missing any signals. Maybe you don't see that there might be a girl or two out there who already like you and you have no idea. Depending on what age you are, the signals they send out vary.

Some girls are super shy (not me) and won't make eye comtact at all.
Then again, other girls out there (that would be me) are more direct and will make the first move. Then you have the ones that are crazy....in a bad way....and you won't know she's nuts until you've been with her for a minute.

As long as you are clean, dress somewhat nice and don't act like a retard, you should do fine.

Take your time! You have your whole life to find somebody that will make you miserable forever just for a little piece of action every other month or so.

I take issue with the bolded text. Aren't you all from Venus or something?

But there's a lot of good advice in this thread, and in this post. Here's my contribution:

1. Be yourself. Don't front. Don't pretend to be something you're not - if you do and it lands you a girl, you won't be together for long anyway, once the girl realizes she's been fooled.
2. Care. Take interest in her. Talk about her. Her. Her. Her.
3. Your eyes can say what words cannot. Don't leer, but don't avoid eye contact. There's a lot of things said without a single word spoken. Smile, but don't be cheesy.
4. Don't miss your opportunity. If you strike up a conversation with a girl that you like, strike while the iron's hot. If you get her number, be sure to call her. If you get a date, make it fun. And be creative - the ol' dinner and a movie date is played out, and there's not a lot of conversation inside a movie theatre.
5. Let it move at its own pace. Physicality happens naturally. Don't force it.

Hope that helps.

[TR3Y]

1. Be a great listener.

2. Have a good sense of humor.

3. Find someone with common interests.

4. Don't "search" for the perfect someone. They/you will find them in due time.

5. Confidence is key, even a little cockiness (to some extent) is attractive to a lot of women.

6. Find a friend or 3 that have lots of women friends. The more you are around women, the likelyhood of finding "the one" goes up.

7. Be yourself.

8. Dress to impress.

9. Be unique.

10. Have a good sense of humor. (I know this is a repeat, but it totally helps)

[Fred the Bunny]

Of course....

It never hurts to be fully loaded too........