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  • my frustration is boiling over

    well where to start

    i getting pretty ticked off at the hospital staff right about now. i know they are doing their best to take care of my child but there comes when they have gone too far.
    i am looking for advise about what i should or shouldnt do

    on sun at 8 pm we went to the hospital to see our baby. we stayed for an hour then left, well in that hour the nurse told us kaitlyn may need a blood transfusion. now we have been told this on a couple of occasion but nothing ever came about it. the nurse told us that kaitlyn is borderline anemic http://www.medterms.com/script/main/...ticlekey=15492 and the doc's will decide in a few days if the transfusion is needed. she also told us that we need to sign a consent form to go ahead with the procedure. the doctors and or staff will call and let us know if this step will be taking place.

    now we leave the hospital on sun and fastforward to mon. morning 10:30 am

    my gf calls the hospital (which she always does at this time) to find out how kaitlyn is doing. the nurse says that kaitlyn's blood transfusion at about 6 am went bad this morning because the iv came out.

    fire shooting from my eyes and mouth smilie inserted here.

    what the .... did she just say. from 9 pm the previous night to 6 am our baby had something that changed her status that quickly.

    now my gf hangs up the phone i call the hospital back and ask to talk with a doc. the doc doesnt call till about 1 pm. he asks me what i wanted and i ask how kaitlyn is. he says that she is fine they tried to do the transfusion but the iv came out and they are trying again at 2 pm. i ask him why we werent called and he states "i dont know im not the doc. that made the call on teh procedure but maybe he thought it was too early to call you" if this was said face to face i would of slapped the doc. that is the stupidest reason ive ever heard of. but anyway i shrugged it off on the phone cuz he wasnt the guy and that may or may not be the reason. so i tell him of my frustrations about not being called for now the 2nd time something was done to my child and not knowing about it untill afterwords. yes the 2nd time, the 1st was they did a spinal tap on her and later told us. my gf ripped the doc. a new one when that happened and told the doc we want to know when they are doing anything to our child.
    we live 1 min away from the hospital, there is no reason for any of this to have happened.


    so i hang up in frustration with this doc. and go to the hospital at 2 pm. the transfusion is already happening. my gf is crying and i hate needles and dont want to watch. but kaitlyn is looking fine. the nurse their starts kissing our arses and praising how good kaitlyn is doing. she says she is sorry nobody called and then tells us we need to sign this consent form. my gf sobbing just signs away. i was going to fight this because we never agreed to anything and they just went ahead and did it. sure i would of signed the paper if the doc's called us in the morning and answered a few more questions we had but thats not the point. teh point is they already did this to her and something happened and now they want to cover their arses.

    we leave the hospital and i call the hospital social worker and talk with her about my disgust with teh hospital staff. i told her that i dont want to cause a rift between the doc/staff and us and kaitlyn because her life is in their hands. i know they are doing their best to take care of her and they needed to perform this procedure to help her out but why doesnt anyone call before hand. i am not one for hearing excusses and i told her what the doc told me on the phone bout the too early speech. she was shocked to hear that and stated that is no excuse. i told her that this is the 2nd time this has happened and im just getting frustrated about not being informed when these issues are being treated. heaven forbit something happened to her in the morning during the 1st treatment that went bad and we were not their to see her. the social worker told me she will pass this info along to a boss and she will want to sit down with us to discuss what is going on.

    now we go back to the hospital at 8 pm the nurse that made my gf sign teh consent form starts kissing our arses agian this time she states "i would never do anything to harm you baby, i hope you do realize that" and other things. i for one am torn into pieces. i think to myself, " self she probably got got ripped out by her boss and the social worker." then i think "self i hope to god she doesnt want to harm any baby that is in this hospital"
    i play devil's advocate all the time.
    we told her it isnt her fault and we just would like to be more informed that is all. i didnt want her to get in trouble but why doesnt anyone call us and let us know what is going on.

    the doc finally called me this morning (the doc that made the call to do the procedure) and he states to me " i heard you were upset that we didnt call you. it is my fault for not calling you, i sould not have listened to my staff when they said you guys knew what was going on. i am sorry for not calling you. i had multiple people to attend to at the time and the blood arrived and i made the call for teh transfusion to happen, not thinking twice. kaitlyn's level dropped below a 7 (i forget ast the moment what level he was refering too) but anything below an 8 we needed to take action."

    this is bs to me and im just frustrated if something turned so bad so quick why wouldnt they call us and inform us on the situation?

    obvioulsy the social worker told them how they are not keeping us in the loop. but it is now tues. @ 4:41 and i still havent received a call from her boss for that sit down conversation. do i call her back or shrug it off? i know i should call her but i dont want to cause any more friction. also i dont want anyone else going thru this crap as well.

    all in all kaitlyn is doing well. the docs are hoping we can take her home in a week and a half.

    i do not have any doubt that the hospital is doing their best for our baby but all i would like is a simple phone call. is that too much to ask in this day and age?
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    sig by B4B6..

  • #2
    Originally posted by lynchembaby
    well where to start

    i getting pretty ticked off at the hospital staff right about now. i know they are doing their best to take care of my child but there comes when they have gone too far.
    i am looking for advise about what i should or shouldnt do

    on sun at 8 pm we went to the hospital to see our baby. we stayed for an hour then left, well in that hour the nurse told us kaitlyn may need a blood transfusion. now we have been told this on a couple of occasion but nothing ever came about it. the nurse told us that kaitlyn is borderline anemic http://www.medterms.com/script/main/...ticlekey=15492 and the doc's will decide in a few days if the transfusion is needed. she also told us that we need to sign a consent form to go ahead with the procedure. the doctors and or staff will call and let us know if this step will be taking place.

    now we leave the hospital on sun and fastforward to mon. morning 10:30 am

    my gf calls the hospital (which she always does at this time) to find out how kaitlyn is doing. the nurse says that kaitlyn's blood transfusion at about 6 am went bad this morning because the iv came out.

    fire shooting from my eyes and mouth smilie inserted here.

    what the .... did she just say. from 9 pm the previous night to 6 am our baby had something that changed her status that quickly.

    now my gf hangs up the phone i call the hospital back and ask to talk with a doc. the doc doesnt call till about 1 pm. he asks me what i wanted and i ask how kaitlyn is. he says that she is fine they tried to do the transfusion but the iv came out and they are trying again at 2 pm. i ask him why we werent called and he states "i dont know im not the doc. that made the call on teh procedure but maybe he thought it was too early to call you" if this was said face to face i would of slapped the doc. that is the stupidest reason ive ever heard of. but anyway i shrugged it off on the phone cuz he wasnt the guy and that may or may not be the reason. so i tell him of my frustrations about not being called for now the 2nd time something was done to my child and not knowing about it untill afterwords. yes the 2nd time, the 1st was they did a spinal tap on her and later told us. my gf ripped the doc. a new one when that happened and told the doc we want to know when they are doing anything to our child.
    we live 1 min away from the hospital, there is no reason for any of this to have happened.


    so i hang up in frustration with this doc. and go to the hospital at 2 pm. the transfusion is already happening. my gf is crying and i hate needles and dont want to watch. but kaitlyn is looking fine. the nurse their starts kissing our arses and praising how good kaitlyn is doing. she says she is sorry nobody called and then tells us we need to sign this consent form. my gf sobbing just signs away. i was going to fight this because we never agreed to anything and they just went ahead and did it. sure i would of signed the paper if the doc's called us in the morning and answered a few more questions we had but thats not the point. teh point is they already did this to her and something happened and now they want to cover their arses.

    we leave the hospital and i call the hospital social worker and talk with her about my disgust with teh hospital staff. i told her that i dont want to cause a rift between the doc/staff and us and kaitlyn because her life is in their hands. i know they are doing their best to take care of her and they needed to perform this procedure to help her out but why doesnt anyone call before hand. i am not one for hearing excusses and i told her what the doc told me on the phone bout the too early speech. she was shocked to hear that and stated that is no excuse. i told her that this is the 2nd time this has happened and im just getting frustrated about not being informed when these issues are being treated. heaven forbit something happened to her in the morning during the 1st treatment that went bad and we were not their to see her. the social worker told me she will pass this info along to a boss and she will want to sit down with us to discuss what is going on.

    now we go back to the hospital at 8 pm the nurse that made my gf sign teh consent form starts kissing our arses agian this time she states "i would never do anything to harm you baby, i hope you do realize that" and other things. i for one am torn into pieces. i think to myself, " self she probably got got ripped out by her boss and the social worker." then i think "self i hope to god she doesnt want to harm any baby that is in this hospital"
    i play devil's advocate all the time.
    we told her it isnt her fault and we just would like to be more informed that is all. i didnt want her to get in trouble but why doesnt anyone call us and let us know what is going on.

    the doc finally called me this morning (the doc that made the call to do the procedure) and he states to me " i heard you were upset that we didnt call you. it is my fault for not calling you, i sould not have listened to my staff when they said you guys knew what was going on. i am sorry for not calling you. i had multiple people to attend to at the time and the blood arrived and i made the call for teh transfusion to happen, not thinking twice. kaitlyn's level dropped below a 7 (i forget ast the moment what level he was refering too) but anything below an 8 we needed to take action."

    this is bs to me and im just frustrated if something turned so bad so quick why wouldnt they call us and inform us on the situation?

    obvioulsy the social worker told them how they are not keeping us in the loop. but it is now tues. @ 4:41 and i still havent received a call from her boss for that sit down conversation. do i call her back or shrug it off? i know i should call her but i dont want to cause any more friction. also i dont want anyone else going thru this crap as well.

    all in all kaitlyn is doing well. the docs are hoping we can take her home in a week and a half.

    i do not have any doubt that the hospital is doing their best for our baby but all i would like is a simple phone call. is that too much to ask in this day and age?
    Your going through a hard time.

    It's hard.

    Try and be as positive as possible ( although it's hard) and keep your girlfriends spirits high aswell.

    I will be thinking of your family.

    Comment


    • #3


      I'm in class right now, and can't respond as fully as I want to, but I'll write back as soon as I can.

      I'm so sorry you and your family had to go through this, and know that you're all in my thoughts and prayers...
      sigpic

      Comment


      • #4
        Definately not too much to ask. As a mother, I, too would expect the same that you do. A phone call and signing a permission PRIOR to the procedure. I mean, the permission paperwork is there for the parents to ALLOW the procedure.

        I'm thankful Kaitlyn is doing alright and you're all in my prayers.
        Ready for the friggen season already!

        Comment


        • #5
          kaitlyn is now out of her incubator and is in a bassinet
          hopefully she does well out of her incubator and the procedure worked like its supposed too but im just at my wits end with these docs
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          sig by B4B6..

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by lynchembaby
            kaitlyn is now out of her incubator and is in a bassinet
            hopefully she does well out of her incubator and the procedure worked like its supposed too but im just at my wits end with these docs

            I hope she likes her new surroundings!

            If I were you I would be incredibly upset with the doctors. Make sure that you keep them on their toes like you seem to be doing now.
            ...capture it...remember it...

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by redbirdy80


              I'm in class right now, and can't respond as fully as I want to, but I'll write back as soon as I can.

              I'm so sorry you and your family had to go through this, and know that you're all in my thoughts and prayers...

              your not coming back i just know it
              sigpic

              sig by B4B6..

              Comment


              • #8
                Is there a hospital administator or someone you can talk to?
                I would think there would be someone besides the staff that
                you could voice your concerns with.

                The 2 of you should be told when and what is taking place
                at all times.


                Best Wishes and try to stay positive altho I am sure that this
                has been a very trying time for you and your girlfriend.
                Tony G


                The Chefs

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by KCLadyFan
                  Is there a hospital administator or someone you can talk to?
                  I would think there would be someone besides the staff that
                  you could voice your concerns with.

                  The 2 of you should be told when and what is taking place
                  at all times.


                  Best Wishes and try to stay positive altho I am sure that this
                  has been a very trying time for you and your girlfriend.

                  ive talked with the social worker in the hospital
                  she is kind of the in between doctor / patient person
                  she informed me that the main boss is going to call me and set up a meeting with her. she hasnt called yet go figure. im going to call the social worker tomorrow when im off and set up a meeting, if not for my sanity maybe i can help out others that this could happen too.
                  sigpic

                  sig by B4B6..

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    This is what auntie shannie says...

                    Give em hell!!! ...if you did not sign the papers prior and something did happen to my precious angel baby niece...they would not only have my foot up their butt's to remove, but also a big huge massive law suit on their hands!!! This is your child and there is a reason they have to have your consent to do anything to her!!! Being this is the second time, something needs to be done!!! I mean how many other people go through the same thing!!! While I appreciate the haste in which they were trying to take care of the situation, how urgent was it really if they waited till 2PM to try again, and would it have hurt to wait a half hour to call you and let you know and get you there to be with her...

                    I appologize for my rambleing, but seriously...I have a lot of "doctor and medical staff" skills, and I am thinking about getting on a plane and coming out there!!!

                    I think you should follow up with this...I think that they should know they were in the wrong...we aren't talking about simple things here, blood transfussions and spinal taps are big things...and you and Jen should know about them!!!

                    You know I have your back...let me know if I can do anything for you!!! Hugs and kisses of course to all 3 of you!!!


                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by lynchembaby
                      ive talked with the social worker in the hospital
                      she is kind of the in between doctor / patient person
                      she informed me that the main boss is going to call me and set up a meeting with her. she hasnt called yet go figure. im going to call the social worker tomorrow when im off and set up a meeting, if not for my sanity maybe i can help out others that this could happen too.
                      That's my boy!!!


                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Wow, positivity is what you need, but considering what you're going through I know it must be hard. I can relate. My Dad was in for multiple myeloma(a bone marrow cancer). I was rarely informed of anything going on with him. You have every right to be pissed. Hospitals are busy. It seems there are alot of sick people in this country, but a nurse should be able to keep you up to speed if the doctor is really that busy. happy thoughts to you and your family.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          First off, I am so glad to hear that Lil Birdy is out of her incubator and into a bassinette. That is wonderful news, and shows how much progress she's made in the last few weeks. What a fighter. I've never even met her, and already I'm so proud of her.

                          Second of all, I do not think you are out of line AT ALL in expecting a phone call and a very frank conversation regarding each procedure that needs to be done BEFOREHAND. You are her parents and you have that right. Like GEM said, that's why those forms exist... so that you can give your consent for the procedure to be done.

                          I'm sure when you raised a fuss, they knew they were in deep, because they hadn't had you sign that form... that's why they were kissing your behinds.

                          Thank God that Kaitlyn is ok, and that the procedure didn't go any worse... she's such a fighter. But I can't imagine your panic at hearing "the procedure this morning didn't go well." That would have sent me into a tailspin.

                          I do understand your concerns right now, though, about not causing a rift, because Kaitlyn IS depending on these people. They are all in this profession to HELP babies, though, and wouldn't get retaliatory on her... that's not the way they're built. I think if I were you, I'd just be very matter of fact with whomever you end up talking to about this... not necessarily assigning blame to any one person, just stating the facts and why you were concerned about the way things happened. If you keep a cool head, nobody can fault you for that.

                          Good luck to you as you work out the best way to approach them, and helping them to better their process so that it doesn't happen to another family.
                          sigpic

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                          • #14
                            As a Mother I cant imagine going through this at all! You seem to be keeping it together pretty well.

                            Personally, I would call & call & Call & Call & CALL & CALL until I felt my concerns had been attended to!!! NO Question! The fact that a procedure was done earlier without your knowledge and then AGAIN without a concent form is completely unacceptable!

                            Even though the procedure DID help her...God forbid something went wrong and you werent called...(Im sorry, I cant finish that. But Im sure you know what I mean.)

                            Im thankful to hear that Kaitlyn is doing fine. But, please dont give up or shrug it off...If it is 'Allowed' now...others may not be so fortunate!

                            My thoughts are with you and your family!!!

                            xoxo
                            Snk16!!
                            VulcanGLF2

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              I agree with many of the posts so far. Spinal taps and transfusions are no small things to be done to a child. You should be there if possible for procedures such as those because your daughter will know that you are, and she will respond much better to being held by the two of you instead of hospital staff. So, I would try (if possible) to be there in the future if these types of procedures need to be repeated.

                              I would not sign any paper that just gives them a free go to doing anything to her without your approval. You may have to institute a policy where they have to contact you before doing anything to your daughter. Then, there will be no excuse if they do a procedure without your knowledge. Also, I would make it a point to call back the social worker and tell her everything that you have felt about the process, and I wouldn't hold back. By doing so hopefully it will bring about changes within the hospital so this type of thing doesn't happen to you or any other parents.

                              Lastly, I just want to say again that the more time you and your gf can be there to hold you daughter etc. the better off she will believe. Trust me when I say that she will know that you are there. I just hope that it is a feasible thing for you to do so, and that the hospital will give you all the access that you would need to do so. I wish you the best of luck. . .

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