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I know I know, here he goes again with another thread talking about whatever. I dunno, I just felt like typing this out and seeing it all down and all. Noone has to worry or anything I am not feeling as down about stuff as I was, just kind of weird.
I feel happy, the last few days I think God has really gotten my attention with stuff, but the strange thing is what some of the stuff he has gotten my attention with.
On thursday night I had told my ex that I wouldn't be talking to her about how I feel, and well that was that, till Friday. She had accused me of saying stuff bout her, which I hadn't and then we had kinda talked/written each other in History, and I thought well that was that.
But again, it wasn't. I had planned on going to the city ("city") Friday night, and I had to wait for my friend till 5, so while I sat there waiting I was on the computer. I had an email from my ex, she was tlakin bout somethin random, then went on to mention that she kinda felt sad cuz she loved tlakin to me. Which made me feel at that moment "O man... here I go" cuz I knew I had to write back. We sent back an forth for awhile, till Saturday when she got home from skiin she finally talked to me on msn. I was guarding myself, I didn't want to get hurt, and I was bein a jerk, blaming her for everything I had felt, whcih wasn't entirely the case as my mom had stuff to do with it to.
Well I had an hour till my Youth Group and I suddenly felt like I should go talk to her in person, now... this wasn't me, I didn't want to cuz I dint feel anything good would come from it, and I really didn't wanna get hurt. I was actually scared to. But I couldn't shake the feeling, and strangely enough she WANTED me to come talk to her (first time in the week
)
So I did, and I was right, nothin really changed... cept one thing... me...
I was sitting there talkin to her, and you can believe me or not, but suddenly I felt this overwhelmin feeling. I didn't want to feel that way and I swear I didn't the two days leadin up to it, I had just accepted we were done. But suddenly I felt this on my heart, and she made me tell her. I told her that I didn't feel I would ever get over her, which had jus occured to me. She said she knew that (which makes me wanna ask bout that btw ) and then I told her it felt like God was tellin me that we would be together again, down the road. And I told her that the weird thing is that if an when we were, we wouldnt be the same two people that had been together before, cuz in that week alone I felt (and feel) like a completely different person. I don't know how she actually took me sayin that, she jus kinda joked that I was a prophet. But I can't shake this feeling. I aint saying I want that, to me I'd rather not know that cuz I know that she will prolly be wit other people between that, but I jus, I can't lie about how it feels.
Sorry for soundin stupid, and you guys will prolly tell me I am bein stupid... but I jus wanted to spill that.
Also: Thanks for all the prayers again
I feel happy, the last few days I think God has really gotten my attention with stuff, but the strange thing is what some of the stuff he has gotten my attention with.
On thursday night I had told my ex that I wouldn't be talking to her about how I feel, and well that was that, till Friday. She had accused me of saying stuff bout her, which I hadn't and then we had kinda talked/written each other in History, and I thought well that was that.
But again, it wasn't. I had planned on going to the city ("city") Friday night, and I had to wait for my friend till 5, so while I sat there waiting I was on the computer. I had an email from my ex, she was tlakin bout somethin random, then went on to mention that she kinda felt sad cuz she loved tlakin to me. Which made me feel at that moment "O man... here I go" cuz I knew I had to write back. We sent back an forth for awhile, till Saturday when she got home from skiin she finally talked to me on msn. I was guarding myself, I didn't want to get hurt, and I was bein a jerk, blaming her for everything I had felt, whcih wasn't entirely the case as my mom had stuff to do with it to.
Well I had an hour till my Youth Group and I suddenly felt like I should go talk to her in person, now... this wasn't me, I didn't want to cuz I dint feel anything good would come from it, and I really didn't wanna get hurt. I was actually scared to. But I couldn't shake the feeling, and strangely enough she WANTED me to come talk to her (first time in the week
)So I did, and I was right, nothin really changed... cept one thing... me...
I was sitting there talkin to her, and you can believe me or not, but suddenly I felt this overwhelmin feeling. I didn't want to feel that way and I swear I didn't the two days leadin up to it, I had just accepted we were done. But suddenly I felt this on my heart, and she made me tell her. I told her that I didn't feel I would ever get over her, which had jus occured to me. She said she knew that (which makes me wanna ask bout that btw ) and then I told her it felt like God was tellin me that we would be together again, down the road. And I told her that the weird thing is that if an when we were, we wouldnt be the same two people that had been together before, cuz in that week alone I felt (and feel) like a completely different person. I don't know how she actually took me sayin that, she jus kinda joked that I was a prophet. But I can't shake this feeling. I aint saying I want that, to me I'd rather not know that cuz I know that she will prolly be wit other people between that, but I jus, I can't lie about how it feels.
Sorry for soundin stupid, and you guys will prolly tell me I am bein stupid... but I jus wanted to spill that.
Also: Thanks for all the prayers again
'
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