Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Better Dialogue If We Consider Content Over Who Posted

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Better Dialogue If We Consider Content Over Who Posted

    It is very normal for members to not respond to folks they have an issue with, even if they agree on certain topics. I still don't get that, even though I understand how some of us aren't meant to be besties, so to speak. But at times it is almost humorous how someone will skip good posts because of who posted, and yes, as sometimes obviously proven, will clearly agree by their own, but separate posts on the subject.

    I don't necessarily make it a goal to quote someone I do not get along with when we are on the same page, or approve of it (ie. like), but I will do it occasionally. But it is clear that some folks are more committed to staying their distance, or only responding in disagreement or when critiquing. I appreciate it's open dialogue here, but I know we'd be better off to show signs of collaboration rather continued distance.....especially when it's basically hand delivered to your doorstep.




  • #2
    I want to add, sometimes I think there is a general loss of attention when reading others' posts. Even my best friend group has a habit of posting first but listening second, if at all. Occasionally one person will post something, and not too long after, another will basically say the same thing, without acknowledgement. Even happens when we meet. Are we reading/listening less? Maybe. Maybe it's about short attention spans. Maybe we think we are smart, but smart should be described as one who takes in info and determines if it is relevant and perhaps, valuable.
    Last edited by CanDB; 01-28-2021, 01:09 PM.

    Comment


    • #3
      Is that what it is? I assumed people skip over my posts because I tend to ramble lol

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by beastlyskronk View Post
        Is that what it is? I assumed people skip over my posts because I tend to ramble lol


        Just kidding pal.....

        Comment


        • #5
          Heh sometimes I have to remind myself what I’m even arguing. I’ve even convinced myself that the other argument was better on occasion lol

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by beastlyskronk View Post
            Heh sometimes I have to remind myself what I’m even arguing. I’ve even convinced myself that the other argument was better on occasion lol
            Between my rants here and with my friends, I sometimes forget what my point is....maybe it's just to rant!!! You will see when you get to be an old fart, like moi, possibly you and some of your pals will become bigger ranters than they are now. Some of us become more know it all, seen it all, as well as skeptical and cynical. Not a good combo!! One of my pals rants more than I do, and though I do not follow Facebook much, my wife mentions when my pal goes off the rails a bit. So funny, one of his other friends on Facebook recently told him to have a Snickers. Loved it!!





            Comment


            • #7
              In general I think there would be better "dialog" if people focused on what was actually posted.

              Ignore who posted, ignore what else is going on in our heads while we post a reply, try to identify personal triggers and be aware of them when posting an opinion.

              The entire word is struggling with this (well some people are aware of the struggle) as we communicate more with others as the population grows and the means with which we communicate become easier to access while allowing quicker responses.
              Let's Ride!

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by Hadez View Post
                In general I think there would be better "dialog" if people focused on what was actually posted.

                Ignore who posted, ignore what else is going on in our heads while we post a reply, try to identify personal triggers and be aware of them when posting an opinion.

                The entire word is struggling with this (well some people are aware of the struggle) as we communicate more with others as the population grows and the means with which we communicate become easier to access while allowing quicker responses.
                Yeah....I believe that when some of us see a name, such as CanDB, they automatically go into "don't like it" mode. I know, not just me. Sure, we have differences. I think the political ones are near the top of the strain these days. But regardless, if I am not keen on you, again just an example, but if you make a fabulous post, I should read and possibly even give you kudos. If I look back and see that you have made other good posts, and you show some effort to interact positively, it's a good start.

                The thing that got me most ticked off with here, not so much lately, is when folks who never have decent dialogue only seem to exchange comments when you say something that they want to be negative about.

                For me a good MB is one where you try to have plenty of good discussions, and even if you don't agree, at least show a wee bit of class when you respond. Never was big and never will be big on folks starting a response with: "that's stupid", or "NO!" But it's subtle things that can make such a difference. Maybe I come from a different generation or different place, but what I like better is when folks disagree but in their intro say something like, "you make an interesting point" or "I do not agree but..."

                Bottom line, agree or not, I would hope that the majority of members would occasionally show some positivity towards someone they typically do not get along with. Or maybe at least try to refrain from challenging someone over and over, as opposed to offering some sign of peace. There's always going to be a small group that does not play it like that, but the majority of us can give it a try, if we aren't already.
                Last edited by CanDB; 01-31-2021, 11:19 AM.

                Comment


                • #9
                  I've thought about this a lot....

                  First, I am older than most here, and have solidly established "friend" relationships from as far back as almost 60 years ago. A friend who passed a while back was a good friend for over 60 years. I knew/know these folks very well, including the good and not so good, but with one key element...it is highly unlikely we will stop being friends, no matter our differences. We have passed all the key checkpoints. Even challenged them.

                  As a career, sports, other venture person, I was very sociable. I like meeting people, here and everywhere around the globe. At one point when I was in the middle of everything, I feel like I knew a 1,000 folks or more to a reasonable degree. BUT as I get to my later chapters in life, I realize that I have less time for borderline associations, and want more time with the folks I care most about. I am less sensitive about popularity than I once was, and much more sensitive to real, valued relationships. I want transparency and honesty to some degree.

                  Having said that, I still believe that the next person we meet, even online, could end up to be a long term acquaintance. Even here, for me, and even with someone I have argued with. So I keep an open mind.

                  I can give a lot of examples, but bumping heads does not mean an abrupt end to possibilities. And though I think he feels the same, Peerless is a good young man that I had a difference of opinion with soon after I joined up, but almost instantly became a pal with. I look forward to hearing from him...and sure, we probably do not agree on everything.

                  Another example, and I won't mention who in case they prefer me not to, is a person that often saw things different with. I was not sure he was meant to be a pal. One day I got into a little tangle with a number of members, and was a bit on the defense. Then I got a pm from him, expecting a lecture as well. Instead he extended a friendly note that made me feel much better. He did not have to, and it was unexpected. Since then, no matter what comes, I feel like he's a decent dude. You see, that one act of kindness meant a lot given the situation. He did not pile on, rather took a leap to pm me with good intention.

                  So, even though I do not expect to gain real life friends here, you never know. The difficulty of course is the nature of online interactions, especially when highly anonymous. Very hard to validate intentions and backgrounds like we normally do in life.

                  All in all....I am open here to good relations. I am also in no rush to solidify, if I don't feel it's a two way thing. Truth is anyone could be a pal of mine if they want to give it a chance. However, we must all feel like we are being honestly treated in the process. One significant slip and we can destroy a lot of good will along the way. And for me, once I read into a situation, say some "gamesmanship", or hollow words, I realize I am better off moving on....and spending more time and energy with the long standing good friends and family I have. And to be totally honest, if someone has a different stance on certain key topics, I doubt I could ever call them a friend. I am being straight up on that. I won't go into specifics, but you'd know if we crossed that path.

                  Don't get me wrong...I always look forward to talking sports with almost anyone!! And if a person here proves to be trustworthy, and has some of the right stuff as they say, one never knows where things can go. A friend might be in the making, even if we stumbled along the way.

                  Sorry for the rant.
                  Last edited by CanDB; 01-31-2021, 02:48 PM.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    The human brain is incredible and I do my best to free my brain of the limitations I have placed on my brain over my life.

                    What keeps me trying to remain open minded is how many people over my life have brought information or view points to me that have changed how I think about things. It does not always change me in the way the person sharing the information wants me to change but we are all different working on different life experiences.

                    People on these forums have opened my eyes to a lot of things. Sometimes I do a deep dive into something I see on these forums and in my research...I find something that changes my view. I have proven myself wrong in doing these deep dives and I appreciate the things shared that help me get down my path.

                    Even the people I disagree with the most sometimes will bring up something that is enlightening to me. We never know where a good piece of information is going to come from or how something said may open our mind to a way of looking at something that helps us with figuring something out that may not even be directly related.
                    Let's Ride!

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Hadez View Post
                      The human brain is incredible and I do my best to free my brain of the limitations I have placed on my brain over my life.

                      What keeps me trying to remain open minded is how many people over my life have brought information or view points to me that have changed how I think about things. It does not always change me in the way the person sharing the information wants me to change but we are all different working on different life experiences.

                      People on these forums have opened my eyes to a lot of things. Sometimes I do a deep dive into something I see on these forums and in my research...I find something that changes my view. I have proven myself wrong in doing these deep dives and I appreciate the things shared that help me get down my path.

                      Even the people I disagree with the most sometimes will bring up something that is enlightening to me. We never know where a good piece of information is going to come from or how something said may open our mind to a way of looking at something that helps us with figuring something out that may not even be directly related.
                      Good stuff!! I mentioned in my post that I am open to anyone who wants to try to understand my position. I could be wrong too, so it's a two way deal. So Hadez, you and I may have had a couple of mini bumps in the road, but that does not mean I could never be your pal. I believe you are more open minded than many. I admitted, some folks are clearly not interested in trying to make things better, or take firm stands that I absolutely disagree with, and for moral/ethical reasons for the most part, I will never be their ally. In those cases, so what if you do not "like" me. I don't "like" you. Lets just say, if someone's ideas are based on complete nonsense...won't go further on that.....and they are matters of importance, I will move on by. No thanks.

                      Similarly if someone always challenges me, and never agrees, I get the connection. It's pretty obvious. It's not worth the time. Why? Because I have my share of acquaintances, and we may disagree on a lot of things, but we try to see mutual opportunities wherever we can. When we disagree, we listen. Sometimes we move over towards each other's views. It's a wise way to go. It's friendlier and it challenges each of us to grow, because we can get stuck on ideas that have little merit. Growth is good. Sharing is good. Listening is important.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        I've mentioned before, but I would again like to thank whoever has helped shape the "interaction" here of late. And my first guess is RYO, as one of the primary "folks".

                        The fact that negs are no longer part of this place was a step up in my opinion, in terms of decency. Anonymous, sometimes weird private comments, should not be allowed IMO. I think this was a casualty of the upgrade, so maybe it was not a decision to be made...but I am glad it's gone.

                        And for what seems a few months, in spite of the ineffectiveness of our football team, I have sensed a bit more overall civility. Not challenged like I was....even though in hindsight, after reviewing all that was said, I was in fact "sometimes" correct. Not going much further, but "continued" challenges by the same people, and sometimes in packs, is akin to what bullies do. At minimum, try to keep things head to head, with some chance for agreement. And yes, a bigger step up is when we commend someone we often argue with, because of a good post they have made. That's subjective of course, but I think we know when someone is doing their best to better this community and what it stands for.

                        So thanks. MBs are seldom expected to be all peace and friendship. Ideally they add value by increasing our knowledge about various subjects. Present different views, Have some fun and entertainment. Lots of good things, with realistically some friction/disagreement as well. Some unappreciated guests who have bad intentions. But the group can typically calm the waters, and give nasty folks the boot.

                        Last edited by CanDB; 02-06-2021, 11:38 AM.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by CanDB View Post
                          I've mentioned before, but I would again like to thank whoever has helped shape the "interaction" here of late. And my first guess is RYO, as one of the primary "folks".

                          The fact that negs are no longer part of this place was a step up in my opinion, in terms of decency. Anonymous, sometimes weird private comments, should not be allowed IMO. I think this was a casualty of the upgrade, so maybe it was not a decision to be made...but I am glad it's gone.

                          And for what seems a few months, in spite of the ineffectiveness of our football team, I have sensed a bit more overall civility. Not challenged like I was....even though in hindsight, after reviewing all that was said, I was in fact "sometimes" correct. Not going much further, but "continued" challenges by the same people, and sometimes in packs, is akin to what bullies do. At minimum, try to keep things head to head, with some chance for agreement. And yes, a bigger step up is when we commend someone we often argue with, because of a good post they have made. That's subjective of course, but I think we know when someone is doing their best to better this community and what it stands for.

                          So thanks. MBs are seldom expected to be all peace and friendship. Ideally they add value by increasing our knowledge about various subjects. Present different views, Have some fun and entertainment. Lots of good things, with realistically some friction/disagreement as well. Some unappreciated guests who have bad intentions. But the group can typically calm the waters, and give nasty folks the boot.

                          Negs were a "casualty of the upgrade". No one made that decision.


                          The only comment I have for right now, is that it is hard to communicate to someone who doesn't listen. Tunnel vision.
                          Administrator

                          Asian American and Pacific Islander Heritage Month

                          Lupus Awareness Month

                          "a semicolon is used when an author could've chosen to end their sentence, but chose not to. The author is you and the sentence is your life ; "

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            I look at conversations, especially ones involving sports in a way of I don't care if someone will agree with me or disagree with me. If I say something and someone doesn't agree, ok. Say you what you need, I likely won't care. That's the same if someone agrees. Why do I look at communication this way? TBH I didn't join here to make friends. I joined here to have conversations, to share my thoughts. There are posters who I respect and value their opinions, so I gladly(care) to have back and forths with them even if they disagree.
                            There are also post I respond to from posters I don't respect or dont know enough to respect. I respond to them if I feel like I can bring something to the table conversation that suits whatever the topic is.

                            If I feel like someone is starting to take disagreements of opinions, not facts, personal...I stop responding to them. Because I view that as basically going back and forth with an irrational person.
                            I do try to approach all conversations peaceful, though I know that the way I delivery my opinions can come off as aggressive for some people, not even just here, but social media, as well as my own live streams.

                            I've started pointing out my intent in post, because people in general have a habit of reading what they want in a comment, twisting it into something else, and assuming you mean something different from what you actually mean.
                            Last edited by InsaneBlaze23; 02-06-2021, 01:44 PM.
                            sigpic
                            Adopted Broncos:
                            EmmanuelSanders

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by InsaneBlaze23 View Post
                              I look at conversations, especially ones involving sports in a way of I don't care if someone will agree with me or disagree with me. If I say something and someone doesn't agree, ok. Say you what you need, I likely won't care. That's the same if someone agrees. Why do I look at communication this way? TBH I didn't join here to make friends. I joined here to have conversations, to share my thoughts. There are posters who I respect and value their opinions, so I gladly(care) to have back and forths with them even if they disagree.
                              There are also post I respond too from posters I don't respect or know enough to respect. I respond to them if I feel like I can bring something to the table conversation that suits whatever the topic is.

                              If I feel like someone is starting to take disagreements of opinions, not facts personal...I stop responding to them. Because I view that as basically going back and forth with an irrational person.
                              I do try to approach all conversations peaceful, though I know that the way I delivery my opinions can come off as aggressive for some people, not even just here, but social media, as well as my own live streams.

                              I've started pointing out my intent in post, because people in general have a habit of reading what they want in a comment, twisting it into something else, and assuming you mean something different from what you actually mean.
                              IB....I can tell what you're intent is by the way you post. You may be more direct than some, but I trust you. And I feel comfortable knowing that you are who you are. Genuine. Once I got that from you, I didn't need any more evidence. I like authentic. And even though you are not here for a "luv in", you seem to be here for other than gamesmanship, or to "suck up" so to speak. I'm good with all of it.

                              Comment

                              Working...
                              X