Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

No self confidence...

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • No self confidence...

    Aight, I've basically been on this girl for close to 2 years now, we got together once, then we just stopped talking. Now we're kind of on and off talking, but we treat each other like we're best friends when we do talk. And we've been talking a good amount over the past 2-3 weeks, and I'm becoming attached again.

    Thing is, the other day I found out that she cheated on her boyfriend 2 years ago with one of my friends, granted she was only like 14, but still, kind of awkward and gets me feelin' like, damn. And she was also with this dude who is now jacked as hell and lookin' good(no ****).

    Like, the big thing here is she might be coming back to my school, and since it's kind of small, and since she looks good, all the guys might be all over her. Then when I look at it, I'm not ugly but I'm not hot neither, and I'm not in the best of shape,(Well, I'm not lookin' as good as some of the other kids in my school - however, I try to keep myself in shape, the winter kinda screwed me over though), and it's like... What if some other guy starts hittin' on her and it works?

    Then I start thinking about like... Why would she want to get with me when there's those other dudes out there that look better than me? And I get all self-conscious about my looks. Maybe it's the fact that I haven't had a girlfriend in like 7 months, and I haven't had a girl come up to me and say, oh you look good(Although I shouldn't and don't expect that).

    So, am I overreacting and worrying too much about how I look? I mean, honestly, girls this is a question for you, does your man have to look good and have a nice tone body for you to get with them? I don't know anymore...
    sigpic

  • #2
    Originally posted by ReleaseTheBeast7
    Aight, I've basically been on this girl for close to 2 years now, we got together once, then we just stopped talking. Now we're kind of on and off talking, but we treat each other like we're best friends when we do talk. And we've been talking a good amount over the past 2-3 weeks, and I'm becoming attached again.

    Thing is, the other day I found out that she cheated on her boyfriend 2 years ago with one of my friends, granted she was only like 14, but still, kind of awkward and gets me feelin' like, damn. And she was also with this dude who is now jacked as hell and lookin' good(no ****).

    Like, the big thing here is she might be coming back to my school, and since it's kind of small, and since she looks good, all the guys might be all over her. Then when I look at it, I'm not ugly but I'm not hot neither, and I'm not in the best of shape,(Well, I'm not lookin' as good as some of the other kids in my school - however, I try to keep myself in shape, the winter kinda screwed me over though), and it's like... What if some other guy starts hittin' on her and it works?

    Then I start thinking about like... Why would she want to get with me when there's those other dudes out there that look better than me? And I get all self-conscious about my looks. Maybe it's the fact that I haven't had a girlfriend in like 7 months, and I haven't had a girl come up to me and say, oh you look good(Although I shouldn't and don't expect that).

    So, am I overreacting and worrying too much about how I look? I mean, honestly, girls this is a question for you, does your man have to look good and have a nice tone body for you to get with them? I don't know anymore...


    welcome to my life. I have liked this one chick for about 3 years, but I didnt have the, well you know, to ask her out. Now I regret it........
    sigpic

    Comment


    • #3
      what a wimp man, (expecting negs) just ask her out, its not about looks at all, its all about your personality......
      sigpic

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by DawgFanatic
        what a wimp man, (expecting negs) just ask her out, its not about looks at all, its all about your personality......
        what he said.

        Comment


        • #5
          Looks vs. Everything else

          It'd be wrong to say that looks aren't important in a relationship, but you aren't the one who gets to determine whether you look good in her eyes anyway.

          You will be more attractive if you have more self-confidence. I think that is the first issue here. Be more sure of yourself and what qualities you posess!

          If you 2 have been friends for as long as you say, then she knows you pretty well and if she has liked you during that time, then as your relationship developed you became more attractive to her than you would otherwise be.

          Have you ever noticed that you can overlook certain flaws in a person because they are happy or make you happy? Well, that works both ways.

          Lastly, and most importantly, if she chooses to be with someone else you'll have other opportunities in life. Enjoy her friendship/companionship or whatever you have, try for more if you'd like to give it a shot and remember that the worst she can say is no.

          Good luck man!!

          Comment


          • #6
            thats life dude...

            even good lookin' studs like i sometimes have troubles getting the balls to say something...

            but you only need one small moment of balls and if you just go for it youll be right...

            you got nothing to lose...

            its better to try than not to try...

            no regrets that way...

            i know its hard...

            but it hard for everybody... its in our nature to doubt ourselves...

            just tell your inner self to shut up an go for it...

            thats what i do...


            sigpic

            Comment


            • #7
              man, straight up and honest, if looks are all this girl is going to see you for, then you should look the other way. what kind of relationship is based on superficiality?
              Blet

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by ReleaseTheBeast7

                So, am I overreacting and worrying too much about how I look? I mean, honestly, girls this is a question for you, does your man have to look good and have a nice tone body for you to get with them? I don't know anymore...
                WOW!!! You are kinda talking like a Girly Girl! (Sorry, no offence)

                Here is the thing...I really dont base TOO much on looks...they dont account for much of anything when you get down to it! Of course Im not going to date Atilla the Hun or anything...even I have standards on looks!

                If you guys like eachother...dont fret over nothing! You said she "Might" be coming to your school... Even if she Does toss you for a jerked pretty boy, her Loss! I have found that people who are All About looks are no one I want to be associated with! And in AZ there are A Lot of idiots like that!

                Im rambeline...
                Okay, Dont worry about your apperance too much, beauty isnt everything, Trust me! If she gets there and disses you, so what! I know it will be hard seeing that Every Day...but dont kill yourself over someone else's inability to see whats inside! OR Enjoy being single...figure out who you are and figure out what you really want!

                I know this prob sounds cheesey...but Im 26 and have been through everything but a marriage and divorce right now!

                Good Luck!!!
                Snk16!!
                VulcanGLF2

                Comment


                • #9
                  Well here is what I have to offer on the subject.

                  Right off the bat, if she is coming to your school and you think she will be someone many people will be chasing, well... truthfully there is nothing you can do about other guys. You jsut gotta go out there, be yourself, and hope she digs ya.

                  If you to get along, then it sounds as if personality wise she does like you. Now other people have said that looks won't matter in this case, and personality is what it is all about, but I am going to have to be honest here. When I was younger the girls around me, myself, and everyone else I knew was much more superficial then when you get older. AS you hit the twenties (the breadth of my experience extends only to mid twenties so far) personality becomes a much bigger thing when you are seeking out someone to be intimate with. However, at least in my experience, looks will be a bigger issue when you are younger then it is when you are older.

                  That being said, don't let your personal views on your appearence effect what you do with this girl. Just because you don't think of yourself as a sexy man animal doesn't mean she doesn't see you that way. Very often what you see in the mirror and what other people see are different.

                  As for how to approach the situation. Well that is a sticky situation. Every woman is different in how they like guys to approach them. My first girlfirend for an example, liked guys to be straight forward (though I did not know that at the time). Luck would have it, that is how I approached her. I let her know she was a fun friend but I wanted to take her out on a date. However my second GF liked guys who stumbled over words when they asked her out. She thought it was cute and sweet when guys would get nervous around her (and it was easy when you first met her ). Of course my current GF likes a funny pick upline, which I didn;t use, but thats what she likes. So every girl is different, and I think any advice on how to approach her won't be worthwhile, because no one here knows the lady in question.

                  I will say this, I think confidence, no matter what sex you are, is sexy. So however you approach her, don't let on that your nervous. Just be yourself, have fun, and don't over analyze the situation (I used to do that a lot). Just throw yourself out there, that;s all any of us can do at the end of the day....

                  Good luck RTB. I hope you recieve a resounding yes
                  Last edited by BigBroncLove; 03-28-2007, 06:50 PM.
                  sigpic
                  The only thing that can stop the ninja.
                  Setting yourself on fire so they can't catch you!

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    If you have been talking to her for 2-3 weeks she at least enjoys your company. (I don't know if you guys talked in person for 2-3 weeks?)

                    Take her out somewhere fun in your new Saturn bro. Go have fun and if your feeling the way you two get along ask her about it.

                    No reason to get all worked up about it. If she jumps for some stud so what, you'l probably be drving past them at the bus stop with a new hunnie who likes you for who you are.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Adrenaline
                      If you have been talking to her for 2-3 weeks she at least enjoys your company. (I don't know if you guys talked in person for 2-3 weeks?)

                      Take her out somewhere fun in your new Saturn bro. Go have fun and if your feeling the way you two get along ask her about it.

                      No reason to get all worked up about it. If she jumps for some stud so what, you'l probably be drving past them at the bus stop with a new hunnie who likes you for who you are.
                      That Saturn is turning into a no-go me thinks.

                      As for everyone's input, thanks alot! I appreciate it. And keep it coming
                      sigpic

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by ReleaseTheBeast7
                        Aight, I've basically been on this girl for close to 2 years now, we got together once, then we just stopped talking. Now we're kind of on and off talking, but we treat each other like we're best friends when we do talk. And we've been talking a good amount over the past 2-3 weeks, and I'm becoming attached again.

                        Thing is, the other day I found out that she cheated on her boyfriend 2 years ago with one of my friends, granted she was only like 14, but still, kind of awkward and gets me feelin' like, damn. And she was also with this dude who is now jacked as hell and lookin' good(no ****).

                        Like, the big thing here is she might be coming back to my school, and since it's kind of small, and since she looks good, all the guys might be all over her. Then when I look at it, I'm not ugly but I'm not hot neither, and I'm not in the best of shape,(Well, I'm not lookin' as good as some of the other kids in my school - however, I try to keep myself in shape, the winter kinda screwed me over though), and it's like... What if some other guy starts hittin' on her and it works?

                        Then I start thinking about like... Why would she want to get with me when there's those other dudes out there that look better than me? And I get all self-conscious about my looks. Maybe it's the fact that I haven't had a girlfriend in like 7 months, and I haven't had a girl come up to me and say, oh you look good(Although I shouldn't and don't expect that).

                        So, am I overreacting and worrying too much about how I look? I mean, honestly, girls this is a question for you, does your man have to look good and have a nice tone body for you to get with them? I don't know anymore...
                        If she's coming to your school from another, she isn't likely to know anyone, correct? That could be a good thing.

                        Me and my current GF hooked up when she moved here from Alberta. She didn't know anyone, and was pretty nervous (As I'm sure you could imagine).

                        Anyway, we ended up going to Tim Horton's for lunch that day, and Boston Pizza and a movie (300) the night after.

                        So, if she's changing schools, than maybe you could offer to buy her lunch, and go some place? (We skipped D-block / last period. What badasses, eh?)

                        Ugh, excuse the poor grammar and what-not. Been pretty sleep deprived lately.

                        Thank you Skywalker for the Marshall sig!
                        sigpic

                        Thank you Damien and Darrent for the memories. You will never be forgotten!

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Broncaholic7
                          And in AZ there are A Lot of idiots like that!
                          A lot, but not all......



                          sigpic

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Broncaholic7

                            Here is the thing...I really dont base TOO much on looks...they dont account for much of anything when you get down to it! Of course Im not going to date Atilla the Hun or anything...


                            damn, had my hopes up for a minute there!







                            Originally posted by OrangePeel
                            man, straight up and honest, if looks are all this girl is going to see you for, then you should look the other way. what kind of relationship is based on superficiality?


                            TRUTH!


                            beast, you really wanna be a pretty boy?
                            Officially Objectified by the GPA

                            rest in peace, darrent williams and damien nash-- you will be missed!!

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              As you get older it's 75% personality. This is coming from personal experience. However, this only seems to happen as you get older. When you're young everyone's just going for what looks best -- once this wears off (for some it never does) you'll start dating people you think you'd never date ("attractive" or not).


                              "When Kepler found his long-cherished belief did not agree with the most precise observation, he accepted the uncomfortable fact. He preferred the hard truth to his dearest illusions; that is the heart of science."
                              - Carl Sagan

                              Comment

                              Working...
                              X