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  • Being British

    BEING BRITISH

    Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for
    a Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or
    a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch
    American shows on a Japanese TV. And the most British thing of all?
    Suspicion of anything foreign.

    Oh and......
    Only in Britain... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

    Only in Britain... do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way
    to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people
    can buy cigarettes at the front.

    Only in Britain....... do people order double cheeseburgers, large
    fries and a DIET .

    Only in Britain... do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens
    to the counters.

    Only in Britain... do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the
    drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.

    Only in Britain... do we use answering machines to screen calls and
    then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't
    want to talk to in the first place.

    Only in Britain... are there disabled parking places in front of a
    skating rink.


    NOT TO MENTION..

    3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.

    142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new
    shirts

    58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of
    screwdrivers.

    31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while
    the fairy lights were plugged in.

    19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations
    were chocolate.

    British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker pulling
    accidents.

    101 people since 1999 have had broken parts of plastic toys pulled
    out of the soles of their feet.

    18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit
    cigarette in their mouth.

    A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years after
    opening bottles of beer with their teeth.

    5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out of control
    Scalextric cars. and finally.........

    In 2000 eight Brits cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the
    toilet

    Good old brits

  • #2
    Originally posted by Jaws
    BEING BRITISH

    Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for
    a Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or
    a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch
    American shows on a Japanese TV. And the most British thing of all?
    Suspicion of anything foreign.
    Well other than the German car and the Swedish furniture........................


    Originally posted by Jaws
    101 people since 1999 have had broken parts of plastic toys pulled
    out of the soles of their feet.
    I've got a 7 year old, what do you expect....................and lego bricks are the most painful

    Originally posted by Jaws
    5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out of control
    Scalextric cars. and finally.........
    Not yet, but give him time
    The Whiskyteers ~ One for all, and all for MORE!!!!

    Broncomania Best Foreign Poster
    BFC.........D Will #27.............D Nash #29
    You'll Never Walk Alone




    Spiffing sig, MasterShake :cheers:

    You know, in certain older civilized cultures, when men failed as entirely as you have, they would throw themselves on their swords ~ The Operative, Serenity

    Maybe Slowick should pay attention

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by Jaws
      British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker pulling accidents.
      I understood most of that. I didn't understand the above portion however. Could you explain what this is?

      I think this could be more or less the same for Americans.

      There are two kinds of teams in the AFCW; The losers and the Broncos!!!

      I Support our Troops!
      How do you expect me to have a RED WHITE and BLUE sig when the background is obnoxious white?

      Comment


      • #4
        post of the month definitly

        Only in Britain... are there disabled parking places in front of a
        skating rink.
        Too be fair I go skating during the week when kids are in school, and that is when a lot of families take their disabled family members or friends skating. They are allowed to take the wheel chair on the ice.
        "On a given day, a given circumstance, you think you have a limit. And you then go for this limit and you touch this limit, and you think, 'Okay, this is the limit'. And so you touch this limit, something happens and you suddenly can go a little bit further. With your mind power, your determination, your instinct, and the experience as well, you can fly very high."
        Ayrton Senna..

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by Jaws
          BEING BRITISH

          Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for
          a Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or
          a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch
          American shows on a Japanese TV. And the most British thing of all?
          Suspicion of anything foreign.

          Oh and......
          Only in Britain... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

          Only in Britain... do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way
          to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people
          can buy cigarettes at the front.

          Only in Britain....... do people order double cheeseburgers, large
          fries and a DIET .

          Only in Britain... do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens
          to the counters.

          Only in Britain... do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the
          drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.

          Only in Britain... do we use answering machines to screen calls and
          then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't
          want to talk to in the first place.

          Only in Britain... are there disabled parking places in front of a
          skating rink.



          ironically, you could EASILY substitute "only in america" with any one of these. . . . but we're still vastly superior to you silly brits. . . . .




          Officially Objectified by the GPA

          rest in peace, darrent williams and damien nash-- you will be missed!!

          Comment


          • #6
            Uh-oh....be careful all you Brits! You are starting to sound like
            Americans!

            We've had pharmacies stuck at the back of the store for years,
            as a marketing scheme for people to scan items to purchase as
            they pass by all their products. Not only that, but our grocery
            stores like to split up our dairly isles to opposite sides of the
            store, so milk on one side and cheese on the opposite side.

            We have been known to move entire cemetaries for the sake
            of commercializing.

            And yes, Y2C..... we too offer handicap parking at skating rinks!

            You are so not alone!

            I'll be back in this thread....it's entirely amusing.
            "War is an ugly thing, but not the ugliest of things. The decayed and degraded state of moral and patriotic feeling which thinks that nothing is worth war is much worse. The person who has nothing for which he is willing to fight, nothing which is more important than his own personal safety, is a miserable creature and has no chance of being free unless made and kept so by the exertions of better men than himself.

            John Stuart Mill (Look him up )

            Comment


            • #7
              I think the best one has to be a photo I've seen of a gym, I'll see if I can find where it came from, but


              There's an escaltor running up the stairs to the front door!!!!!!!!!!!

              And there's a lad I work with who drives to the Gym at lunchtime, the gym that is a 5 minute walk away
              The Whiskyteers ~ One for all, and all for MORE!!!!

              Broncomania Best Foreign Poster
              BFC.........D Will #27.............D Nash #29
              You'll Never Walk Alone




              Spiffing sig, MasterShake :cheers:

              You know, in certain older civilized cultures, when men failed as entirely as you have, they would throw themselves on their swords ~ The Operative, Serenity

              Maybe Slowick should pay attention

              Comment


              • #8
                I still want to know how you break your arm in a cracker pulling contest. What's with that?

                There are two kinds of teams in the AFCW; The losers and the Broncos!!!

                I Support our Troops!
                How do you expect me to have a RED WHITE and BLUE sig when the background is obnoxious white?

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Day1BroncoFan
                  I still want to know how you break your arm in a cracker pulling contest. What's with that?
                  They're normally pulled with Christmas dinner and the like, so I guess if you pulled to hard you could crack your arm on the table
                  The Whiskyteers ~ One for all, and all for MORE!!!!

                  Broncomania Best Foreign Poster
                  BFC.........D Will #27.............D Nash #29
                  You'll Never Walk Alone




                  Spiffing sig, MasterShake :cheers:

                  You know, in certain older civilized cultures, when men failed as entirely as you have, they would throw themselves on their swords ~ The Operative, Serenity

                  Maybe Slowick should pay attention

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    British people drink tea.

                    And eat crumpets and sweets.

                    I love British people.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by xX-Bronco-Xx
                      British people drink tea.

                      And eat crumpets and sweets.

                      I love British people.
                      Yeah, but can you eat a whole one in one sitting?
                      President of the GPA, Head of Mainland Europe Chapter




                      formerly Officially Adopted by saltybuggah
                      I adopted Skywalker

                      I have been adopted by Chris Wade

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Jaws
                        BEING BRITISHOnly in Britain... do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
                        Never thought about this but it is laughable that the opening aisle that you walk in is the fruit and veg aisle, so all the sick people come in and cough and sneeze over the fresh produce whilst making their way to the back of the store to get some cough mixture/flu remedy
                        sigpic

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Kapaibro
                          Yeah, but can you eat a whole one in one sitting?
                          I don't know.. How big are they?

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by y2cragie
                            post of the month definitly

                            Only in Britain... are there disabled parking places in front of a
                            skating rink.
                            Too be fair I go skating during the week when kids are in school, and that is when a lot of families take their disabled family members or friends skating. They are allowed to take the wheel chair on the ice.
                            Oh wow, that sounds like fun.

                            I quite fancy having a go at that. I never managed to master the art of skating when I was on my two legs, maybe with four wheels I'll do a better job of it

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Jaws
                              BEING BRITISH


                              3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.


                              Good old brits
                              well? do they work?

                              Comment

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