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  • I need to say things but have no one to talk to (except God)

    So, yesterday I tested positive for Covid-19. I’m a little stressed.

    My first wife passed away three years ago from metastatic breast cancer, leaving me with four kids to raise. Since that time, I met another wonderful woman, with a daughter of her own, and we have since been married and just this past week our son was born. We now have 6 kids, oldest being 11. When she went to have the baby, she discovered she had Covid-19, despite not having any symptoms. I tested negative and the baby did too. However, yesterday, she had an appointment so I thought I would test to make sure before I returned to school to teach. Then I tested positive.

    I didn’t have any symptoms, but since testing positive, I have had a few. I just don’t know how much of it is brought on because I know I’m positive or if they’re actual symptoms.

    My biggest fear is if something happens to me, how many people I’ll be letting down. My original 4 kids have already lost their mother. If they were to lose me too, what are their chances of turning out okay?

    I can’t speak to my mother because she has health issues and I’m afraid if I share with her how scared I am, it may push her over the edge. My wife is blaming herself, so I’m trying not to talk to her about it, because it’ll just make things worse for her.

    I take care of my father-in-law from my first marriage; I’m the only one who can. If something happens to me, he will end up in a nursing home, which was something my first wife asked me not to allow to happen.

    As a teacher and a coach, I am doing all that I can to change the culture of Alma mater. These kids really depend on me to help them, and our new Superintendent has proven to be a great hire and he really appreciates all that I’m doing.

    I am four classes from graduating with my Master’s Degree in School Administration, but I’m struggling to find time to complete my assignments. I actually felt I could get all caught up for this semester while home with wife and the baby, but now I’m having a hard time concentrating.

    My heart races at times, I’ve had a fever and chills, and my breath is becoming more labored. Nothing real bad now, but I am most definitely coughing more today than before. So now I fear that this could get bad, and if I’m not going to make it, I don’t want to spend my last days doing homework.

    I don’t want to spend it cooped up in a house either.

    I'm hoping I’m just overreacting. My health isn’t the greatest. I’m a large man with high blood sugar, most likely pre-diabetic, if not already diabetic.

    I just needed a place to vent. Without fear that someone else was going to overreact in case I am. Pray for me, if you would.
    Personal goals: GOAL WEIGHT = 250lbs
    Weight loss needed for FGW = 120 lbs
    Weight lost so far: - 24 lbs

  • #2
    Hey pal. I totally understand your concerns and yes, fears. You have a lot of responsibility, and you are very much valued by so many, who count on you. And this virus is no doubt worrisome, given all we have heard.

    But I ask you to step back, and try to be cool.

    You should try to separate each item that stresses you, and handle them each in their own way. First you must take care of your health, and deal with the virus. Try to take comfort in knowing that the vast majority of folks who get it, get rid of it. Just read up a little, and follow the instructions of those who have expertise, unless of course you talk to your own doctor. There are various wise instructions about what helps, at least some form of "do's" vs "don'ts", etc.....to fight this thing off. I am no expert, but I believe there are smart ways to improve your recovery from the illness. Maybe just little things.

    In that regard, make sure you do what you can to not spread it, and I am sure you are all over this. But until you are ok to meet others, hopefully you can phone/text them, or have others look out for all those that tend to lean on you....like your kids, mother, father in law, students and of course, your wife. And do not blame yourself for having the virus. Just do what you can to minimize the spread. By doing these things you can stop worrying about what you did or didn't do, rather channel your energy into getting better while looking out for those you care and give care for. Folks might surprise you by their support for you, and effort to make the load lighter.

    And you must know, although you will monitor your condition responsibly, that anxiety can exaggerate one's grasp of a situation. You may think you are worse than you really are. Just try to relax, stay calm, and trust your gut on all of this. If you feel the need, and if your doctor is open to calls, do it. But I for one suck when it comes to making myself feel worse. Our brains are hard wired to focus on matters, and sometimes we make mountains over molehills by dwelling on situations that are not worthy of that much concentration. My over used example...I am sure that if I focus on my little toe enough, it will start hurting! Sorry, not trying to be funny, but I think you get my drift. We sometimes intensify to the point of over sensitivity. Yes, this is important, but you deserve to minimize unnecessary stressors.

    And yes, worst case scenario, you go to the hospital. I always keep that one stored in the back of my mind, as in, if I have an issue that needs to be attended to I leave that door wide open. Therefore it's always available, but seldom used. Some folks make that option a hard one, by trying to look the other way. I try to make that an option that I just don't think about. As an example, however, having an intense kidney stone makes it a pretty easy decision. But I think you are going to be just fine.

    This is a lot at the same time, but you are clearly capable of handling a load of responsibility. Time for you to see that those who depend on you are in good hands for a little while, while you take care of yourself. Again, you deserve it. Once you do what you must to get things in some sort of stable situation with all those folks, you can devote most of your time taking a needed rest, and a needed break from your worries about being responsible. Don't be hard on yourself.

    We'll be thinking of you.

    (feel free to pm me)
    Last edited by CanDB; 11-20-2020, 10:38 AM.

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by diesel51 View Post
      So, yesterday I tested positive for Covid-19. I’m a little stressed.

      My first wife passed away three years ago from metastatic breast cancer, leaving me with four kids to raise. Since that time, I met another wonderful woman, with a daughter of her own, and we have since been married and just this past week our son was born. We now have 6 kids, oldest being 11. When she went to have the baby, she discovered she had Covid-19, despite not having any symptoms. I tested negative and the baby did too. However, yesterday, she had an appointment so I thought I would test to make sure before I returned to school to teach. Then I tested positive.

      I didn’t have any symptoms, but since testing positive, I have had a few. I just don’t know how much of it is brought on because I know I’m positive or if they’re actual symptoms.

      My biggest fear is if something happens to me, how many people I’ll be letting down. My original 4 kids have already lost their mother. If they were to lose me too, what are their chances of turning out okay?

      I can’t speak to my mother because she has health issues and I’m afraid if I share with her how scared I am, it may push her over the edge. My wife is blaming herself, so I’m trying not to talk to her about it, because it’ll just make things worse for her.

      I take care of my father-in-law from my first marriage; I’m the only one who can. If something happens to me, he will end up in a nursing home, which was something my first wife asked me not to allow to happen.

      As a teacher and a coach, I am doing all that I can to change the culture of Alma mater. These kids really depend on me to help them, and our new Superintendent has proven to be a great hire and he really appreciates all that I’m doing.

      I am four classes from graduating with my Master’s Degree in School Administration, but I’m struggling to find time to complete my assignments. I actually felt I could get all caught up for this semester while home with wife and the baby, but now I’m having a hard time concentrating.

      My heart races at times, I’ve had a fever and chills, and my breath is becoming more labored. Nothing real bad now, but I am most definitely coughing more today than before. So now I fear that this could get bad, and if I’m not going to make it, I don’t want to spend my last days doing homework.

      I don’t want to spend it cooped up in a house either.

      I'm hoping I’m just overreacting. My health isn’t the greatest. I’m a large man with high blood sugar, most likely pre-diabetic, if not already diabetic.

      I just needed a place to vent. Without fear that someone else was going to overreact in case I am. Pray for me, if you would.
      Never knew that about your first wife, I don't think. My condolences on that. You're an amazing person being able to raise 4 kids after losing your wife, pursuing a Master's Degree, teaching, and coaching. It's borderline miraculous, IMO. It also sounds stressful, though. The last thing you need right now is stress. I think you need rest, and you need to focus that energy you use to do all of those things on taking care of yourself right now.

      I have an auto-immune disease, but I don't take a biologic. I treat it holistically, so I don't worry as much about how my immune system will react to catching it. I have heard that immune suppressors prevent the virus from doing severe damage to your lungs, but I don't know. I run a business and raise two kids of my own, so worry does occasionally creep in on me as well. When I started getting really sick, nobody knew what was wrong with me. They checked me for cancer, and all kinds of other stuff. I honestly thought I was either dying, or going to be debilitated for the rest of my life. After they diagnosed me, I was able to finally start figuring out how to treat myself and my health gradually improved. Here's the thing though. The psychological effect of knowing what to do is had a significant effect on me. Piece of mind. Share the burden like you did with this post. I would make some calls to some medical professionals, do some research, and get some piece of mind. The not knowing is part of what keeps you down. Anyways. I can't speak for Covid, but I can help share the burden with you, and give you some insight on what I'd do if I tested positive. Hopefully some of the posters who have experience with Covid will share their thoughts as well. And if I ever need life advice, you'll be at the top of the list.

      Comment


      • #4
        Sorry to hear diesel. Be good, be safe, and hopefully with time your symptoms will start to resolve. Sounds like you have a lot on your plate regardless of being COVID +.

        A relatively recent death of your first wife, multiple busy children, a new marriage, and a new baby - on top of school work.

        Take care of yourself dude.

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by diesel51 View Post
          So, yesterday I tested positive for Covid-19. I’m a little stressed.

          My first wife passed away three years ago from metastatic breast cancer, leaving me with four kids to raise. Since that time, I met another wonderful woman, with a daughter of her own, and we have since been married and just this past week our son was born. We now have 6 kids, oldest being 11. When she went to have the baby, she discovered she had Covid-19, despite not having any symptoms. I tested negative and the baby did too. However, yesterday, she had an appointment so I thought I would test to make sure before I returned to school to teach. Then I tested positive.

          I didn’t have any symptoms, but since testing positive, I have had a few. I just don’t know how much of it is brought on because I know I’m positive or if they’re actual symptoms.

          My biggest fear is if something happens to me, how many people I’ll be letting down. My original 4 kids have already lost their mother. If they were to lose me too, what are their chances of turning out okay?

          I can’t speak to my mother because she has health issues and I’m afraid if I share with her how scared I am, it may push her over the edge. My wife is blaming herself, so I’m trying not to talk to her about it, because it’ll just make things worse for her.

          I take care of my father-in-law from my first marriage; I’m the only one who can. If something happens to me, he will end up in a nursing home, which was something my first wife asked me not to allow to happen.

          As a teacher and a coach, I am doing all that I can to change the culture of Alma mater. These kids really depend on me to help them, and our new Superintendent has proven to be a great hire and he really appreciates all that I’m doing.

          I am four classes from graduating with my Master’s Degree in School Administration, but I’m struggling to find time to complete my assignments. I actually felt I could get all caught up for this semester while home with wife and the baby, but now I’m having a hard time concentrating.

          My heart races at times, I’ve had a fever and chills, and my breath is becoming more labored. Nothing real bad now, but I am most definitely coughing more today than before. So now I fear that this could get bad, and if I’m not going to make it, I don’t want to spend my last days doing homework.

          I don’t want to spend it cooped up in a house either.

          I'm hoping I’m just overreacting. My health isn’t the greatest. I’m a large man with high blood sugar, most likely pre-diabetic, if not already diabetic.

          I just needed a place to vent. Without fear that someone else was going to overreact in case I am. Pray for me, if you would.
          Wow! Where do you have an ounce of time for yourself. Seems like you have so many people to care for that you can't breathe from the stress. I don't think I would be able to anyways.

          Saying a prayer for you and your family. I can understand how it would be overwhelming, but hope it passes in a reasonable time and that you and your family are not impacted further by it.
          sigpic
          Adopted Bronco - 2017/18 - Chris Harris Jr. # 25 :nono: to every player he covers
          Adopted Bronco - 2018/19 - Derek Wolfe
          Adopted Bronco - 2019/20 - Shelby Harris
          Adopted Bronco - 2020/21 - Courtland Sutton

          Comment


          • #6
            Hang in there, friend, you're going to be okay. Keep the faith.

            Sending healing thoughts and prayers your way.

            May God bless and protect you and your family and may you have swift and full recovery. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

            Superbowl 50 MVP Von Miller on February 7th, 2016

            Comment


            • #7
              Praying for you, diesel.
              Administrator
              sigpic

              #LupusAwareness

              #TackleCancer - Adopted Bronco: Phillip Lindsay

              "a semicolon is used when an author could've chosen to end their sentence, but chose not to. The author is you and the sentence is your life ; "

              Comment


              • #8
                Stay positive, friend! Focus on what you can do rather than let fear grip you with what is beyond your control.

                Praying for you!
                Last edited by Rastic; 11-22-2020, 12:38 PM.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Rastic View Post
                  Stay positive, friend! Focus on what you can do rather than let fear grip you with what is beyond of your control.

                  Praying for you!
                  Great advice, keep us updated and take care.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Thanks everyone! Today I feel better than I have in about a week. Broncos winning yesterday made me happy too! But, physically speaking, had a rough night last night; body hurting and not resting, but waking up today feeling well enough to work on college work. Brain seems to be functioning better. Didn’t want my Bronco Country friends worrying about me so I thought I would update y’all. Have a good Thanksgiving everyone! Thanks for the prayers and advice!
                    Personal goals: GOAL WEIGHT = 250lbs
                    Weight loss needed for FGW = 120 lbs
                    Weight lost so far: - 24 lbs

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Rastic View Post
                      Stay positive, friend! Focus on what you can do rather than let fear grip you with what is beyond your control.

                      Praying for you!
                      I did not know this a year ago but stay positive (more directly not being stressed out) actually helps our immune system.

                      Very good advice
                      Time to build on the win and grow the team from some solid play higher level of play

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by diesel51 View Post
                        Thanks everyone! Today I feel better than I have in about a week. Broncos winning yesterday made me happy too! But, physically speaking, had a rough night last night; body hurting and not resting, but waking up today feeling well enough to work on college work. Brain seems to be functioning better. Didn’t want my Bronco Country friends worrying about me so I thought I would update y’all. Have a good Thanksgiving everyone! Thanks for the prayers and advice!
                        Glad you are doing better!

                        My 2 cents is make sure you getting enough Vit D. Have a good Thanksgiving
                        Time to build on the win and grow the team from some solid play higher level of play

                        Comment

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